I’m so afraid, 2 weeks since Xanax to Valium conversion

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Will this ever get better?  I crossed over from 1 mg Xanax to 8 mg Valium 2 weeks ago. I know, the dose I should’ve been crossed at would be 20 mg but my doctor wouldn’t go higher than 8mg. She actually tried 6mg and it was all I could do to get her up to 8mg. Xanax was causing SEVERE paradoxical reactions, nearly sending me to ER after each dose it was so bad. I spent 3-4 days after switching in pure 100% horror. Shaking non stop. In complete agony. I am not quite as bad now but I’m still getting shaking attacks. Extreme depression and mental numbness, digestive issues and extreme crushing fatigue and weakness. I can barely lift my body I’m so weak. I’ve been tapering for 1 year now from an all time high of 2.5 mg Xanax plus 4mg Valium. 
 

will I be ok?  Will I heal?  Is 8 mg Valium still a high dose?  
 

I need encouragement. I’m so scared. I feel like the damage is too much to heal from