Horrible wave

[[wi...]]

I get looping intrusive thoughts when my CNS is  on hyper-dive. 
 

So much fun. ☹️

[[dj...]]

46 minutes ago, [[w...] said:

I get looping intrusive thoughts when my CNS is  on hyper-dive. 
 

So much fun. ☹️

Oh yeah.  I refuse to say some of the messed up stuff I’ve thought during all this.  I hate it.  

[[Wi...]]

I don’t have too many intrusives but when I am bad physically bad thoughts come on. Sorry you struggle with that as well. And sorry that you are under stress a lot, it’s horrible to have someone in one’s life that’s a big source of stress. 

So today wasn’t as bad, it was a bad day and not a terrible one. But omg soooo much buzzing in my back today. I feel pressure from the back of my head into my ass and my entire back is buzzing. This type of buzzing is completely non-anxious as opposed to vibrations sometimes get but it’s very annoying as I can relax but it is just in the background and on top of it I feel like there are pins and needles in my head and sometimes my back so that can get painful especially in my scalp. I feel like something is roaring, quivering, shaking me. It travelled my body today as always. Fun times. That pressure is some kind of a joke, it comes and goes but when it comes it feels a bit like g-force you get for a moment on a rollercoaster or like my back is pumped with something.  

[[Da...]]

2 hours ago, [[d...] said:

Its producing terror, anger, despair, doom from the amygdala being hijacked.

Thank You, it seems no one around me can understand the terror I feel, terror with everything, even talking on phone, or texting.  

[[ns...]]

23 hours ago, [[d...] said:

Yes, I’ve had crazy rapid cycling the past 3 weeks.  I made a post about it some 10 days ago.  It’s like every symptom I’ve ever had has come back as strong as ever.  A certain set of symptoms moves out and the next day a new set moves in.  
 

The last week I got a couple intense symptoms I haven’t had in 8+ months probably.  So that’s recycling of symptoms too. 

I know how u feel! I guess we all go thru it, it's no fun for sure. I'm sorry your going thru this, I am to. Got out today, it was tough but good for me to do if u can. 

Feel better soon

Ns

[[dj...]]

2 hours ago, [[W...] said:

I don’t have too many intrusives but when I am bad physically bad thoughts come on. Sorry you struggle with that as well. And sorry that you are under stress a lot, it’s horrible to have someone in one’s life that’s a big source of stress. 

So today wasn’t as bad, it was a bad day and not a terrible one. But omg soooo much buzzing in my back today. I feel pressure from the back of my head into my ass and my entire back is buzzing. This type of buzzing is completely non-anxious as opposed to vibrations sometimes get but it’s very annoying as I can relax but it is just in the background and on top of it I feel like there are pins and needles in my head and sometimes my back so that can get painful especially in my scalp. I feel like something is roaring, quivering, shaking me. It travelled my body today as always. Fun times. That pressure is some kind of a joke, it comes and goes but when it comes it feels a bit like g-force you get for a moment on a rollercoaster or like my back is pumped with something.  

Are you saying you can relax with the vibrations and buzzing?  Or can’t?
 

I have vibrations and buzzing probably 30% of the time.  I don’t know about you but I haven’t felt very relaxed or comfortable in about 18 months.  I’m always distressed.  Whether it’s muscle related stuff, all this weird nerve buzzing/vibrating, head pressures, mental stuff, or something else, I just can’t get comfortable.  Ever. 

[[ns...]]

3 hours ago, [[d...] said:

Are you saying you can relax with the vibrations and buzzing?  Or can’t?
 

I have vibrations and buzzing probably 30% of the time.  I don’t know about you but I haven’t felt very relaxed or comfortable in about 18 months.  I’m always distressed.  Whether it’s muscle related stuff, all this weird nerve buzzing/vibrating, head pressures, mental stuff, or something else, I just can’t get comfortable.  Ever. 

Djej2010, sounds like brain zaps! I got those with anxiety and panic attacks but not recently with withdrawl, I do get strange stinging in my head but it comes with the rest of it, stinging like bees all over. 

Today is a better day, it's tough but tolerable. I'm glad your having a better day!

Stay strong 

Be well 

Ns

 

[[dj...]]

59 minutes ago, [[n...] said:

Djej2010, sounds like brain zaps! I got those with anxiety and panic attacks but not recently with withdrawl, I do get strange stinging in my head but it comes with the rest of it, stinging like bees all over. 

Today is a better day, it's tough but tolerable. I'm glad your having a better day!

