I have a weird one for you

[[le...]]

Hi, I don't know if there's a place where I should have introduced myself first, but I'm new here and I have a weird case to share with you and ask you for opinions.

Almost 5 years ago I met a woman in my neighborhood and we became friends and started developing a relationship pretty quickly. This woman claimed to have gotten out of a bad relationship and said she was suffering of anxiety and depression, and she took Sertraline and Klonopin everyday.

After a while I started going to her apartment almost everyday, we ate together and spent a lot of time together when I wasn't working. She told me she enjoyed my company and  I was helping her heal.

Months passed and I started developing some weird symptoms, I was feeling weak, tired, in pain, like I had the flu but not exactly. Time passed and instead of recovering I started to get worse, to the point I was almost bed ridden most of the time.

I developed a very high fever which wouldn't break so I took ibuprofen, but then my face became swollen, specially my eyes, as if I had been bitten by a bee. I went to the doctor and he prescribed some antibiotics, I don't remember the name. This made things worse, I started having muscle spasms and electricity like sensation in my muscles, I also started having severe intestinal problems. Maybe you can guess where this is going.

I went to see this woman again and she told me she had poisoned me, she told me there were literally thousands of things she could have put in my food, drink and coffee and that I would never figure it out.

Next few months are a blur, I tried to power through it but I was growing worse, lots of nervousness and anxiety, I couldn't stand still, my legs where in terrible pain, like being electrocuted and on fire at the same time, and all I could do was paced through my apartment and chain smoke until I fall sleep.

My doctor sent me to a psychiatrist who was also a neurologist and he prescribed me, perhaps you guessed it, a benzo, called lorazepam. At first it helped me sleep but my physical sensations where even worse now. By this point I had dropped more than 20 kg. and was severely debilitated. To cut this story short, this started a long list of trial and error with medications and I was even put on an antipsychotic called olanzapine.

 

Two years passed and I was most of the pandemic bed ridden and enduring what can only be described as torture every day. Some mental anguish but it was mostly physical and no doctor could figure out if there was anything physiological since test results came back ok, for the most part.

Finally one doctor told me "why were you put on all this medication since you seem mentally stable and very cooperative?" I don't know, was my answer, I just wanted the pain to stop and trusted the doctors.

 

I'm summarizing but I changed doctors, and went to a psychiatrist who is also a neurologist and a clinician, and she changed medications and started a slow tapering program. She continued just one milligram of lorazepam and started me on one mg risperidone, 5mg mirtazapine, and an antiparkinsonian drug whose name I don't remember.

 

I Started to feel somewhat better and could kind of perform everyday tasks again, so we started tapering, first the mirtazapine, then the antiparkinson drug and finally the lorazepam. Once I was finally free of the benzo I started to feel better, but still somewhat weak, with still some pain, but it went from a 10 to a 5.

Now I'm on a quarter Risperidone but I'm starting to feel bad this last few weeks, some muscle spasms, some muscle pain, major neck and back pain, terrible posture and I'm still 10 kg below my normal weight.

 

Am I crazy for thinking I may have very well been poisoned with the very psychiatric drugs that were later prescribed to me? Or maybe it was something else, but since stopping benzos made things better, I looked in the Ashton Manual and I had most of the physical symptoms and some of the psychological.

Before this I had no prior history of mental illness, no history of family mental illness, no prior major physical issues except a couple of sports injuries.

I'm seeing my doctor next month and she wants to stop the risperidone and discharge me during the course of this current year. She wants to see some physical improvement though, and is pushing me to exercise but all my previous attempts failed so far.

Before all this I was 1.72 mts 70 kg, I went to the gym 3 times a week and played football on sundays, only smoked 8 cigarettes a day and was on my way to quitting, and I was 35 years old.

 

Now I'm about to turn 40 and I feel like 60 or more. Weight 60 kg on a good day, can barely walk, don't play football anymore, have a gym set at home but can barely do once a week pushing it and I smoke a pack a day.

