Best taper strategy after 27 years on benzos

[[fl...]]

Hi there, I am brand new to this forum & so glad it exists!! My situation is sort of complicated ill try to summarize it as best I can w/out making too long. I was originally prescribed Xanax which rapidly was increased to 4 mg/day. This cont for approx 10-15 yrs & I was then taken down to 3 mg/day by new provider. I didn't have any problems w this I was & still am on escitalopram for anxiety/depression. I maintained the 3 mg day dose for 26.5 yrs! I don't ever remember it causing me to feel any certain way, didn't get high or drowsy. I suppose due to tolerance but I never needed dose increase & often had pills remaining. Recent provider took me to 2.5 daily & that seems to be my breaking pt. Break thru anxiety, insomnia, nervousness, dizziness, & panic attacks returned. When going back up to 3mg symptoms subsided. As I said I never noticed a reaction when taking, but if I had gone too long w out dose I immediately had symptoms like dizziness, sweating, fear of & panic/anxiety attacks. Most recently, I had to change providers, the 1st switched me to Klonopin 3 mg day about 6 mos ago then his colleague changed it to 3 mg lorazepam bc I felt like klonopin wasn't working as well. I stayed on lorazepam for 3 mos, & ran out of prescription early due to another drug causing adverse effects that went on 10 days. She wouldn't give early refill & knowingly cut me off cold turkey. I was due for refill in 2.5 wks. She prescribed gabapentin & hydroxyzine. I was able to obtain small doses of lorazepam from friend & ERs. I guess this prevented me from w/d. Then I was dismissed from care, & script was cancelled bc I violated controlled substance policy by obtaining benzos in er where they instructed me to go.I then found someone w pressed bars of Xanax which was less than bar but did show benzos in system. For the past mo I was able to obtain about 50 blues, which I've been taking 2-3x day. I did check into hospital early October for 3 days which was technically when I went into full wd- no sleep,weakness, no appetite, rapid speech, increased hypertension, unsteadiness, hearing music, flashbacks, inability to concentrate on anything incl conversation, severe shaking/tremors. As soon as I was discharged I resumed taking the bars & obtained about 60 more blues. PLEASE NOTE: I don't recommend any part of how I handled situation. So I'm down to about 50 blues 1mg each & need to taper off that amount bc my pcp won't prescribe/taper. Please advise me on what you feel best strategy and approach to tapering would be. I'm sorry for the length, there's just extenuating factors I haven't seen on here (which is good!!) 1 more thing: hosp prescribed seroquel 200 mg @ bedtime but I normally cut it in half. It has helped some w sleep but still wake several x st night & early waking w anxiety upon waking. I'm also on 300 mg gabapentin 2xday, buspar 10 mg 2x day, hydroxyzine 50-100 mg 2x day (does nothing for me personally) I'm also on 0.1mg clonidine for BP 2x day & escitalopram 20 mg day. These were all new so irk what's causing what. I'm trying to limit to 2 mg Xanax daily but I have very high stress level & little to no support. Thank you so very much for reading as well as any suggestions you have or think would be best way for me to taper. 

[[pi...]]

Hello @[fl...] and welcome to Benzo Buddies!

Don’t worry, we are completely non judgmental here at Benzo Buddies. We understand that tough times calls for tough decisions.

Ideally, it would be best if you could find a provider willing to prescribe for you and adequate amount of benzos for a proper taper. After so many years use, it’s important to taper slowly. We generally recommend reducing no more than 5-10% every 10-14 days. Right now I don’t believe you have enough Xanax for a slow taper. 

Some of the issues you are having could be from so many changes of drugs, the nervous system wants and needs stability. Each benzo is different in terms of half life and strength. 

We’ll be happy to advise and support you through this process, we understand what you are going through. Keep asking questions, we will do our best to help.

pianogirl

[[An...]]

Wow, your situation is very complicated. Welcome to BB btw @[fl...]. What happened to you is one of the biggest fears of long-term benzo users.....being cut-off by some new, well-meaning medical provider. Many will insist that you taper rapidly off these drugs which can be quite dangerous in some situations.

I don't know your financial situation but if this were me, I would try doctor shopping with the hope of finding a more compassionate, understanding provider who will continue to prescribe to you while you attempt to slowly withdraw. That would be priority one for me. How much is the black market Xanax costing you? My biggest two fears here are getting drugs of poor quality with no, wrong, or the wrong amounts of active ingredients or being arrested by law enforcement officials for buying this way. This could potentially land you in jail and face a CT situation. If you can't find a provider, you may have to take the risk and keep getting them the way you are now until you can safely taper off. The 1st taper I would consider if I were in your shoes is the Ashton protocol, provided I could find another medical prescriber. A microtaper using a liquid titration might be something to consider if you have to use Xanax to taper and are not able to substitute Valium as described in the Ashton protocol.