Stay strong 

Be well 

Ns

I don’t get brain zaps.  This is something different.  Feels like constant but very light electrocution throughout my body.  Most notably in my back and in my head. 

[[ns...]]

11 minutes ago, [[d...] said:

I don’t get brain zaps.  This is something different.  Feels like constant but very light electrocution throughout my body.  Most notably in my back and in my head. 

Djej2010, oh I know that feeling. I got that when I was forced off of lorazapam 3 yrs ago. I had no idea what was happening to me. I told every doctor. Er, I'm getting lightening running through my body. Feels like my brain is on fire. Like electricity shocks down my arms, shoulder blade, everywhere. It was hard not understanding what the heck was going on.  Oh its your neck, mri,  no it's not, ever Bern on lithium, no! They had no idea what thus was. I now know it was withdrawl symptoms. Strange ones at least compares to the ones I'm having now. I.think it was because I didn't understand what was happening to me, so I really focused on it trying to get help. No one could or would help until one day an er doc gave me a valium, I had relief! It didn't last but it was relief.  Then I was starting to understand but not completely. Anyway, I really do believe your having withdrawal symptoms, they come in all different ways and are different for everyone.  If your not sure. Go to the er, tell them what's up, that your concerned about this. They'll do an mri most likely I would think.

Hoping gave u been tapering and from what?

[[ns...]]

7 hours ago, [[D...] said:

Thank You, it seems no one around me can understand the terror I feel, terror with everything, even talking on phone, or texting.  

Darlene71, how are u feeling. I.just read this,  you doing ok? 

Ns

[[Da...]]

@[ns...]  Just another day lol TY how are you?

[[ns...]]

5 minutes ago, [[D...] said:

@[ns...]  Just another day lol TY how are you?

You doing ok? I read your last quote,vsidnt sound to.goid,vwhats up

[[ns...]]

Darkene71, had another rough day but better than yesterday.  Went to grocery store where I had my last panic attack and froze so had to go back for exposure. Did really great,  had another panic attack in the store but handled it. Realized today I that my anxiety is definitely from my ears and the tumor after being in the store, so going to an ent to see if there are any options available to Me for this. Anyway, u ok?

You said u felt terror. Talk to me, u ok?

Edited January 13 by [ns...]
Additions and corrections

[[Wi...]]

9 hours ago, [[d...] said:

Are you saying you can relax with the vibrations and buzzing?  Or can’t?
 

I have vibrations and buzzing probably 30% of the time.  I don’t know about you but I haven’t felt very relaxed or comfortable in about 18 months.  I’m always distressed.  Whether it’s muscle related stuff, all this weird nerve buzzing/vibrating, head pressures, mental stuff, or something else, I just can’t get comfortable.  Ever. 

With this type I can because it’s non-anxious but feels like there are 1000 bees in my legs or my back, it’s kind of forceful. But sometimes I get the anxious vibrations in my stomach, they feel different and come with anxiety. Both can be described as vibrations or buzzing but seems to be different symptoms. Before this wave I didn’t get the buzzing much, maybe 20% of the time and intensity was high very rarely. I did have a wave of that in August and September and then it calmed down.
 

I have just woken up and already feel off. I hate the pressure from my head down, wtf is this. And shortly after getting up more pain, like I have fire balls in my shoulders. Ouch! 
 

Now that I look at my notes I think I had a similar wave in August-October but not sure if the pressure was as bad. 
 

I hope it will get better again. What a torture! I mean I was still far from healed at all in Nov and Dec and I would have bad waves back then too but 26 windowish days, that was so good. I could manage! Even high pain days were more manageable if I knew a window was coming. And this now is somehow different. 

Edited January 13 by [Wi...]

[[dj...]]

7 hours ago, [[W...] said:

With this type I can because it’s non-anxious but feels like there are 1000 bees in my legs or my back, it’s kind of forceful. But sometimes I get the anxious vibrations in my stomach, they feel different and come with anxiety. Both can be described as vibrations or buzzing but seems to be different symptoms. Before this wave I didn’t get the buzzing much, maybe 20% of the time and intensity was high very rarely. I did have a wave of that in August and September and then it calmed down.
 

I have just woken up and already feel off. I hate the pressure from my head down, wtf is this. And shortly after getting up more pain, like I have fire balls in my shoulders. Ouch! 
 

Now that I look at my notes I think I had a similar wave in August-October but not sure if the pressure was as bad. 
 

I hope it will get better again. What a torture! I mean I was still far from healed at all in Nov and Dec and I would have bad waves back then too but 26 windowish days, that was so good. I could manage! Even high pain days were more manageable if I knew a window was coming. And this now is somehow different. 

