Inauspicious start to Ativan taper

[[da...]]

Steve,

 

I have noticed here on BB that of those people who screw up their taper it tends to happen at the very end because they kept tapering at the same old rate rather than adjust accordingly.  Keep that in mind. Congratulations on how far you have come!

[[St...]]

Steve,

 

I have noticed here on BB that of those people who screw up their taper it tends to happen at the very end because they kept tapering at the same old rate rather than adjust accordingly.  Keep that in mind. Congratulations on how far you have come!

 

Thanks for the congrats...and the caution. I've did a lot of reading here and have read accounts of what you refer to. Sometimes I feel guilty that I'm doing so well when so many others are going through pure hell. You provided good advice when you said in your previous post, "listen to your body" and I've been doing that from the get-go. Right now my body is telling me that I'm doing great, much better than I expected up to this point so I'm going to keep charging ahead. I'm aiming to reduce to a half pill (I'll break it up into 2 doses) in a little over a week and jump 2 weeks after that but if I have to take it slower my body will tell me. And I'll listen.

[[da...]]

Sounds like a plan. Im pulling for you!

[[sh...]]

If you feel the coffee is revving up your symptoms, then maybe you should take a little break from it until you're done with your taper. I'm also glad to hear you're building your own coping skills to deal with anxiety. That is wonderful progress!

[[St...]]

Tomorrow I'm starting Round 3 and - knock on wood - the final round of my taper with a reduction to .25 mg of Ativan. If all goes well I plan to jump after 14 days.

 

[[Mi...]]

Great news, Steve.  Keep us posted on how it's going.

[[St...]]

Thanks Missy. 

 

 

[[St...]]

Well, up to today at least, this latest cut hasn't exactly been a walk in the park. I also opted to take a single half-pill (.25 mg.) instead of 2 quarters which probably will strike some here as crazy but, outside of arrogance, there was a method to my madness: I never experienced the 'interdose withdrawal' that plague so many here with short-life benzos. From back before my taper began when I was taking two .5 pills to stabilize I spaced the doses 5 hours apart (basically eliminating the bedtime dose). I was told that I should space them out further, Erik comes to mind here, and understood the reasoning but didn't have any problems taking one pill around 1 PM and the other around 6 PM. That has held true throughout the 2 week stability and the first 2 rounds of my taper. As an example of how I wasn't having interdose issues I more than once found myself, if busy doing something, looking at the clock and seeing it was well past my 1 PM and/or 6 PM "pill times." In other words, I forgot to take them on time. So, I went at least 18 hours between my 7 PM dose and the 1 PM without any problem at all for the 6 previous weeks. Besides, cutting a .5 pill into quarters was a pain in the rear.

 

Anyway, Day 1 (Monday) was without symptoms until around 8:30 PM (5 1/2 hours after my half pill) when I felt a nervous stomach and elevated heart rate at times. Most here know they are symptoms of anxiety although my thoughts/mood were fine. There's a thread in another fora here that deals with this physical anxiety. Despite these symptoms that persisted throughout the evening I slept like a baby.

 

Day 2 - Yesterday was the worst day I've had since my cold turkey crash n' burn although once again it was physical anxiety, my mind was fine. My symptoms picked up where they left off when I awakened which wasn't really a bad thing because Monday's discomfort level, while noticeable, wasn't all that bad and here I was 9 hours later and they weren't any worse. Things stayed the same and at 3 PM I took my half pill which eliminated the symptoms until around 6 PM. Then they came back, only stronger this time. What was discouraging was they started while my .25 mg. dose was supposed to still be working. The symptoms (once again physical, not mental) kept ramping up and seemed to peak around 9 PM where I'd give it a 7+ on the intensity scale. At this point I seriously considered the possibility of scrubbing the current taper and re-starting at a higher dose (3/4 of a pill, 2 doses) if things got unmanageable...but then an amazing thing happened, the jitters, butterflies, and noticeable heartbeat lessened! I won't say they went away completely but the intensity level went down to a 3 or so. Since I slept so long I was up late but once I went to bed I slept well again.

