Time to ask some help to stabilize :)

[[Id...]]

Before meeting you I have been on/off dangerous situations for four years. 
Thanks to your extremely kind help I understood a lot (and gaining the courage to personally interact with internet, thing that has never been in my toolbox). I am no more in such a wd to write coherently (I hope).

Situation is I am trying to stabilize switching from Ativan (all I can access to is lormetazepan, not really common and just slightly “worse” so just let me use this little analogy for everyone’s sake, mine too). To Diazepam 

 I am not able to follow precisely Ashton scheme because of reasons (ask if needed I just want to avoid writing another poem)

 I am trying to add Diazepam and switch slowly decreasing  Ativan while I proceed based on symptoms. 
To do this I more than religiously taking notes about everything even every 30 minutes if needed. 
 

Before in a good day I was taking Ativan at night and half dying 2/3 of day (more or less 14 hours after assumption). Now I try to avoid bad peaks with small doses and try as the day goes on. I don’t exaggerate in it because I can’t handle too much substance. 
 

I have tried and failed this summer too it didn’t work because apart from depression (which I can handle well) Diazepam used to make me more awake (with my story I can’t handle insomnia anymore, apart from making me not functional instantly it throws me in a state of living horror).

Now, thanks to your help, it seems that Diazepam it’s bearable. 
 

I think the question is just this… do you have opinions tips informations to give? Am I doing something wrong?

What I am doing is dyed to experience and surviving instinct guided (I did the same since I was force cted and before meeting you piercing together specialist doctors trying, except the part that was killing me, and scientific sources, just now is working I hope)

My goal is to switch conserving a little of sleep to acclimate a bit after the past hell, before tapering (to be honest I don’t know where I’ll find the strength but that is for later). 
 

It’s really important to not take not even 0.1 more; given my disgraced history I really fear everything more than a bare functionality to not be in too much stress for reducing (probably a wishful thinking but still understandable I hope)

Actually I’m around half Ambien half Diazepam (3 mg each). But it slowly fluctuate from day to day (taking notes of everything is a little help to discern between waves and effects). 
 

I try to read around advices and informations but it can be overwhelming, actually it is. A lot 
 

How many days should Diazepam take to stabilize in the system? I think around 10 but I’m not sure of too much at the moment. 
 

situation is: I sleep a bit, I wake up in horror (trauma) I have some sweet sweet sweet (did I mention sweet?) hours where I don’t function much but at least I feel alive for first time in years. Symptoms (that never leaves but I am ok with that) go south around midday. Around 4/5/6 pm I am not able to do anything nor distract myself in any way. I start just pacing in chemical induced despair worsening exponentially holding on with teeth for a couple of hours, than rinse and repeat for tomorrow. 
 

sorry for grammar, spelling and difficulties in explaining (all due to trauma).

An immense thank you. For everything

[[Id...]]

I also wonder if I shouldn’t just give up this hard switching and just dose 0.1 mg of Ativan accordingly during 24h. I would have already done that if it wasn’t for sleeping.

Then I think I would do anything not sleeping included to be close to “normal” again 

I know you don’t have THE answer, but I know you surely are more experienced than me

Also I’m sorry to bother with “simple” questions but my brain can’t endure piecing what I read here tougher