Jess's Post-Jump Journey

[[pi...]]

No @[Je...], you are the warrior, the hero here. You’ve dealt with two very difficult issues, cancer and benzo withdrawal. You deserved to celebrate the holidays without thinking about withdrawal and I’m glad you did. I’m looking so forward to reading your success story, soon!

[[Wa...]]

14 hours ago, [[J...] said:

@[Wa...] I apologize for taking so long to respond! Holidays! That's all I'm sayin'!

It's honestly hard to say if I had an uptick in symptoms as I got lower. I think some things may have gotten worse, like the tinnitus and insomnia, but so many of the withdrawal symptoms are the same as the side-effects I get from chemotherapy. I will say, though, that I never once felt like I needed to increase my dose although I did stretch a couple of my holds from what I had initially "planned". (I had a spreadsheet! Ha!)

I hope your taper is going well! Right now, I am feeling decent and am so happy to be done with my taper!!

No apologies necessary. I imagine once you’re off this stuff BB is one of the last places you want to spend time on aside from the occasional check in. Glad to hear you are doing decent and hope you had a good holiday season. My taper is going well, about half way through at this point, although I often wonder if I am going too slowly. Down to .20mg K at the moment

[[Je...]]

On 13/01/2024 at 05:18, [[p...] said:

No @[Je...], you are the warrior, the hero here. You’ve dealt with two very difficult issues, cancer and benzo withdrawal. You deserved to celebrate the holidays without thinking about withdrawal and I’m glad you did. I’m looking so forward to reading your success story, soon!

@[pi...]Thank you so much for your kind words! That means a lot! And you are not going to BELIEVE this, but last night I had my appendix removed! Good Grief! Crazy, right!?

[[Je...]]

On 13/01/2024 at 06:46, [[W...] said:

No apologies necessary. I imagine once you’re off this stuff BB is one of the last places you want to spend time on aside from the occasional check in. Glad to hear you are doing decent and hope you had a good holiday season. My taper is going well, about half way through at this point, although I often wonder if I am going too slowly. Down to .20mg K at the moment

@[Wa...] It's funny ... it's not one of the last places I want to be - the people here are amazing - it's just that I don't THINK about it! I really want to be able to share my story and offer hope! I just get so wrapped up in other things! Last night I had my appendix out! Crazy, right!? 

I am SO glad your taper is going well! Down to 0.20 mg is worth a big pat on the back in my book! And I don't know if there is too slow ... you just have to do what feels right to you. You can always go a bit more quickly and see how you feel, but if you're feeling good and this is working, honestly, I don't think I'd mess with it! Someone once told me, "It's a marathon, not a sprint" and I think that's true. I know (I know!) we can be impatient to just be DONE with it, but we can also tell ourselves that it's simply going to take some time and it's worth the wait!

Jess 

[[Pa...]]

3 hours ago, [[J...] said:

And you are not going to BELIEVE this, but last night I had my appendix removed! Good Grief! Crazy, right!?

My goodness @[Je...], what happened, are you okay?  

[[Je...]]

54 minutes ago, [[P...] said:

My goodness @[Je...], what happened, are you okay?  

@[Pa...]Yes! I'm OK! But, wow, that was painful! Ha! I'm not sure I'll ever know what caused it but there are apparently lots of things that can: bacteria, blockage ... I've been battling constipation with the chemo, so that may have contributed. And I think going off of the benzo messed with my digestion, too. (So many moving parts!) I was so lucky to catch it before it ruptured! Not the most fun way to spend a Saturday afternoon/evening, but the ER wasn't too busy, so there was that. And the surgeon was great, as was the rest of the medical team. All very kind and professional. I guess I'll be "on the bench" for about six weeks. It could be worse! Thank you for asking! 

Edited January 15 by [Je...]

[[pi...]]

9 hours ago, [[J...] said:

@[Pa...]Yes! I'm OK! But, wow, that was painful! Ha! I'm not sure I'll ever know what caused it but there are apparently lots of things that can: bacteria, blockage ... I've been battling constipation with the chemo, so that may have contributed. And I think going off of the benzo messed with my digestion, too. (So many moving parts!) I was so lucky to catch it before it ruptured! Not the most fun way to spend a Saturday afternoon/evening, but the ER wasn't too busy, so there was that. And the surgeon was great, as was the rest of the medical team. All very kind and professional. I guess I'll be "on the bench" for about six weeks. It could be worse! Thank you for asking! 

Wow, you are a trooper. I wish you good healing from the surgery. 

[[Pa...]]

I’m relieved to hear it didn’t rupture @[Je...], but darn it, your plate is full enough!

[[Je...]]

3 hours ago, [[p...] said:

Wow, you are a trooper. I wish you good healing from the surgery. 

Thank you!! 

[[Je...]]

3 hours ago, [[P...] said:

I’m relieved to hear it didn’t rupture @[Je...], but darn it, your plate is full enough!

@[Pa...]Some days I'm just like, "Really!?? What fresh new hell is this?" But I just got a call from my oncology nurse, and I get a two-week bye from chemo, so THERE is my silver lining! I'll take it!  

[[Da...]]

