17 months benzo free

[[Sc...]]

Don't ask me what my symptoms were as I don't want to remember. But if u r still curious, during my benzo intake and during my taper and many months post taper, I was lying in my floor asking God to take me. I was crying continuously even in front of strangers. Akasthisia almost had me killed. I was praying God that please keep my symptoms but atleast make them manageable so that I can at least survive. 

Many symptoms have gone, but 3 are there.The most brutal being emotional numbness or the feeling of normal flow of emotions which makes life feel like life. It feels as though the main and basic ingredient of life is missing and it's so very frustrating and discouraging most of the time. The remaining 2 symptoms are stomach issues and chest pain. There two are troublesome too but the emotional numbness is far far disastrous than the rest 2 symptoms. 

I want to feel happy once again. I want to feel normal, but everything seems just black n white. You give me a million dollars and I will still ask, want will I do with this if my emotions are absent. 

 

Yes and about the pre existing symptoms that brought me to benzos: 

Anxiety, Depression, OCD.. Well I have made progress, and I'm sure if I had done things that I'm doing now, by now the pre existing conditions would have been in remission. But destiny had other plans and landed me with benzos, but there's no point digging the past, it's the worst investment of time and energy. 

 I can only believe healing when it happens fully for me. And I'm ready to do anything to get there. 

 

[[Gr...]]

I’m right there with you. I’m about 16 months nine days benzo free, but still suffering with a few major withdrawals like you I’m dealing with a lot of mental things one is anger issues for no reason I was never a angry person but yet sometimes I’ll cry uncontrollably for five minutes which used to be for hours, still having a lot of deep pain in my bones specially, And the base of my neck and skull area but life is so much better. Just be glad when all the rewiring takes place wishing you the best

[[Mo...]]

Hello. I'm sorry you're not feeling well. I hope for a quick recovery for you and all the buddies. Emotional numbness. I think I can relate had a bout of it month 8 of my withdrawal. Was it anhedonia? That's what I had