Tapering: anxiety and depersonalization, brain fog

[[an...]]

Hi all

i have suffered from health anxiety all my life. It comes up every couple of months. Usually, I work together with a psychiatrist and use a low dose of lorazepam to keep me functional while I'm being tested for what I fear. This time, though, it all went off the rails. Lorazepam was no longer available so my psychiatrist switched me to xanax extended release. I have been taking it for about three months now, 1mg morning, 1mg evening. He said that if I sleep well, I can stop the evening dose. I did and it felt ok-ish the first days. But now, about 5 days later, I have really bad symptoms: wake up with crazy anxiety that stays all day (morning dose of xanax does nothing to help), i have complete brain fog, I feel retarded and demented, forget everything., I have intrusive thoughts, and my mood seems to switch by the second: feeling calm, but getting another wave of panic the next second. At the same time I feel completely empty and unreal, which heightens my anxiety too. My thoughts are telling me that I suffer from a degenerative brain disease like cjd. It gets worse and worse and I can see no end in sight. Could it also all be from withdrawal? Would it show this way after 3 months on 2mg?

Edited December 25, 2023 by [an...]

[[Pa...]]

Hello @[an...], welcome to BenzoBuddies,

Everything you describe sounds like benzodiazepine withdrawal and it’s very common.  Your body is most likely dependent on the drug now so you have two options, to back to your previous dose or taper off of it.  I have to warn you, if you decide to go back up in dose, its possible you’ll need to go a bit higher in dose because once our body starts experiencing symptoms, it typically takes a bit more to stabilize us. 

Whatever you decide, we’ll support your decision and help you understand what is happening to you.

Pamster

[[an...]]

Thanks for the quick reply. I had a very bad day today, anxiety soikes every couple of minutes. Now had to take 1mg lorazepam to calm down. I'm so afraid that its more than anxiety and that I'll end up a vegetable...

[[Pa...]]

What we’ve found is that once our body becomes dependent on the drug, it begins to cause the issues we went on it to address only its much more intense, anxiety, panic, insomnia and many more.  

I want to make you aware of a theory that could explain why you’re feeling this way and why you may not be able to continue working through your anxiety like you have in the past.  https://www.benzoinfo.com/kindling/

You will not end up a vegetable, we’ve all gone through this or are going through it and we can recover from this completely.  The problem is one of our most severe symptoms is fear so its even more difficult to remain calm and trust we’ll be okay. 

[[Ko...]]

This is my first post. I've been hanging around here and there since joining I guess a year ago, Wow time fly's when your having fun eh ?  Obviously I'm being sarcastic...   lol   

Pam, this really hits the nail slap on the head.   I have struggled with this same though, and I'm sure everyone else out there has as well, is this my own anxiety? 

And I always tell myself, Hek no not even close!  

I guess this is what the mind does when its going through this process. I always thought that I can just try to adjust my mindset and  get the upper hand on it, but with the fear ( which is relentless ) that is attached with the anxiety it makes this almost impossible to do.

Unfortunately when you try to use rational thought on all of this it doesn't always work or last that long.  I constantly tell myself daily that I've got this and not to pay attention to the fear which ends up distorting the whole thought process.

We must push ourselves each and every day, as hard as it is to do, it helps to build up our confidence. 

We cant let the fear paralyze us with irrational thoughts!

Easier said than done I know!!  I struggle with it daily.  

We must keep things trending in the right direction.  Momentum is the key!

 

 

  

[[Nu...]]

Agree with Pamster. This can be difficult to get in front of, but getting stable and functional is your first step.

[[Aa...]]

How are you feeling now @[an...]? I hope things have stabilized for you. What you are describing is very familiar to me. It will get better.

[[an...]]

Hey all

 

wanted to give an update: unfortunately, i'm in a much worse spot. I stayed on the 2mg xanax extended release. I did a clinic stay of 7 weeks but whenever any of the meds were changed (I was on duloxetine 30mg), I would have a big crisis. I left the clinic rather stable (still on the xanax and duloxetin), but one day after easter I started to just suffer constant anxiety waves, awful brain fog, innertinglimg, knot in stomach... the whole works. Told my doctor, he didn't know where it was from... 

In an effort to alleviate symptoms he switched me from the duloxetin to lexapro. I'm now on that and the 2mg xanax still, but feeling very very poorly. Each day I wake up with crazy anxiety, panic, racing thoughts, burning skin., stomach knots, brain fog... feeling like going crazy any second. It keeps me from doing anything and spirals out of control as the day progresses. I have frequent breakdowns where all I can do is cry for help but nothing is helping...

I'm at a mental hospital now but all they do is give me seroquel, which also doesnt help, not even 75mg...

 

Does anyone have any idea what could be wrong with me? Could it be related to the benzos?