Reinstated long acting benzo after 4.5 years free, now in taper and need advice

[[Fi...]]

Greetings fellow BBs,

 

I    have been here before after a two week rapid taper off of clonazepam.  Sadly, my symptoms got so severe I    was convinced my underlying mental health issues were the problem.  I    ended up attempting to take some medicine, which put me into a tailspin.  It was an absolute disaster...I    spent a long time inpatient and consulted with Dr. Patrician Halligan because I    was in agony.  She helped and got me a bit better, but then things took another turn for even worse when the doctor tried adding another medicine.  I    ended up having no alternative but reinstating the benzo...I    reinstated 30mg of valium per day.  It got me home, and now I    am on a new tapering journey.

 

Being home I    felt safer for a short period of time and dropped off as much valium as quickly as I     could, when I    felt unstable I    updosed until I    was comfortable and held there.  So essentially I    was able to drop down to 14mg per day and then I    began the slow taper from there.  A slow taper so I     thought...

 

I    had 2mg tablets, so I    was able to cut them in half, and quarters pretty successfully to make 0.5mg dose decreases.  I  am now down to 10.5mg per day and am suffering miserably.  I    made my last 0.5mg drop a little over two weeks ago.  I    have some physical symptoms but am overwhelmed with the mental ones...that was mostly the issue after the rapid discontinuation from clonazepam.

 

I    am so grateful this message board is still here for support, but it also saddens me because so many of us are still struggling.  My main symptoms are nerve burning, a bit of paranoia, nervousness, fatigue...I    can sleep very well, almost too much.  I    am also taking Gabapentin 900mg per day.  That was recommended by Dr. Halligan, it helps a great deal with the nerve burning but does not keep me comfortable all the time.

 

Might I     add I    have just exited a very unsafe relationship.  I    am scared...in temporary safe housing...in benzo withdrawal...have underlining mental illness and am absolutely scared out of my mind.  I    have a tremendous support system, church, professionals, and friends.  I    am going to be okay now, I    hope.

 

I    do not know what my next taper plan should be, the thought of rocking the boat like this again---I    just can't imagine finding the strength.  Definitely in a hold for now, am aware of the Ashton manual...I    was trying to follow that schedule, I    feel like I    was but honestly I    think I    need to read it again.  I    took a screen shot of the table on my phone, and I    do not remember why I    deviated from it.  But I    think I    might have to micro taper.  I    am okay once I    actually stabilize, and the weird thing is that I    am fine the first few days after the cut in dose it comes 5-6 days later I    start becoming symptomatic or if I    am stressed out.

 

Thank you everyone for reading...I    was formerly Fiercelady, and want to get strong enough to be her again.

 

Best,

Fierce 

[[pi...]]

Hello @[Fi...] and welcome back to Benzo Buddies,

You have been through so much after that fast failed taper from clonazepam. Clonazepam is a very strong benzo so it’s not surprising that the situation got so rough you reinstated.

I am very happy you are in a safe place, your personal wellbeing is of utmost importance. It’s also good that you have a support system, it can really help.

It seems like your taper from Valium has been inconsistent. Cutting too much and then updosing can confuse an already confused central nervous system. My suggestion would be to slow down, perhaps as you mentioned doing a micro taper. Additionally, Valium has such a long half life that it’s quite common for withdrawal symptoms to show up days later. It did for me.

Our knowledgeable members can help you plan a very slow taper. You might also consider holding at 10.5 mg until your body adjusts to all the dose corrections and reductions.

You’ll be that fierce lady once again, I sense strength and resolve in your words. It will take time, require patience and acceptance. You are here and we will help and support you through the process.

[[Fi...]]

Thank you for your kind words.  I    am now at 10.5mg daily, and intend on holding.  If I    did a micro taper, what would an example of that dose decrease look like?  Does anyone recommend a scale?  I    tried liquid and that was also a colassal disaster.  Seems the tablets are the only way for me.  I    have read about dissolving in milk, dissolving in water...decreasing very small amounts more often...I    guess any suggestions would be helpful at this time.  I    am so beside myself being bed ridden...its a terrible disappointment for me and I    feel like the people around me that are trying to help.

 

Best,

Fierce

[[pi...]]

@[Fi...],

It is definitely possible to taper slowly using tablets and a scale. We have members who have been successful doing this. Scales can be purchased on Amazon. I know we have members that can help you with this process. Don’t be disappointed, you can do this! I’ll see if I can direct someone to this thread to give you more detailed information.

[[ou...]]

On 02/12/2023 at 00:37, [[F...] said:

If I    did a micro taper, what would an example of that dose decrease look like?

Here's an example:

From 10.5mg reductions of 0.03mg/day until reaching 6mg then
from    6mg reductions of 0.02mg/day until reaching 1mg then
from    1mg reductions of 0.01mg/day until completely stopped.

The reductions approximate a hyperbolic pattern (https://benzobuddies.org/topic/273486-hyperbolic-tapering/). At 0.03mg/day you'd be dropping 0.42mg every 2 weeks. This is only a bit slower than your current rate of 0.5mg every 2 weeks.

 

[[Fi...]]

Thank you for the response.  The symptoms I    have when I    drop are just horrific as we all have experienced...Hyper vigilance is probably the worst one for me.  I    am so sensitive to light, sound, smell, stress...temperature is difficult to regulate...racing thoughts.  I    am getting tired of all of this now.  Had enough.

I    am going to get a scale and see if a micro taper is doable.  I    am dropping about 0.5mg monthly at this point, and am holding for now because the symptoms are so bad.  The whole fear of losing my mind is a tough one too.  Gosh, so sad all of this.

 

I    hope everyone is okay.

 

Best,

Fierce