I'm so scared😓

[[El...]]

 

I'm so so scared. I've been is this setback now since beginning of December when I had the cataract surgery and reacted on the NSAIDs eyedrops ( I do suspect they used benzo to sedate the eye too) 

3 days after the surgery the symptoms started, and first thing that happened was gi issues, with severely constipation. It was like everything died inside. Then other symptoms came, like heart palpitations, high pulse, looping thoughts, burning skin, freezing and hot spells, ear pressure, fatigue, dizziness, buzzing brain, constantly electric tinitus. 
Mostly I've been really bad in the the mornings and often better during the afternoon. 
I lost 10 kg and eat mostly liquid smoothies. 
I've tried 4 days ago to increase my food intake, but last two days the pain in my upper left side right over my hipbone has increased together with nausea and heartburn. And my left kidney seems swollen and I feel pain there too, and I really can't eat anything without feeling nausea and bloated. Yesterday I was feeling so bad and I got a emergency appointment with my doctor. And he could feel there was something wrong in the stomach on the left side, and scheduled me for a ct scanning of my whole left side, bladder, stomach, kidney, liver. It's tomorrow at 5 pm and this night I barely slept and right now I'm freaking out, constantly thinking it's something serious like cancer or something. 
I have to tell my self constantly... tinnitus are not a sign of cancer, I feel mostly better in the evening, looping thoughts, burning skin and so on are typical benzo symptoms. But my brain are literally driving me crazy with fear thoughts of doom. 
I'm so so scared.

 

 

Edited January 23 by [El...]

[[El...]]

Anyone🙏

[[Ka...]]

So sorry for all these symptoms. It’s a lot to deal with. Good you saw your doctor & have a CT scan arranged. Sending ❤️

[Guest [...]]

Hi @[El...]

I’m so sorry you are stuck in this setback (wave). These types of setbacks can last a considerable amount of time, but please try not to marinade in fear of not coming out of it. You will come out of it. It can just take time. I do know that saying that doesn’t make what you are experiencing any easier, but I just don’t want you to add more fear on top of fear. I know of others who have had these same type of procedure induced setbacks and some have taken even up to a few months for it to lift. I don’t say that to scare you, only to assure you that you will come out of it. 

Please don’t think the worst when it comes to your gut issues… it honestly could be any number of things much less concerning than your worst fears. You have plunged into a setback which may have just aggravated your gut symptoms. My gut symptoms increase every time I cut and decrease as I recover from each cut. I know that your doctor has scared you, and that’s totally understandable, but just try and remember that fear is a symptom in itself and will always take your mind to the worst case scenario. Just try the best you can to avoid marinading in that fear and just get through these scans tomorrow. 
 

I’m unfamiliar with your history…. Are you tapering, holding, or in recovery? 

 

[[El...]]

41 minutes ago, [[W...] said:

Hi @[El...]

I’m so sorry you are stuck in this setback (wave). These types of setbacks can last a considerable amount of time, but please try not to marinade in fear of not coming out of it. You will come out of it. It can just take time. I do know that saying that doesn’t make what you are experiencing any easier, but I just don’t want you to add more fear on top of fear. I know of others who have had these same type of procedure induced setbacks and some have taken even up to a few months for it to lift. I don’t say that to scare you, only to assure you that you will come out of it. 

Please don’t think the worst when it comes to your gut issues… it honestly could be any number of things much less concerning than your worst fears. You have plunged into a setback which may have just aggravated your gut symptoms. My gut symptoms increase every time I cut and decrease as I recover from each cut. I know that your doctor has scared you, and that’s totally understandable, but just try and remember that fear is a symptom in itself and will always take your mind to the worst case scenario. Just try the best you can to avoid marinading in that fear and just get through these scans tomorrow. 
 

I’m unfamiliar with your history…. Are you tapering, holding, or in recovery? 

Thank you so much for your reply. 

I'm actually 7 years out and I wrote my succes story 2 years ago. 

I'm currently trying to reassuring myself over and over that all the symptoms I have are benzo setback and not cancer or another disease. I'm telling myself again and again that all this gut symptoms started like 3 days after the surgery, and many other symptoms are not related to kidney, cancer disease, like looping thoughts, heart palpitations, burning skin, ear pressure and so on, I'm trying to calm my brain and make it understand this, and at the same time by posting this probably hoping for people to say that to me, that those symptoms I have now, with the kidney, the weight loss, the gut are common benzo symptoms. 

 

[Guest [...]]

@[El...]

There honestly doesn’t seem to be any part of the body that benzo’s can’t affect, nor a symptom they can’t induce.

I don’t believe any symptom list you will ever find online or elsewhere could ever be considered complete. 
 

keep reminding yourself that fear is just another symptom and it will always take your mind to the places you least want to go… 🫂

[[El...]]

Thank you all of you🤗❤️

 I took the ct yesterday and haven't got the results yet. But I got the results from the blood samples and they were all ok. But I can't seem to find ease before I get the results from the ct, hopefully tomorrow. Also I think, that if the blood samples are looking good then it might just be what I hope, a setback. I'm always so bad from the morning and forward, with all kinds of symptoms and in the afternoon I'm always feeling better, and That's such common wd symptom and I hope and pray the ct results will show absolutely nothing, because then I know what I'm going to handle and I have been through once before and will manage it again. 

I'll keep you updated 🤗❤️