 

Today - It's 11:32 AM and I'm optimistic the worst is behind me. I woke up feeling better than when I went to bed and, while I am currently having some butterflies after my morning coffee (which I'll only give up if absolutely necessary!), I'm doing noticeably better than yesterday at this time.

 

I'll keep y'all posted ...

[[da...]]

Steve

Congratulations, but be careful this stuff frequently comes back to bite you on day3-4 afterwards.

[[St...]]

Steve

Congratulations, but be careful this stuff frequently comes back to bite you on day3-4 afterwards.

 

Thanks for the congrats. So far, so good today but I'm not getting cocky by any means...yet. 

 

One of the things I haven't mentioned which probably should be mentioned is the tapering experience hadn't been all bad or neutral. Maybe it's the larger cuts but I am feeling pretty dang good compared to mid-May thru June. My memory when taking 3 Ativan a day, in retrospect, just wasn't there. I'd throw something in the dryer and have to de-wrinkle it 47 times. I had to write a lot of stuff down back then. My anxiety was taken away, but those 3 pills also took the ability to enjoy things to their fullest extent away with it. My sleep has actually improved and is one of the reasons I was reluctant to take my second dose later than I did. Well, it's a half a pill now and I actually caught myself whistling yesterday while working in the garage. So, tapers can suck, but they also can inspire when one sees how far one has come and the even better things that lie ahead. Like wine. I miss my 1 or 2 glasses of red wine and haven't touched it since I tried to use it to combat c/t withdrawal hell. For those of you keeping score, it made things even worse.

[[Mi...]]

I'd throw something in the dryer and have to de-wrinkle it 47 times. 

 

Been there and done that 

 

So, tapers can suck, but they also can inspire when one sees how far one has come and the even better things that lie ahead. 

 

Very true.  Glad things settled down for you and you were able to stay the course

[[St...]]

Thanks Missy. Yesterday was much easier than the previous day.

[[St...]]

Just an update -

 

Doing great! After the Day 2 experience I only had one other occasion where I can actually say I felt more than "background noise" w/d symptoms and that was Day 4 early and those were nothing like Day 2's symptoms. It seems Day 2 was the apex of w/d and Day 4 the end of the adjustment period as I really haven't had any symptoms since then.

[[Mi...]]

Outstanding!

[[St...]]

I'm beginning to see why many here advocate titration when dealing with small doses of Ativan. Pill-splitting, at least for me, isn't an exact science. I'm able to use a pill-cutter and split those tiny .5 mg. Ativan pills into passable halves but there are usually instances where one half is slightly larger. Up until this round that didn't seem to be a problem as I got the required amount at the end of the day.

 

What I've done this current round is select the largest "half" I pre-cut first which means every day I'd take the largest dose remaining in my nifty little pill-box and figure the small variance in size as the days go on wouldn't be much of an issue. Well, I was wrong. The relatively symptom-free latter part of last week has been replaced by mild to moderate symptoms consisting of jitters, butterflies in my stomach, and periods of noticable heart-rate (I say noticeable because my ticker doesn't seem to be beating a million times a minute, just "harder") the last several days.

I'm already on Day 10 of this round so I'm not going to change anything now outside of trying to make sure my daily dose is as close to a half pill as possible. What I might do, knowing how such a subtle difference in dosage affects me, is make it easier on myself and add a 4th round to my taper, a daily 1/4 (0.125 mg.) dose at the conclusion of this round for a week or so.

 

After I jump I'll copy the pertinent stuff from this thread, add a few observations and post it in the 'Progress Log' fora so others, especially those that have a short history and milder dependence re:short-life benzos, can see what I went through and learned along the way.

[[Mi...]]

I'm so sorry you are starting to have s/x.  This happens often when one gets to the smaller doses.

 

I'm hoping this will be a short wave for you, and you will feel better again soon.

[[St...]]

I'm so sorry you are starting to have s/x.  This happens often when one gets to the smaller doses.

 

I'm hoping this will be a short wave for you, and you will feel better again soon.

