Lost In Denver

[[wi...]]

1 hour ago, [[D...] said:

Thank you so much. While I don’t know you, positive affirmations honestly mean the world to me and can reshape my day. 

Works the same for me. I’m glad to help get you through. I know the power of a kind word or act.
I really do care about your success and well being. 
 

I’m glad you’re here, friend.

[[De...]]

Hey all. Wanted to update. 

After about 10 days of fairly good symptoms, I had one of the worst nights and mornings last night. As I suspect, I'm moving way too quickly through my taper from .5mg. To compound this, last night I had a beer (just one) for the first time in over 50 days, and I think that set my panic off. I'm really struggling today, shaky, anxious and overall struggling. I'm still managing to work, go for my run and be somewhat normal, but I'm feeling so discouraged and scared. I think my original cuts seemed to be going well and then BAM. I hit a complete wall. Sleep was totally broken last night and thoughts were racing. My current dose is still .125/.125 but I think I need to go back to my original baseline of .25/.25 and start over. I'm still on 5mg of Ambien. Talking again with my psych tomorrow to discuss dosage and plan. I went up to my original .25 this morning and feeling better but so unbelievably frustrated.

No major questions for the group, it's just very cathartic to share my story.

I honestly felt like I was cruising along for last week and a half and then hit the worst wall of my recovery. 

 

[[wi...]]

It could have been the beer. So many people say it causes super high anxiety and more the next morning especially.

Keep sharing. It’s very important to put it out there. You also encourage others to share. God knows I so often feel self conscious about posting, but I’m here to heal, not hold crap in that may send me into a mental danger zone.

if things get intense, you may message me any time. Keep me posted.

[[Pa...]]

6 hours ago, [[D...] said:

As I suspect, I'm moving way too quickly through my taper from .5mg.

I agree, I've watched so many members get slammed when this happens, you're cruising along just fine then the reductions seem to catch up to you.  The beer probably didn't help, some members do just fine with a beer or glass of wine, most don't. 

I'm glad you're going to talk to your team but this is how tapers go, you're the subject of this terrible experiment and adjustments need to be made along the way. 

[[De...]]

Given that I’ve been on .125/.125, and then had to updose last night and this morning to manage severe anxiety, I am thinking of going back up and reworking the taper much more slowly. I don’t want to go back to my original dose of .25/.25 so I might try a slight increase from where I was the last week or so. God this sucks so much.

[[wi...]]

14 minutes ago, [[D...] said:

God this sucks so much.

Yes, it’s very hard. All of it.

You will stabilize again. Reach out if you need anything.

[[De...]]

Hi all,

I wanted to share that I’ve cut my ambien completely. This wasn’t at my psych recommendation, but it simply wasn’t working anymore and I built up a tolerance. It was also causing extreme racing thoughts during the day, especially if I woke up after only a few hours after taking it. I didn’t do a taper or anything because it’s giving me no benefit and quite frankly hurting me. Last night was my first night. Today I woke up (not a great night sleep), feeling very very different than I have in a long time (in a good way). I wasn’t jolted awake or instant panic. I just felt groggy. 

So I don’t know if this is a positive step forward, but I’m optimistic that I’ve got one problem med out of my system. I’m expecting some insomnia and withdrawal, but I can’t go back to ever taking that again. Still on klonopin at my base dose and holding.

The work continues.

 

 

[[Pa...]]

Wow, you did it!  Oh, I so hope you'll feel as good tomorrow, please let us know, okay?

I can relate to feeling groggy, I never did when I was using Ambien, I'd wake alert and ready to jump out of bed.  Now, with natural sleep, I wake up slowly, feeling rested and refreshed.  

It sounds like you have realistic expectations about what to expect, some insomnia and possibly some symptoms but I hope you follow my path and start to feel better and better getting that nasty drug out of your system. 

Be sure to give yourself plenty of time to recover from the Ambien before tapering anymore Clonazepam, right? 

[[De...]]

Yes, I’m not touching my clonazepam dosage for now and holding. I am hopeful too, but given the ambien was barely working this was an easy call 

[[De...]]

2 nights ambien free. Continue to feel better. ❤️‍🩹 

[[Pa...]]

I've been waiting for your post @[De...], I'm hopeful this will continue to be the case.  There are some of us who can get away with a rapid discontinuation of Ambien, I wish it were so for everyone.

[[De...]]