The uncertainty around this is part of what makes it so hard.  There is no timeline for healing.  There is little indication when things may get better. Symptoms, and the intensity and pattern of symptoms, is constantly changing so you don’t know what to expect.  

[[Wi...]]

This wave just keeps on giving. Head or back of neck pressure is immense and it kind of spreads a bit down. Feels like something is about to start shocking me. Like I am going to have a seizure. This has gotten so much worse since it began a year ago. Why is it getting worse is beyond me, I am so terrified of these sensations.

[[ns...]]

23 minutes ago, [[W...] said:

This wave just keeps on giving. Head or back of neck pressure is immense and it kind of spreads a bit down. Feels like something is about to start shocking me. Like I am going to have a seizure. This has gotten so much worse since it began a year ago. Why is it getting worse is beyond me, I am so terrified of these sensations.

Willhealsoon, sorry your going thru such intense symptoms. I too have these. If you are really focused and thinking the worst it really makes symptoms stronger and more intense. If you feel that u are going to have a seizure, I would recommend er. Do u get enough sodium in your diet? Are you focusing too much on the symptoms? I know how the symptoms drag us to focus on them, when this happens I quickly tell myself, no, and I begin thinking of how thankful I am that its not worse, I can walk, talk, I'm grateful for food, shelter, etc, i watch therapy in a nutshell On YouTube with Emma, trey Jones anxiety, Joyce meyer, read, keep my mind and hands busy. It's so important to do this because we all get sucked in to focusing on our symptoms and they get stronger, we start thinking the worst etc. 

These are suggestions, if u feel u need medical help, please consider the er, if they find nothing you will feel better with reassurance. If there's something wrong you'll be in goid hands I would think. We get to a point sometimes where we need reassurance, I know, I've had to go to er, but they send me home. Usually I needed hydration, but felt more comfortable when I left.

I hope this helps you. Please look at your diet, are you eating enough sodium? If not, add some salt to your next meal, see how u feel. Many Medications deplete our sodium.

Be well

Ns

[[Wi...]]

 

This is so terrible. Geez. I am not improving and I will probably never get better because why would I if so far out I am getting worse. Apparently everyday life just destroys my CNS at this point. Yesterday was all about pain in upper body. Horrific pain. It felt like lava in my bones. I felt like I was dissociating from it as it came with head pressure. Today half of my day I spent with this horrific head/back of neck pressure that sort of feels like it wants to electrocute me and then the pressure started moving down and focused in my mid section causing it to be kind of squeezed and then it went into my legs and now they are buzzing, tingling, burning, feel like they are going numb, I have weird pains and twitches in them and so on. Still some back of head pressure, this seems to have stuck with different intensities, great. No terror or urge to pace though so I don’t know it’s some form of akathisia with no terror or what. I can keep them still but moving will make these sensations die down but there is no urge to pace or anything. So this just baffles me what the heck that is. Even the electrocution feeling from head doesn’t come with any anxiety feelings so I have no idea what I am dealing with. I don’t have the jump out of my skin feelings even though these sensations do make me want to be out of myself. But no terror surges, no feeling like I drank 1000 coffees described by others. It’s just a feeling of electrocution, of electric energy building up and up but zero terror or even anxiety. It’s so physical. I am so exhausted. It’s too much for me. I feel sorry for myself and my life. I absolutely hate what has become of my life. And it keeps on getting worse. 
 

1 hour ago, [[n...] said:

Willhealsoon, sorry your going thru such intense symptoms. I too have these. If you are really focused and thinking the worst it really makes symptoms stronger and more intense. If you feel that u are going to have a seizure, I would recommend er. Do u get enough sodium in your diet? Are you focusing too much on the symptoms? I know how the symptoms drag us to focus on them, when this happens I quickly tell myself, no, and I begin thinking of how thankful I am that its not worse, I can walk, talk, I'm grateful for food, shelter, etc, i watch therapy in a nutshell On YouTube with Emma, trey Jones anxiety, Joyce meyer, read, keep my mind and hands busy. It's so important to do this because we all get sucked in to focusing on our symptoms and they get stronger, we start thinking the worst etc. 

These are suggestions, if u feel u need medical help, please consider the er, if they find nothing you will feel better with reassurance. If there's something wrong you'll be in goid hands I would think. We get to a point sometimes where we need reassurance, I know, I've had to go to er, but they send me home. Usually I needed hydration, but felt more comfortable when I left.

I hope this helps you. Please look at your diet, are you eating enough sodium? If not, add some salt to your next meal, see how u feel. Many Medications deplete our sodium.

