Interdose wd, am I having it?

[[or...]]

 

I see this second sentence didn't make sense at all, so sorry, glad I can edit.  I taper "from" a 1 mg C that weighs .170 (average of 10 tabs). My last cut was 3% from .100 mg.  That's all in my "History" area if anyone wants to look here.  Sorry about any confusion I've caused, oregonlady.

I can't seem to feel confident enough to taper again.  My last taper was 3% of my .170 mg tablet of Clonazepam, which brought me to 58% of my dose.  I've been holding since December 1st.  I'm just a bit surprised I've had to hold this long but tremors, sweating, then freezing, blah blah blah.  I just hate to get on here and cry about my wd sxs because they are so light compared to what others are suffering.  But I need to ask for help, so help??

I haven't changed my diet, although less exercise as I felt really good about staying isolated because I've been so miserable. Social anxiety, feel I'm getting uglier every day, don't want to look in the mirror at all I am literally sitting here laughing and crying

OMG, I went way off topic, so I'll get back on.  I've been wondering if I have interdose issues.  I hesitate to cut my tiny bit in half and take only 1/2 twice a day.  I am afraid that 1/2 a dose won't do anything at all for me.  Does anyone understand this fear?  I guess the larger "piece" I can still know I am taking the safer I feel, but I have to try the twice a day I think.  That means just 50mg and feels like I'm facing Goliath to do that, oregonlady

Edited January 10 by [or...]

[[Fa...]]

Hi, @[or...].  My ‘two cents’ would be that if you have only been dosing your clonazepam once a day for years, and throughout your taper, I would stick with that.

For one, that is what your body is accustomed to.  Second, it is easier to taper with only one dose per day - especially at lower doses.

[[or...]]

Your 2 cents was worth way more to me @[Fa...] It makes good sense to me to keep on doing it the same.  I'm understanding more every day there is no way around the wd sxs without messing up and prolonging, maybe even derailing me from the journey.

Thanks so much, and I had just done my regular dose so I think your post was timely, and right on the mark for me, big hugs, oregonlady 

[[Ha...]]

You can do this. I’m in a bad place right now too. I refuse to give up. Where would our lives end up if we did? That’s even scarier than the current torture we’re going through. I wish you the best. Positive zen flowing your way from Ohio..

[[or...]]

Hi @[Ha...],

I won't give up, those "windows" come and go, but they are such a preview to me, of what will be.  I just keep believing that.  At 71 I feel stronger than I ever have in my life.  I know it sounds crazy to some, but I just don't think there are "mistakes" in this life.  This all has some, good purpose.  It's opened my eyes to some of the "whys" I ask myself. 

Whether it's a story, or truth, the jury is still out for me, but I can't help but think of the story of Job.  I don't recall the bible mentioning how long his trial by fire was, but for me, this whole journey has a purpose.  I don't know exactly the why of it but I can't seem to NOT have hope.  I mean I have huge mood-swings so I'm up, full of hope and even joy, and then I come crashing down.  It's a hell of a ride but something keeps me from giving up, and I guess it's that hope, oregonlady ♥️

[[Jt...]]

I'm having the same problems with tapering clonopin. I'm on .345 but my last tapers were only 3.5% per month but the symptoms came back HARD. I spoke with a professional benzo coach, and she said to just hold at same does until you fell ok again (not 100% no pain at all but well enough to continue the taper), some of us just need a longer time to taper and that's ok so just hold and slow down your taper. You need to give your body the time to adjust. There will always be another doctor or nurse that can prescribe you this medicine as the word about this drug is getting out so why rush? If you've been on this drug long enough like i have 8+ years all the damage is done anyways. So just slow down and live your life do not rush this as the process will be much smoother. 

Sending good vibes and hugs from California you got this!

[[or...]]

Thank you for this @[Jt...] I believe the same way as you.  I needed to see your message this a.m. I'm in California too, but way back when I first came across BB I still lived in my home-State, so took the name oregonlady.

I did taper again 3%, and had some worse wd start last night, but I'd held over a month and felt really stable 3 days ago, so I went for it.  Although of course I still had the tremors, but adapted to them I guess.  Got over being so embarrassed about them so I can go out and do whatever I have to do.  When I don't think about my sxs, they're actually so much better. 