 

Thanks Missy. I'm not really doing that bad, it's just that I got used to having no symptoms. Another thing that might be adding to my s/x is I've been taking Mucinex-D for the last several days. I took it during my previous rounds of tapering without it affecting me but it might not be a coincidence that my symptoms mimic those often caused by pseudoephedrine. It could be that, in addition to the subtle size differences in my dosage, I'm more sensitive to that "speedy" component at this stage of my taper.

[[Mi...]]

You're very brave.  I took only one dose of that stuff during my taper and it did NOT go well for me.

[[mi...]]

Be very sure you want to taper Ativan without crossing over to Valium or Librium. I tried with Ativan and failed. It's a very potent, wicked little drug with a very short half life.

[Guest [Si...]]

I would consider crossing over to Valium, Ativan can be directly tapered, but I would do what is best for you.

 

 

[[St...]]

Be very sure you want to taper Ativan without crossing over to Valium or Librium. I tried with Ativan and failed. It's a very potent, wicked little drug with a very short half life.

 

I appreciate the advice, it's certainly true that Ativan is potent and it's short half-life makes it very hard for many to do a taper but I'm kicking it's butt. I consider myself lucky that my history of usage is relatively short as this has made my tapering rather easy. The s/x I had prior to yesterday wasn't really that bad and one of the few times I actually felt a taper outside of the first few days of cutting. Yesterday my recent "wave" (I'd give it a "3" on the discomfort scale) dissipated as the day went on. It's still early but I don't feel anything s/x-wise today and it's been over 18 hours since my last dose so you can see that interdose withdrawal, the primary reason for a Valium crossover, continues to be a non-factor for me. I don't think just feeling a taper merits throwing the baby out with the bathwater at this late stage.

 

 

I would consider crossing over to Valium, Ativan can be directly tapered, but I would do what is best for you.

 

Thanks for the input. See above. I'll never quit taking benzos if I'm not prepared for and willing to accept a little discomfort from time to time. If for some reason the s/x returned and became unmanageable I'd hold at .25 mg and titrate down from there.

[[St...]]

It appears the "bump in the road" caused by taking smaller "halves" and/or Mucinex-D is behind me. The remaining .25 mg doses are all roughly the same size so I think the size variance won't be an issue. Unfortunately life doesn't hit a pause button when tapering and we have a situation where a beloved pet's health is deteriorating. Her loss would be devastating. We have a vet's appt. @ 4:20 PM today and I think any anxiety I have about that is well-placed unlike the issues I previously had which led me to take Ativan in the first place.

[[Gl...]]

Hey Steve, congrats on your progress.    I'm glad you are doing well.. for a while I was kicking ass with the withdrawals and then it came back and got me after I drank one night and I'm hoping to turn it around again.  I hope the rest of your taper goes well.

[[St...]]

Thanks GlynG. Today was a very good day.  

 

Sorry to read about your setback. If it's any consolation I also found out about that benzo/alcohol/GABA receptor thing the hard way and it's very possible that it's responsible for me shucking my c/t and joining BB. You'll be OK, just consider it a lesson learned. If you're like me you enjoy socializing and having a few drinks from time to time and I miss it myself along with a glass or two of Chianti with my wife's excellent Italian cooking. You'll be able to drink again once you lay Mr. Benzo to rest and give your body/mind time to adjust to being benzo-free. I know there's a bottle of champagne out there with my name on it.  

[[St...]]

As I told GlynG, yesterday was a very good day. No symptoms and my stragedy for handling anxiety works. While understandably nervous about the vet visit, the "old" me would have been a basket-case. When you factor in my taper and the lack of symptoms despite that nervousness it's a shot in the arm for that as well. As it turned out the vet visit was positive and things are looking good there.

 

Today so far is another symptom-free day. I originally was planning to jump after tomorrow and think I could still do that without too much discomfort but decided it wouldn't hurt to make a gentler landing and add another round of tapering - a reduction to a ¼ pill (0.125 mg.). I'll see how that goes and jump when I feel like I do now. After I jump I'll start a thread in the 'Progress Log' and summarize my journey.