Checking in and Updates

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Hello everyone,

Since starting on 11/20/23, my nightly Xanax dose is down from 0.5mg to 0.3125mg. I've been roughly at the current level for 2 weeks, and due to some withdrawal symptoms flaring up, I'm going to hang here for another week or so until they settle down better. My future cuts will be smaller percentages.

They haven't been too horrifying but still disruptive: intermittent insomnia (as usual, insomnia was the reason I started taking these darn things in the first place), increasing hot flashes (no surprise there either), tingles in my legs. Also, after 7 months of being mostly under control, my lifelong arch-nemesis (IBS) made a reappearance last week but has since faded back under control. I know "Benzo Belly" is a thing; for me, it has manifested with a lot of bloating, discomfort, and I feel it spun me into the IBS attack too. There have also been random "vibrations" all over my body, right now in my stomach, other times my feet or head.

Beyond physical symptoms, there have been strange psychological occurrences too: I woke up one night terrified for no discernible reason, convinced someone was in my home. Another strange moment was a disturbance in my vision; my floor appeared to tilt 30 degrees for a brief moment, a jarring experience but in the scope of things, not a big problem. I also get songs stuck in my head on repeat; I thought it was my ADD but it seems worse now. At least I know that since this all happened during my tapering process, I can attribute it to that, and tell myself maybe I'm not losing my mind after all.

Considering all the above, I'm still feeling good; my spirits are high, and I am optimistic about my future. I have a good shot at getting this taper into my rear-view mirror by the 8-month mark as planned. I intend to keep it slow but steady to minimize its impact on my day-to-day. I was apprehensive that taking this plunge would negatively impact me on my new job. I'm happy to report that other than the handful of days I was living on just 4 hours of sleep, it hasn't been too bad. I am very happy about taking that first step to get Xanax out of my life for good.

On another note, I'm pleased with the scale I bought; I feel a LOT better about my dosing accuracy. I found my attempts to divide the pills into accurate eighths (my original plan was to reduce by that amount every month) nearly impossible. Maybe it is the dry air where I live? I tried a pill splitter, nail file, razor, and nail trimmer, but never could get it right. At least a third of the time, the pill would shatter into several pieces. I didn't feel like I was eyeballing it correctly, so getting the scale gave me more peace of mind.

I hope you all are making progress today. I'm grateful for this group; even though I don't post much, I receive a lot of support and encouragement by reading your posts. I don't feel quite so alone on this journey, and that makes a difference.