Be well

Ns

 

I eat salt so I guess it’s ok. I focus on my symptoms, yes, it’s all I can think about. They scare me to my very core. Honestly sometimes I think something else is wrong with me because why would it still be getting worse. 

 

[[ns...]]

12 minutes ago, [[W...] said:

This is so terrible. Geez. I am not improving and I will probably never get better because why would I if so far out I am getting worse. Apparently everyday life just destroys my CNS at this point. Yesterday was all about pain in upper body. Horrific pain. It felt like lava in my bones. I felt like I was dissociating from it as it came with head pressure. Today half of my day I spent with this horrific head/back of neck pressure that sort of feels like it wants to electrocute me and then the pressure started moving down and focused in my mid section causing it to be kind of squeezed and then it went into my legs and now they are buzzing, tingling, burning, feel like they are going numb, I have weird pains and twitches in them and so on. Still some back of head pressure, this seems to have stuck with different intensities, great. No terror or urge to pace though so I don’t know it’s some form of akathisia with no terror or what. I can keep them still but moving will make these sensations die down but there is no urge to pace or anything. So this just baffles me what the heck that is. Even the electrocution feeling from head doesn’t come with any anxiety feelings so I have no idea what I am dealing with. I don’t have the jump out of my skin feelings even though these sensations do make me want to be out of myself. But no terror surges, no feeling like I drank 1000 coffees described by others. It’s just a feeling of electrocution, of electric energy building up and up but zero terror or even anxiety. It’s so physical. I am so exhausted. It’s too much for me. I feel sorry for myself and my life. I absolutely hate what has become of my life. And it keeps on getting worse. 
 

I eat salt so I guess it’s ok. I focus on my symptoms, yes, it’s all I can think about. They scare me to my very core. Honestly sometimes I think something else is wrong with me because why would it still be getting worse. 

Hey again, I'm doing the sane thing, symptoms focused! Bern keeping myself busy, mind hands,  I know it's tough but u really need to put your focus somewhere else. For a week ove Bern jerking so bad that my middle is like a volcano, the nerves in my belly are on hypersensitivity and I cam barely walk but I do it! Feelsike my ribs will break, my leg and butt are so numb feels like a stump, my head, face and hands are stinging LIKE bees, i think I have ms, no I don't it's the symptoms. You see, we all feel this. It's withdrawal symptoms. It's really hard,  sometimes I feel.like I can't go on but I know I must because this is a season for change. You have to stop focusing on the symptoms and thinking there's something wrong with you ok, I do it all the time, but then it changes to something else. Withdrawal is difficult I know. I didn't expect this at all, I heard it was hard but I still didn't expect it.

Get out of your head ok. Watch Emma on YouTube with Therapy in a nutshell she's really helpful impromise. She doesn't talk withdrawal but anxiety. Stress, trauma, ptsd, depression.  She has really great ideas on how to stop focusing on your symptoms. Also, watch trey Jones anxiety. He's great, depression. Anxiety. Just good stuff all around about symptoms focused stuff, how to move past things we go thru. Healing! Please try to associate your self with what they are talking about, it will help u.

If you believe in God,  pray,  talk to him, ask him to lead you I to his rest. Read the bible,catch a sermon. 

There is so much you can do to help take your mind off of yourself. 

Get up, change your thinking, do something for u today ok!

I'm praying for everyone here, I will pray for you too

Change your mindset @

Ns

[[ns...]]

Just now, [[n...] said:

Hey again, I'm doing the sane thing, symptoms focused! Bern keeping myself busy, mind hands,  I know it's tough but u really need to put your focus somewhere else. For a week ove Bern jerking so bad that my middle is like a volcano, the nerves in my belly are on hypersensitivity and I cam barely walk but I do it! Feelsike my ribs will break, my leg and butt are so numb feels like a stump, my head, face and hands are stinging LIKE bees, i think I have ms, no I don't it's the symptoms. You see, we all feel this. It's withdrawal symptoms. It's really hard,  sometimes I feel.like I can't go on but I know I must because this is a season for change. You have to stop focusing on the symptoms and thinking there's something wrong with you ok, I do it all the time, but then it changes to something else. Withdrawal is difficult I know. I didn't expect this at all, I heard it was hard but I still didn't expect it.

Get out of your head ok. Watch Emma on YouTube with Therapy in a nutshell she's really helpful impromise. She doesn't talk withdrawal but anxiety. Stress, trauma, ptsd, depression.  She has really great ideas on how to stop focusing on your symptoms. Also, watch trey Jones anxiety. He's great, depression. Anxiety. Just good stuff all around about symptoms focused stuff, how to move past things we go thru. Healing! Please try to associate your self with what they are talking about, it will help u.