Totally. I’m ok if it’s a rough road. To be honest, I was having issues for a long time and refused to acknowledge, thinking “it has to be the klonopin.” However, I had a string of days where I’d sleep 6-8 hours after taking the ambien, but waking up in a pure panic. I think to some degree, I’m now terrified of it, unlike the benzo. I think it would be much harder for people to get away from if it were working perfectly for them without symptoms. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), there’s nothing about the medication that’s working for me. 

I do have a secret hope that removing the ambien will make my klonopin taper more easy, but that’s a conversation for another day. 

im really appreciate for you and @[je...] for first highlighting that the ambien is something I should remove. So thank you. 

 

[[wi...]]

@[De...]This is awesome news!!

Very promising. 
 

Everyone is rooting for you👍

[[je...]]

Good to hear things are going well. 

[[De...]]

Bad night last night but I’ve read the withdrawal timeline for ambien peaks around 3-5 days. Sending love to all you guys battling. ❤️‍🩹

[[wi...]]

❤️‍🩹

[[Pa...]]

17 hours ago, [[D...] said:

Bad night last night but I’ve read the withdrawal timeline for ambien peaks around 3-5 days. Sending love to all you guys battling. ❤️‍🩹

I'm sorry it was rough, can you share why it was, was it symptoms, insomnia, nightmares? 

[[De...]]

I had maybe 4 good nights after stepping off ambien and last 2 nights have been really difficult. Had to take an ambien last night to get a few hours of sleep and feeling so disappointed and frustrated that I couldn't completely step off. Going to retry again maybe at a slower pace but just frustrated and anxious that I couldn't regulate off the ambien. Lots of racing thoughts today and trying to maintain optimism. Feels like I'm all the way back to square one.

[[Pa...]]

This is a process @[De...] which means its typically not one and done, sometimes we have to step back and regroup.  I'm sorry you've been so miserable but I hope you're not too discouraged, you'll get there, I have confidence in you. 

[[wi...]]

34 minutes ago, [[P...] said:

This is a process @[De...] which means its typically not one and done, sometimes we have to step back and regroup.  I'm sorry you've been so miserable but I hope you're not too discouraged, you'll get there, I have confidence in you. 

Ditto. 

[[De...]]

Hi all, wanted to update the group since you’ve been so helpful. I’m entering detox today to stabilize and be in a safe place. I wanted to thank you all for the guidance so far and sending so much love.

[[wi...]]

1 minute ago, [[D...] said:

Hi all, wanted to update the group since you’ve been so helpful. I’m entering detox today to stabilize and be in a safe place. I wanted to thank you all for the guidance so far and sending so much love.

Hey buddy. I’ve been thinking of you and sending you good thoughts through the airwaves.

I’m glad you’re taking care of yourself.

You have my support! Love you, brother.

[[Pa...]]

Hi @[De...], I'm so sorry its come to this, I'll be thinking of you and hope you'll let us know how you're doing while you're there.  

[[De...]]

Hi all, I wanted to update the group on my progress. I’m 3 days into detox and after a hellish first day, they’ve gotten me off ambien. I haven’t taken it for several days and sleep has improved. I tried to do this before but failed. The unfortunate part is they had to updose my K from .5 to 1.5 for today and then moving me down over the next several days in a supervised medical facility. The updose has obviously increased my anxiety because I worked so hard to taper down, but it’s only for 3 days and they will then move me back down to my original dosage level. I’m now (hopefully) dealing with just one drug and really really hoping this will make my taper much easier. I’ve been taking the ambien for much, much longer and more regular than the K, so I’m really hopefully their approach will make it easier. It felt very wrong at first to increase my dosage for a few days by so much but I’m feeling much more confident in the plan. I’m also entering a 30 day treatment center after this so hopeful I’ll be able to taper in a controlled comfortable place. To my understanding, ambien withdrawals can be equally as brutal as the benzo withdrawals and so far I’ve felt stable (4 days in). I’m also hopeful that the longer and longer the ambien is out of my system my brain and sleep will start to recover sooner. I’m aware there are rough days ahead but feel armored by the fact that it’s only one problem now and not 2 drugs. As always, appreciate your love and feedback. 

[[De...]]

Also, if I can offer any advice from my experience, please do not ever take ambien unless it’s for a day or 2. It’s not often talked about here on benzo forums but it’s so incredibly dangerous and misunderstood. I’m pretty steadfast that no matter how bad things get, I will never touch ambien again.