Rose

[[th...]]

I was on Alprazolam for over 51/2 yrs at .25mg 3 times a day. At some point I started feeling terrible anxiety, depersonalizatiin, numb, blunted, anadonia, detached, suicidal idealization and overall dis ease in my self.  Four months ago I tried coming straight off of it with a process called NAD BR+ under the care of a psychiatrist. He guaranteed me that once I made it through the 10 day block of outpatient infusions I'd have no PAWS. Well, he was wrong. I agonized through each day and got so bad I entered what my daughter describes as a psychosis. Upon her multiple urgent requests he finally prescribed lithium at the end of that 1st month. (Oh yes, I must mention I was detoxed off of prozac at the same time). So lithium was put in and finally after I couldnt take the withdrawl on month 3 I reinstated alprazolam but at 1/2 the dose, so .37mg breaking my 3 -.25 pills in half. I just couldn't stop the suicidal thoughts downloading and replaying like a stuck record. The mental anguish and physiological suffering was just too much. 

I recently saw my primary care physician who is Excellent and filled her in on everything. She feels I should go back up as the suicidal thoughts still persist and felt the psychiatrist taking me off cold turkey was too much of a shock on my body. 

I'm not sure what to do here. I feel like a shell of a person and can't function cognitively. My brain is in constant freeze mode. My front cortex is unable to execute simple commands. Its like I can move A to B but not A to B to C without completely shutting down. It's terrifying. I'm scared and I believe the Benzos are whats doing this. But if my doctors right than I need them and need to stabilize on a higher dose until my other issues are further dealt with referring me to a psychiatrist with in her network. Not the one that did the NAR BR+

 

 

[[Co...]]

Hello @[th...]. Welcome to BenzoBuddies.

It seems that you've had real tough time of it. But I am glad that your GP is more sympathetic to your situation than your psychiatrist.

I've never taken antidepressants, so my knowledge is slim, but I know that it usually takes a few weeks (sometimes longer) for Librium to kick in. How long have you been taking it?

As for taking Ativan again: since your situation seems really quite serious, your GP is concentrating on making your situation safe. This is surely the right thing to do. I would suggest that once you feel relatively normal and functional again, then talk with your doctor or (even better) your new psychiatrist about possible ways forward. But the important thing now is to remain safe.

For what it is worth, you come across as functional to me, but understandably, scared. As the (increase in) medications take effect, these feelings probably will subside and you might then feel more functional. Does this make sense to you?

[[Fi...]]

s

Edited January 22 by [Fi...]

[[th...]]

Colin, thankyou for your feedback it's greatly appreciated. What you say does make sense to me. It's about getting stabilized and able to function.

To answer your question. I got on lithium a little over 3 months ago and it's now at therapeutic levels in my system, per blood work verification done only recently. It's standard to expect about 3 months for the drug Lithium to reach its full effect. In other words I should be "stabized"

This is why I do believe it's the alprazolam to be the main culprit right now in alot of my symptomology. Not that I wasn't already struggling terribly before. Every symptom was already becoming unbearable back before the detox with the NAD BR+ infusions. I just think the way the detox was done caused me further cognitive decline. It certainly didn't stabilize me or live up to its promise.

The Alprazolam is still at half dosage as of right now but I will up tonight and see if I can get some relief.

[[Co...]]

Hi @[th...]

Fingers crossed that you gain some relief after your increase in dose tonight. Keep us updated with your progress.

[Guest [...]]

Hi @[th...] 

Welcome to BenzoBuddies. 
 

I’m very sorry to hear what you’ve been through, and unfortunately, it’s not an uncommon story. You will find other members here with similar experiences.

I agree with Colin… the important thing to focus on right now is stabilising and then you can figure out the next steps from there. It’s just one step at a time. 

Keep us in the loop as to how you go on the higher dose over the next days to weeks. It can take some time to stabilise properly, so give yourself whatever time is needed. 

Once you feel stabilised you will be able to think clearer and make decisions, and you can then look at a sensible taper plan which we can help you with here. 

If you have any questions, always feel free to ask. 

WS
 

 

 

 

[Guest [...]]

@[th...]

I guess there’s a question of how symptomatic you are now compared to when you were experiencing symptoms prior to detox. 

The situation may be that if you’re still considerably more symptomatic now than you were back then, you may find that stabilisation for you will be more like your baseline symptoms prior to the detox, as opposed to having a minor to zero symptom profile. 

That is something for you to gauge… how much more improvement you would expect to gain from up-dosing based on your symptoms before your detox and how you are feeling right now. 

[[th...]]

Hello Winter's sun and thankyou for your reply.

Good question you asked about my baseline before and after. I'd say on one hand I'm better now with the prozac out of my system and being placed on lithium. Thats also the feedback recieved from my adult daughter who lives with me..

But I still feel horrible mentally and the depression has me bed bound most days. Overall I'm not well. I'm scared to go up but have started to in order to seek some relief. I can't imagine living this way for an extended period of time. It's no life for anyone. I can see why the suicide rate statistics is so high in those having it ripped from them. This feeling is like a hot marble running up and down my upper torso from my stomach to my upper chest. And my legs feel wobbly and restless.. The mental angst and depression along with this makes me want to jump out of my skin. I've struggled with depression for many years but some of these other symptoms I believe are related to being taken off alprazolam abruptly.

[[Ta...]]

I haven't been exactly where you are, Dear Lady, but I've been close, and I feel for you with all my heart. I got COVID in April 2020, and had serotonin syndrome. I was on Ativan, Effexor and trazedone at the time. Effexor was difficult to taper, as was trazedone, and their absence left me depressed. Not wanting to go thru serotonin syndrome again, I had Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation treatments, and the results were very positive. The psychiatrist who administered the treatments talked to me for a long time about my options and what to expect. I felt well-informed and prepared. So there are better doctors out there. I believe that you will feel better once you reinstate alprazolam at your previous dose, and slowly stabilize. If you decide to taper off later, we will all be here to help you and encourage you. Sending love 💕 

Eileen

[[th...]]

Tall Girl,

Thankyou so very much for sharing your experience with me and your outcome with TMS. This is something to consider given my history with depression. I especially want to thank you for sending support and love and reminding me that I'm not alone in this. ♡

[[Va...]]

Hi, 

I am also a part of antidepressant forum and from my personal experience and experience on this forum antidepressant withdrawal can have almost the same symptomatology and severity as benzo withdrawal.

Not saying that it is like that in Your case but it is possible that Your symptoms are due to cold turkey withdrawal from Prozac, also symptoms You've experienced before detox sound like tachyphylaxis (or poop-out) which here is known as tolerance withdrawal I think, and is a common occurence on antidepressants after prolonged use. People in tachyphylaxis feel better after reducing the dose of an antidepressant (speaking from personal experience) to a dose they are able to tolerate.

So again I am not saying that it was like that in Your case but it is possible, Lithium is not an antidepressant and has different mode of action so it is possible that it won't be able to cover for Prozac withdrawal.