If you believe in God,  pray,  talk to him, ask him to lead you I to his rest. Read the bible,catch a sermon. 

There is so much you can do to help take your mind off of yourself. 

Get up, change your thinking, do something for u today ok!

I'm praying for everyone here, I will pray for you too

Change your mindset @

Ns

Don't use words like can't, scary, I knew it, I can't. Anything negative, turn it all around to positives 

[[fl...]]

On 10/01/2024 at 12:56, [[d...] said:

Willhealsoon, I am right there with you.  15 months out and have never had a window, just bad and worse.  But, since the day after Christmas, I have been getting completely hammered by symptoms - easily the worst two week stretch I’ve had.  And, like you, I am so fatigued and tired.  I’ve had tons of muscle pain and some of that chemical anxiety and depression I haven’t had bad in 6+ months came roaring back.  I had one pretty positive day last Tuesday and that’s the only break.  Other than a quick trip to grocery, feeding myself or giving my kids a ride somewhere, I have barely left the couch.  Even sitting up wears me out.  
 

This stuff is crazy.  Maybe this means we’re due for something good.  At 15 months out, I feel I’m due. 

You are speaking to me more than you know.  I am 14 months out and for some unknown reason the anxiety hits me.  I find myself getting scared and headed down the rabbit hole.  Any suggestions for distractions or coping mechanisms?

[[ns...]]

4 hours ago, [[W...] said:

This is so terrible. Geez. I am not improving and I will probably never get better because why would I if so far out I am getting worse. Apparently everyday life just destroys my CNS at this point. Yesterday was all about pain in upper body. Horrific pain. It felt like lava in my bones. I felt like I was dissociating from it as it came with head pressure. Today half of my day I spent with this horrific head/back of neck pressure that sort of feels like it wants to electrocute me and then the pressure started moving down and focused in my mid section causing it to be kind of squeezed and then it went into my legs and now they are buzzing, tingling, burning, feel like they are going numb, I have weird pains and twitches in them and so on. Still some back of head pressure, this seems to have stuck with different intensities, great. No terror or urge to pace though so I don’t know it’s some form of akathisia with no terror or what. I can keep them still but moving will make these sensations die down but there is no urge to pace or anything. So this just baffles me what the heck that is. Even the electrocution feeling from head doesn’t come with any anxiety feelings so I have no idea what I am dealing with. I don’t have the jump out of my skin feelings even though these sensations do make me want to be out of myself. But no terror surges, no feeling like I drank 1000 coffees described by others. It’s just a feeling of electrocution, of electric energy building up and up but zero terror or even anxiety. It’s so physical. I am so exhausted. It’s too much for me. I feel sorry for myself and my life. I absolutely hate what has become of my life. And it keeps on getting worse. 
 

I eat salt so I guess it’s ok. I focus on my symptoms, yes, it’s all I can think about. They scare me to my very core. Honestly sometimes I think something else is wrong with me because why would it still be getting worse. 

You really should read this, amazing!

I hope it helps to answer some of your question! 

Sorry this is the wrong link, see next post

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?board=146.0

Here is the right link!

https://www.benzoinfo.com/ashtonmanual/chapter3/#sensory-hypersensitivity

Edited January 15 by [ns...]
Addition

[[Bi...]]

My symptoms ramped up in September and then Ive been stable since going on a very low dose of a beta blocker. I had a flu like illness over Christmas and again symptoms ramped up. Thought I might pass out while on a short walk too.. depression hit hard and I've been fighting since

[[ns...]]

8 minutes ago, [[B...] said:

My symptoms ramped up in September and then Ive been stable since going on a very low dose of a beta blocker. I had a flu like illness over Christmas and again symptoms ramped up. Thought I might pass out while on a short walk too.. depression hit hard and I've been fighting since

Sorry this is the wrong link! 

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?board=146.0

Hope u find this helpful!

Ns

Edited January 14 by [ns...]
Additions and corrections

[[ns...]]

30 minutes ago, [[B...] said:

My symptoms ramped up in September and then Ive been stable since going on a very low dose of a beta blocker. I had a flu like illness over Christmas and again symptoms ramped up. Thought I might pass out while on a short walk too.. depression hit hard and I've been fighting since

https://www.benzoinfo.com/ashtonmanual/chapter3/#sensory-hypersensitivity

Here's the link, I hope it helps