My body feels like it is about to explode

[[dj...]]

Holy crap.  I’ve dealt with severe, chronic muscle tension throughout this ordeal but my “contents are under extreme pressure” today.  Stick a pin in my and I’ll pop.  Just woke up like this. 
 

Who else is with me?

[[Re...]]

Hello @[dj...], I have had an very strong feeling of unease in my chest/body today, I still can't describe it, I have not yet felt anything like it. I had numbness/itching (?) in my hands, arms with feeling of dizziness (or similar to something that I am going to faint), I had to breathe deeply. I thought I was going to pass out. It was not short, lasted about an hour or bit more, gradually diminishing. It was actually scary. Problem is, I am not that easily scared... 

[[dj...]]

1 minute ago, [[R...] said:

Hello @[dj...], I have had a very strong feeling of unease in my chest/body today, I still can't describe it, I have not yet felt anything like it. I had numbness/itching (?) in my hands, arms with feeling of dizziness (or similar to something that I am going to faint), I had to breathe deeply. I thought I was going to pass out. It was not short, lasted about an hour or bit more, gradually diminishing. It was actually scary. Problem is, I am not that easily scared... 

I’m sorry to hear that.  I’ve dealt with a lot of awful stuff during this but every now and then something like that happens which freaks me out.  
 

This is just pure tension all over.  Nothing new but this is about as bad as it gets.  Eventually it will wear my body out and things will relax but this has been at 10/10 all day.  
 

It will pass.  Just sharing the misery. 

[[wi...]]

It comforting when people can support one another in their suffering.

Thanks for sharing .

Im  miserable lately. Body and mind. @[dj...]as you said, 10/10. 

such a lonely experience, too.  Vibrations in every part of my body. Never stops. Muscles always feel tight and like they are going to break in half. Can’t even describe this s*it anymore. I have a full buffet of symptoms.

@[Re...]🫂

[[Wi...]]

1 hour ago, [[d...] said:

Holy crap.  I’ve dealt with severe, chronic muscle tension throughout this ordeal but my “contents are under extreme pressure” today.  Stick a pin in my and I’ll pop.  Just woke up like this. 
 

Who else is with me?

As you probably know, me. For me the pressure is in my head mostly and back of neck, it feels exactly like you are describing. Some more pressure and I will pop or blow a fuse. 
 

Sorry you are struggling too! I wish our waves would just let gooo. 

[[Wi...]]

4 minutes ago, [[w...] said:

It comforting when people can support one another in their suffering.

Thanks for sharing .

Im  miserable lately. Body and mind. @[dj...]as you said, 10/10. 

such a lonely experience, too.  Vibrations in every part of my body. Never stops. Muscles always feel tight and like they are going to break in half. Can’t even describe this s*it anymore. I have a full buffet of symptoms.

@[Re...]🫂

Yeah! I have pressure in my head and back of neck to the max, sometimes it spreads a bit into arms or legs but upper body is the absolute worst. Plus vibrations down my body severely too and that combined with pressure is some kind of otherworldly experience. And those tiny little pinpricks all over, what a nice experience. My head has been the hot spot recently. I had an electric storm in my brain today with buzzing, sizzling, electrocuting me. What is this shiiit. 

[[wi...]]

I hear you!  WTF is this s*it is right!!!

[[dj...]]

I at least made it over to a friend’s house last night and hung out for a few hours.  Watched basketball.  Not something I feel well enough to do often. 

[[dj...]]

14 minutes ago, [[W...] said:

As you probably know, me. For me the pressure is in my head mostly and back of neck, it feels exactly like you are describing. Some more pressure and I will pop or blow a fuse. 
 

Sorry you are struggling too! I wish our waves would just let gooo. 

Of course I knew!  Misery loves company.  
 

I can at least say that Wed-Sat this week were not completely horrible.  The fatigue let up a good bit as did all the electrical activity.  We’ll see what’s in store this week. 

[[Wi...]]

3 minutes ago, [[d...] said:

Of course I knew!  Misery loves company.  
 

I can at least say that Wed-Sat this week were not completely horrible.  The fatigue let up a good bit as did all the electrical activity.  We’ll see what’s in store this week. 

For me it’s been horrible for days. I feel like a live wire or something. My mum and husband have to take over my baby, damn. I can handle her only for her naps and moments of interaction. 

[[dj...]]

3 minutes ago, [[W...] said:

For me it’s been horrible for days. I feel like a live wire or something. My mum and husband have to take over my baby, damn. I can handle her only for her naps and moments of interaction. 

I’m very heard to hear about you and your baby.  Kids are a lot of work and add a lot of stress to this.  My kids are 10 and 12 and don’t really understand, so I find myself pushing myself way too much just to present as “normal.”  I’m divorced too so no help when they are with me.  Thankfully, they can mostly take care of themselves.  But it’s hard to explain that I can’t drive or can’t kick around the soccer ball.  Or that I don’t want them having friends over.  And my ex-wife does me no favors because she refuses to believe there is anything wrong with me.  

