2 years

[[st...]]

My good days are alittle better bit my bad are still unbearable. I have more bad days then good. I don't see how this is not permanent damage to my brain.  I feel like I'm in a bad acid trip. If I could distract I'd be ok but i can't do anything while in a wave. I push and try but whatever I do seems to intense my symptoms. I'm 43, no kids, no job, no friends, no hope and no desire to do anything or when I do I feel frozen or completely out of my mind and can't process things. I'm afraid I'm going to throw in the towel

[[ve...]]

I'm 43 with no kids too, and I get the bad acid trip comparison but with a nuance.  I take Mirt to sleep so I reduce overall suffering time by a full third.  I haven't still jumped but I would research for any way to reduce suffering even more.