Nervous about jump

[[ch...]]

Hey guys! I've been doing a water taper since mid-june from 0.75 MG of Clonazepam and I'm down to 0.053 MG right now. I'm scheduled to be done with the taper in 9 days if I jump at .025 MG.

The taper in and of itself has sucked, but been mostly tolerable. I've been keeping track of my daily symptoms/mood and I've had 37 rough days, 74 "meh" days, and 89 good days. So I guess considering the circumstances it's been ok. During the good days I've been able to go out to dinners, drive, play basketball and do pretty normal stuff despite the rebound anxiety and lingering symptoms. The bad days have been a general sense of malaise + other symptoms, but I've still been able to play video games, read, watch movies, etc. I've held for 9 days total throughout the taper, but not sure it's really done that much. For the majority of the taper I was able to keep tapering and the waves would pass on their own.

In a lot of ways my anxiety/agoraphobia has gotten better as I've gotten lower. I wouldn't have been able to go out to dinners and drive as much as I have on the full dose a year or 2 ago. I started getting stuff like agoraphobia, OCD, restless legs and weird headaches out of nowhere a few years ago that I chalked up to anxiety or didn't think anything of. Now I've been able to put 2 and 2 together and realized it was most likely tolerance causing it or greatly exacerbating it.

Right now the dose definitely isn't doing anything therapeutically, and I was on the same dose for 12 years so tolerance is a huge factor and I'm becoming pretty certain it has been contributed to my worsening anxiety over the last few years. 

My biggest concern is I'm still having a decent amount of interdose withdrawal (I'm splitting 4x a day) especially in between the first 2 doses. It was way worse earlier in the taper though. Logically, I know the last dose is just "another cut" but because of this (and reading so many stories) I'm kinda spooked out. The daily taper has kind of taken out the predictability of it too, there's been a couple times where it's caught up and I got slammed for a couple weeks. For the most part though it would be 2-4 "wave" days. 

Any advice? I've seen a lot of people say they felt no different after the jump which to me would be doable, but the interdose symptoms can get really intense and my mind goes straight to the negative thinking it's going to just fall apart. I did think it would have calmed down more by now being so low in the dose though. 

Appreciate it in advance!

Edited January 23 by [ch...]

[[or...]]

Hi and welcome @[ch...]

I only have one piece of advice, and that is make sure you feel as stable as possible before you taper again, and I would not "myself" taper a quarter of my dose.

I've been 9 months on my taper, almost 10 now and just at .55 of my C dose (original 1 mg).  There's just too much evidence from our peers that tapering too much causes worse wd sxs.  I've had some even on my slow taper, but I wouldn't want worse.

I'd say read more stories about those that have jumped maybe too much, and too fast a taper, and Cold turkey, then decide if escaping worse sxs is worth holding a bit longer, and tapering a bit less.  Now I hear 5-10% is best, and holding has been best for me until I feel stable on that dose.  I do 3%, and the time has flown for me, I think it's worth the time to save me from the long-term, post-wd sxs I've read about,  oregonlady wishing you the best whatever you choose to do.

[[Wa...]]

What was your taper rate? If 9 days will basically cut you in half, why not just go all the way to zero? At your current rate that would only be another 9 days or so. Nice to hear it has mostly been tolerable, that should mean good things, try to stay positive @[ch...]!

[[op...]]

If I’m doing the math correctly, your jumping dose is equivalent to .5 mg of diazepam. That would have been too high of a dose for me to jump from. I would slow down your taper at the end and take it as low as you can. I tapered down to basically nothing and my jump was uneventful.

the other thing I would do is slowly reduce your dosing to fewer times a day - get your body (and mind) used to not taking it. Go down to 3x/day, then 2x/day, then 1x/day. Then when you jump, it’s just letting go of the last dose.

Hope this helps and good luck! 

[[ch...]]

13 minutes ago, [[W...] said:

What was your taper rate? If 9 days will basically cut you in half, why not just go all the way to zero? At your current rate that would only be another 9 days or so. Nice to hear it has mostly been tolerable, that should mean good things, try to stay positive @[ch...]!

I'm definitely considering it. Or possibly switching to one dose/day after .025 and then taking it down to .0125 or to 0.

I'm not sure exactly what percentages are, but I'm pretty sure it started off at 10% every other week from the start and then the percentages get bigger towards the end. I know the taper plan was based off the Ashton Manual. 

Trying my best to! I guess it's normal to be apprehensive around this time so I'm trying to give myself some grace.

[[ch...]]

1 minute ago, [[o...] said:

If I’m doing the math correctly, your jumping dose is equivalent to .5 mg of diazepam. That would have been too high of a dose for me to jump from. I would slow down your taper at the end and take it as low as you can. I tapered down to basically nothing and my jump was uneventful.

the other thing I would do is slowly reduce your dosing to fewer times a day - get your body (and mind) used to not taking it. Go down to 3x/day, then 2x/day, then 1x/day. Then when you jump, it’s just letting go of the last dose.

Hope this helps and good luck! 

Thank you! I'm gonna see how the next week or so goes but I think I'm going to take it down to .0125 or even 0 just for the peace of mind at least.

Definitely going to switch over to less doses per day too. Not sure if I should start now or wait until I'm at around the .025 mark though. Glad to hear your jump was uneventful!

Appreciate the feedback!

[[je...]]

I'm really amazed that splitting a dose of 0.053 in 4 is still alleviating interdose withdrawal. It's such a minuscule dose, one would think the body barely registers it. 

I only dosed once a day and jumped at 0.025mg. It was uneventful. I waited 3 weeks for the pawpaw to hit the fan but it never did. Personally I think it's important to be psychologically ready to jump. If you're going to be stressed about it, then the anxiety could make your symptoms worse. I was ready to be done. It worked out fine. 

[[ch...]]

10 hours ago, [[j...] said:

I'm really amazed that splitting a dose of 0.053 in 4 is still alleviating interdose withdrawal. It's such a minuscule dose, one would think the body barely registers it. 

I only dosed once a day and jumped at 0.025mg. It was uneventful. I waited 3 weeks for the pawpaw to hit the fan but it never did. Personally I think it's important to be psychologically ready to jump. If you're going to be stressed about it, then the anxiety could make your symptoms worse. I was ready to be done. It worked out fine. 

Me too honestly. It's strange. I do wonder how much of it is psychosomatic though because I'm able to go 12-13 hours without taking it when I sleep now. It's definitely not anywhere near as bad as when I was at higher doses. Before I could feel it wearing off 3 ish hours after the dose, but now it's 5-6 and definitely not as intense.

That's good to hear your jump was uneventful, that seems to be the case for a lot of people from what I've seen. That seems to make more sense anyways because it's such a low dose by that point.

It's a mixed bag for me, a huge part of me is ready to be done with this and move on, but at the same time there's a big fear of the unknown lol. I got put on this stuff as a teenager and don't "know" anything else so that adds to the apprehension.

I guess I'm going to see how the next week or so goes. I'm thinking once I get to the jump dose I'll start dosing once a day and just see how long I can go without taking it from there. Maybe not having a "set date" will make it a little easier psychologically.

Appreciate the reply!

Edited January 24 by [ch...]