[[Wi...]]

2 minutes ago, [[d...] said:

I’m very heard to hear about you and your baby.  Kids are a lot of work and add a lot of stress to this.  My kids are 10 and 12 and don’t really understand, so I find myself pushing myself way too much just to present as “normal.”  I’m divorced too so no help when they are with me.  Thankfully, they can mostly take care of themselves.  But it’s hard to explain that I can’t drive or can’t kick around the soccer ball.  Or that I don’t want them having friends over.  And my ex-wife does me no favors because she refuses to believe there is anything wrong with me.  

Sorry! I have support and I really appreciate it but I feel bad about asking my mum for help. She is 76 and has a lot of ailments herself. Normally when I felt better she comes for half an hour a few times a day just to see her granddaughter but now she has to be here almost all day until my husband comes back because I have to lie down.

[[dj...]]

1 minute ago, [[W...] said:

Sorry! I have support and I really appreciate it but I feel bad about asking my mum for help. She is 76 and has a lot of ailments herself. Normally when I felt better she comes for half an hour a few times a day just to see her granddaughter but now she has to be here almost all day until my husband comes back because I have to lie down.

I’m glad you have support.  I lied.  My parents do live close by.  They’re in their 70s and help a little here in there, usually driving and taking the kids to/from activities.  They never hang out over here with me.  My kids are self-sufficient enough.  But, I would be in same situation with a baby or toddler, and probably even a 5-7 year old. 
 

My parents are in good health for their age but my mom is 78, my dad is 79 and my stepmom is 70.  I feel bad that they need to help me.  

[[Re...]]

@[dj...] I am at my folks, they are in their early 70s... I don't feel good about this either. But when I recover I hope I will be able to give it back to some extent. 

[[dj...]]

1 minute ago, [[R...] said:

@[dj...] I am at my folks, they are in their early 70s... I don't feel good about this either. But when I recover I hope I will be able to give it back to some extent. 

Yeah it’s an awful feeling.  I especially feel for my dad because he’s going kind of senile and can’t remember why I’m not feeling well.  Just gets confused sometimes. 

[[wi...]]

@[dj...]glad to hear you made it to your friend’s to watch basketball. Are you able to “feel” excitement/enjoyment from things? Even if I’m watching sports or movies I enjoy, I don’t have joy or excitement happening inside. Its anhedonia. 
 

you guys know what I’m saying?

[[wi...]]

Same here. Mom is 95. Had to experience me tapering and now with post acute w/d. 
she was living with me until I had to ask my sister to take her in, I couldn’t take her to doctors anymore or cook for her, care for her.

it’s been heartbreaking 

[[dj...]]

6 minutes ago, [[w...] said:

@[dj...]glad to hear you made it to your friend’s to watch basketball. Are you able to “feel” excitement/enjoyment from things? Even if I’m watching sports or movies I enjoy, I don’t have joy or excitement happening inside. Its anhedonia. 
 

you guys know what I’m saying?

No, not really.  I have bad anhedonia too.  I mean, I guess I feel a little more than nothing.  But it’s nothing substantial.  I don’t really enjoy myself but it can help pass the time and I feel better just about getting out and knowing that my friends saw me alive lol.  

Edited January 28 by [dj...]

[[dj...]]

1 minute ago, [[w...] said:

Same here. Mom is 95. Had to experience me tapering and now with post acute w/d. 
she was living with me until I had to ask my sister to take her in, I couldn’t take her to doctors anymore or cook for her, care for her.

it’s been heartbreaking 

Oh that is heartbreaking.  I hate to hear that. 

[[wi...]]

Are you still tapering? If so how long you been at it?

[[dj...]]

7 minutes ago, [[w...] said:

Are you still tapering? If so how long you been at it?

No I’m almost 16 months off.  Don’t let that discourage you.  I originally got off in 2019 after 19 years of use and lots of poly-drugging.  But I reinstated and got off twice since then which made things a lot worse.  I only tapered off three months the last time.

If I had properly tapered off the first time, probably over 1-2 years, I imagine I could have avoided a lot of pain and escaped with just a few scratches.  

[[wi...]]

@[dj...]no, you’re not scaring me.

thank you for sharing that you were polydrugged, me too!! 
27 years of it, started all with Xanax. They just kept adding dxs and more drugs, when I was having side effects from the Xanax. Did not know what was happening back then.

 Glad you’re here, buddy.

[[dj...]]

3 minutes ago, [[w...] said:

@[dj...]no, you’re not scaring me.

thank you for sharing that you were polydrugged, me too!! 
27 years of it, started all with Xanax. They just kept adding dxs and more drugs, when I was having side effects from the Xanax. Did not know what was happening back then.

 Glad you’re here, buddy.

Same story here.  Things went downhill from Day 1 (well probably more Day 12-13).  Just kept throwing more drugs at it and nothing ever helped.  Considering how quickly things started unraveling, I’m amazed I’m still alive.