Just very timely getting your reply.  Yesterday the best part of the day was when I got a reply, on another post I made, from @[Fa...].  I had struggled this whole 9 months not knowing the dif. between dose and weight of tablet.  She spelled it out for me and I could finally understand how to calculate it.  I heard in a movie once that the good things in life make the bad things not seem so bad.  True for me, oregonlady

[[Fa...]]

I agree with your assessment, @[Jt...].  

I'm glad my reply was helpful, @[or...].  You are doing a great job with your taper and listening to your body as you go.  Keep it up.  Also - no big deal, but I am male .

[[or...]]

37 minutes ago, [[F...] said:

I agree with your assessment, @[Jt...].  

I'm glad my reply was helpful, @[or...].  You are doing a great job with your taper and listening to your body as you go.  Keep it up.  Also - no big deal, but I am male .

I'm sorry about that, @[Fa...]. I thought about you this a.m. I am having increased wd sxs, got real emotional and just was remembering how much you have done for me, oregonlady

[[Fa...]]

Thank you for the kind words, @[or...].  My understanding is you just made a cut 4-5 days ago so increased symptoms would make sense.  Hang in there and keep listening to your body - you will get there. 

[[or...]]

Yes, and last time I tapered the same amount about a month before that, and sxs ramped up 3 or 4 days into it   I'll hang in there as I know now much more about the window when I hold long enough, oregonlady

 

 

[[Da...]]

On 02/01/2024 at 10:01, [[o...] said:

Does anyone understand this fear? 

Hi, I am new to the group, but from what I am seeing in all the chats, you shouldn't feel bad for posting about your symptoms here, even if you think others have it worse.  We are all on the same journey     I am not even close to a jump, but because, as much as I want off this medication, I am also terrified of losing what was part of me for 23 years.  Anticipating getting to the point I want so bad terrifies me.  I have learned though that I have great will power.  5 days ago I went from 1mg Clonazepam 2X Daily for 20 years to I mg at night (I am also on a sleep aid that has to be dealt with).  I did a 50% cut of what I felt was a large dose.  I have tons of Clonazepam here and can at anytime, relieve my symptoms, but I know the relief only lasts for a couple of hours, if at all.

As I said, I am in tolerance and Tolerance dependence is no joke bc the poison is still being ingested. I have been severe for a year - Like you, I avoid the mirror, I have not been out in public in 6 months, I do nothing all day except shake, stare at the wall, cry and pray for God to take me.  That has been consistent since June when I tried going to Rehab (Bad Idea).  I can't answer the phone, haven't seen friends, cannot deal with day to day life.  The Apathy, Anhedonia and depersonalization/derealization is horrendous at times.  I get a call that my brother was attacked and stabbed prior to Christmas, I could not get on a plane to go to him, I fact I realized I felt nothing about it...I knew I should be upset and crying.  The old me would have straped on wings and flew myself.  This hit me hard and I didn't want a life like that.  I attempted self harm but luckily I am here.  When I was released from the hospital (Oh I am way of track! but there is a point to this lol).  I asked myself,"what can it hurt, you're already in hell, you were almost gone, you're losing your husband...so basically what else do you have to lose?"  It was then I stopped the 1mg mid dose - 50 percent decrease.  I actually feel better...bc taking it gives more anxiety.  When I get to the point you are at, jumping, to help alleviate the fear, I will have a couple with me at all times.  I already know I do have that will power and if the worse should occur and I take one, then I would immediately jump back on this group.  I am looking at it kinda like AA.  A dosage or 2 will be available, should I fall off the wagon, I'll return to my sponsors.  Long Post, I guess I need sleep!  I am going to follow you post to see how it goes, please keep us updated.  Finally, if you feel your symptoms are not as bad as others, then AWESOME for you....you are on the home stretch.  Cheering you on  

Edited January 10 by [Da...]

[[Da...]]

On 03/01/2024 at 08:31, [[o...] said:

I just don't think there are "mistakes" in this life.  This all has some, good purpose.  It's opened my eyes to some of the "whys" I ask myself. 

I feel that same way.  I know that someday, the answer will be clear for me as I am sure the admins of this group must get answers to some of their "why's" as they have been on this journey themselves and they stay to help so many through it.  My husband is right in saying he simply can't help because he has not been through anything like this.  He doesn't understand how I have everything I could ever need but am living in hell.  He doesn't understand, the shame and guilt I carry. He can see what I am reduced to physically but he doesn't understand "why I just can't change it." The admins and all the members, like you who shares your story actually understand.  I thought I was totally alone in the world.  I don't know why yet, but I do believe this is happening to me for a reason.