Happy Little Trees

[[Bu...]]

I thought about putting this in Success Stories, but it seemed to fit a little better here, for those of us still on the journey.

Today I was looking at last year's calendar to see my sleep log.  Once my sleep had started to improve in October, I had started jotting down in the corner of each day how many hours of sleep I had gotten the night before.  It's nice to see the overall improvement from month to month.  It helps me keep the crummy nights that still happen in perspective, in light of the overall upward trend. 

My calendar is Bob Ross themed.  The Boss Ross of "happy little trees", glorious hair, and PBS fame.  I've loved him since I was a child.  When I was a little girl, I would come home from half day kindergarten and my mom would make me lunch to eat picnic-style on the living room floor while I watched "The Joy of Painting".  My love of all things nature and art started with Bob.  I sill watch him on YouTube.  Indeed during the worst of my insomnia, I would spend hours watching him paint and if sleep still wouldn't come, a sense of peace and calm always did.

At the bottom of each calendar page, every month has a different one of Bob's quotes from the show.  The one for last October was, "You have to have dark in order to show light, just like in life".  He says this often in the show and it got me thinking about this journey.  I think I get so caught up in the overwhelming nature and length of it, that I forget to recognize all the little bits of "light".  So in the spirit of "happy little trees" and as a salute to one of my best friends from childhood, I offer a "List of Little Lights" (aka:  improvements since this process began 11 months ago).

-Strobing vision/wavy/flashing lights much lessened and intermittent

-Lower G.I. symptoms resolved about 3 months ago

-Upper G.I. symptoms less painful

-Sleeping at least four hours a night, sometimes as much as nine! (in the worst I had several nights of zero and weeks with 1 or 2 hours a night)

-Dreams:  I have some.  Nightmares and terrors are mostly gone, now I just have good old fashioned nonsensical dreams.

-Rage and anger are much improved and only pop up very occasionally, they have simmered down to irritation, which is much easier to handle

-Blurry vision and pressure behind eyes are much better, sometimes they are gone for an entire day

-Bags under my eyes are gone and dark circles are nearly gone

-Anxiety/panic are very low and very occasional

-Headaches are gone for days at a time now

So, there you go.  Proof things are getting better, even if at first glance, it only looks like the barest glimmer of reflected light off of a "happy little cloud" on a hazy night.  Eventually the sky clears.  

 

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@[Bu...], my congratulations on your evident progress! I'm so glad for you) Your story makes me believe that everything is possible. Thank you for sharing we need it.

You say about little bits of light and it does respond in me. And the moments (days) when i feel well are full of pure happiness i've never realized before. It really adds up to the bits of light🌤️

My congratulation on your new position too. When i was reading your posts i thought you should be there!) 

Edited January 16 by [...]

[[Bu...]]

@Kate,

I am so glad it resonated with you. And I'm really glad you're having some good days, too!  And thank you for the congratulations, I really appreciate it! ❤