Thoughts?

[[Pa...]]

Hello @[le...], welcome to BenzoBuddies,

I’m sorry to hear how rough its been for you, did you file a police report, did you have tests to try to identify the possible substance you were poisoned with?  How long ago did you stop the Lorazepam and what diagnosis did your doctor assign you in order to treat your symptoms?

I hope we can help you figure this out.

Pamster

[[le...]]

Hi! Yes, we did some blood and urine work but by that point weeks has passed and there was nothing in my system, at least not the things they were looking for, they looked for heavy metal poisoning, arsenic, and some other stuff but nothing came up. They also did a complete blood work and didn't find anything.

I tried filing a police report but that was another story, keep in mind I live in what may be considered a third world country and English is not my first language.

I stopped the lorazepam almost a year ago, and I was never given a diagnosis, they just treated my symptoms as we went along until I found this new doctor who seemed to have a more clear plan.

Edited January 9 by [le...]

[[bc...]]

I would have punched your ex partner and took legal action. Hope that person suffers worse then you have..I'm sorry this has happened to u

[[le...]]

Thanks dude, but that would've gotten me in a lot more trouble with things I found out after the fact. It's was very hard to deal with but taking no rush actions turned out to be the best decision 

[[Da...]]

The doctors did the same with me, I have tried a myriad of medications over the years, all with side effects both with starting and stopping them.  I had the same exact symptoms you describe plus some.  They say I am treatment resistant or I take a paradoxical effect.  I say I am treatment resistant because they are treating me for the wrong thing.  It is crazy that the same warning for starting a medication is the same as stopping it.  I am sorry to hear that someone would do such a thing and do hope things level out for you.  I have lost 30lbs in 4-6 months - down to a mere 96lbs and looking like I am 20 years older than I am.  They had me try Zoloft a couple of months ago and immediately I felt the heaviness in my body, like my legs were being pinned down..  I was on them less than 1 month but I still feel that sometimes.

[[le...]]

Some medications have helped with my weight loss, mirtazapine and risperidone, like all antipsychotics make you put on weight, but mainly in the gut, I suspect there's nothing to recover from muscle wasting. I only recovered less than half of what I lost and been slowly losing it again as I tapered off the medications. It was all in my belly, which has been slowly going down again. My arms, legs and torso are way smaller, I had to buy new smaller clothes.

I suspect the weakness may be in part nervous system related and in part due to the sheer amount of muscle wasting. It was hard to deal with since I was used to being in pretty good shape all my life and always playing sports, but I've learned to accept it.

My main concern now is getting rid of this neck and back pain, correcting my posture and slowly starting weight training even with very little weight, we will see how it goes. One day at a time.

[[le...]]

My cervical spine is killing me, it feels like as if one of the first discs were out of place. It feels like it's getting worse, now my head hurts and I'm very dizzy. I thought I was out of the woods, because I was getting increasingly better the past 5 or 6 months.

[[ns...]]

Leiferikson1020

Sir I'm so sorry you found yourself a psycho! You poor guy! 

You know it could have even been benzos, and once it was out of your system you went into withdrawal. These things are unpredictable but who really knows. I'm sure you're grateful to be rid of her! Keep.pushing, don't give up! The brain is amazing and will heal itself. It's best in my opinion to get off of all meds, they are keeping unfrom healing. Once you do, your brain can begin to heal. Watch pain free you on YouTube, you'll be amazed! Practice thankfulness, gratefulness. I know I know, but this helps more than u know. If u are spiritual, lean into your faith! My point, take your mind off of the negative and turn around to newness of life! Healing etc. Try not to be symptom focused, it's difficult,  I've been symptoms focused all day today with withdrawl symptoms,  but tomorrow I will start again. 

I hope very much you will be healing soon, this was a tragedy in your life but it's time to look forward and not back.

Blessings 

Ns