Stuck in the middle. Is my end goal a delusion?

[[Id...]]

Hi all.

 I think I need a little (a lot) of confort. It’s been the worse day.

My history is 4 year bedridden and kindled as hell. Mostly Ativan, something similar, a little worse.

 I’ve met you and understood what to do (thanks)

In 6 weeks I was able to slowly cross switch and lower my total Ashton dose down to a quarter while regaining functionality 

Now I am on 2,5 Diazepam and 1,3 lorazepam (still a work in progress to understand if I’ll function like this)

every small adjustment up or down is a fight.

 I think I know the answer but I need to hear it from your experience;

IF I’ll still function like this would be thinkable to lower the Diazepam for as long as it takes and keep my 1 lorazepam at night like I did if needed for a couple of decades without problems before a sudden up dose?

 I know it seems trivial to ask but I came to the conclusion that in my life circumstances is almost impossible for me to fall asleep where I live without it (I know because I see that when I travel I am able to do better; I am thinking that this 2 decades of constant moving every few days were to sleep, feel better but I am not able to do it anymore and I can’t move out from my bad situation).

Thanks a lot 

Edited November 18, 2023 by [Id...]
Clarity