SO awesome to read this!!  CONGRATULATIONS

 

[[Je...]]

10 hours ago, [[D...] said:

SO awesome to read this!!  CONGRATULATIONS

@[Da...] Thank you so much! 

[[Wa...]]

On 14/01/2024 at 18:57, [[J...] said:

@[Wa...] It's funny ... it's not one of the last places I want to be - the people here are amazing - it's just that I don't THINK about it! I really want to be able to share my story and offer hope! I just get so wrapped up in other things! Last night I had my appendix out! Crazy, right!? 

I am SO glad your taper is going well! Down to 0.20 mg is worth a big pat on the back in my book! And I don't know if there is too slow ... you just have to do what feels right to you. You can always go a bit more quickly and see how you feel, but if you're feeling good and this is working, honestly, I don't think I'd mess with it! Someone once told me, "It's a marathon, not a sprint" and I think that's true. I know (I know!) we can be impatient to just be DONE with it, but we can also tell ourselves that it's simply going to take some time and it's worth the wait!

Jess 

Wow I hope your surgery went well and are recovering! I’m glad you shared your story and come back from time to time. It gives others inspiration to see a successful taper

Thanks for the encouragement. I guess I have been guilty of overthinking this quite a bit. From reading your blog you always seemed so confident in your decisions! I’m about a week into .175mg. I think my current pace is good for me, so I’ll just continue on it for now

[[Je...]]

12 hours ago, [[W...] said:

Wow I hope your surgery went well and are recovering! I’m glad you shared your story and come back from time to time. It gives others inspiration to see a successful taper

Thanks for the encouragement. I guess I have been guilty of overthinking this quite a bit. From reading your blog you always seemed so confident in your decisions! I’m about a week into .175mg. I think my current pace is good for me, so I’ll just continue on it for now

@[Wa...] I'm feeling much better, thank you! And I think it is worth mentioning that while I was in hospital, I received morphine and anesthesia and have been taking pain medication at home, and I haven't noticed any horrible sort of blow-back with regards to withdrawal symptoms. I *have* noticed an increase in my tinnitus - mostly it is louder - but that is not uncommon when taking some pain relievers.  

Your name - WarmBath - makes me smile! Right now, I would love nothing better than to soak in a hot bath! I can shower - sort of - but no baths yet and boy do I miss them! 

Hooray for 0.175 mg! Woot! And if it's a good pace, just keep on it! And I think we all overthink things at times! I did a spreadsheet with my "plan" for my taper, and then went with what felt right at the time. Sometimes I cut more quickly and sometimes held a little bit longer, but I sure liked seeing it all sort of mapped out. I'm nerdy that way. 

I think you're doing GREAT! This isn't easy! 

Jess 

[[Wa...]]

14 hours ago, [[J...] said:

@[Wa...] I'm feeling much better, thank you! And I think it is worth mentioning that while I was in hospital, I received morphine and anesthesia and have been taking pain medication at home, and I haven't noticed any horrible sort of blow-back with regards to withdrawal symptoms. I *have* noticed an increase in my tinnitus - mostly it is louder - but that is not uncommon when taking some pain relievers.  

Your name - WarmBath - makes me smile! Right now, I would love nothing better than to soak in a hot bath! I can shower - sort of - but no baths yet and boy do I miss them! 

Hooray for 0.175 mg! Woot! And if it's a good pace, just keep on it! And I think we all overthink things at times! I did a spreadsheet with my "plan" for my taper, and then went with what felt right at the time. Sometimes I cut more quickly and sometimes held a little bit longer, but I sure liked seeing it all sort of mapped out. I'm nerdy that way. 

I think you're doing GREAT! This isn't easy! 

Jess 

Glad to hear you are feeling better! You never know how those pain meds will go, kind of feels like a crapshoot.

I will take a warm bath in your honor!

Yeah, hopefully will cut to .15mg in the next week or so. I’ve done the spreadsheet thing too lol, I’m definitely a bit of a number nerd. Unfortunately my body doesn’t always agree with the plan my brain has made, but I will get there. Thanks for all of the kind words, it truly means a lot

[[Je...]]

On 22/01/2024 at 08:33, [[W...] said:

Glad to hear you are feeling better! You never know how those pain meds will go, kind of feels like a crapshoot.

I will take a warm bath in your honor!

Yeah, hopefully will cut to .15mg in the next week or so. I’ve done the spreadsheet thing too lol, I’m definitely a bit of a number nerd. Unfortunately my body doesn’t always agree with the plan my brain has made, but I will get there. Thanks for all of the kind words, it truly means a lot

@[Wa...] I hope you had a GREAT bath! I am sooooo envious! The short showers I've been taking aren't very satisfying! 

I'm kind of a number nerd, too! Ha! And my body definitely wasn't always in alignment with my spreadsheet. But I did find it helpful to look at the spreadsheet and my half-life calculations and correlate them with how I was feeling. 

I truly hope you're having a Good Day!!

[[Wa...]]

On 24/01/2024 at 19:13, [[J...] said:

@[Wa...] I hope you had a GREAT bath! I am sooooo envious! The short showers I've been taking aren't very satisfying! 

I'm kind of a number nerd, too! Ha! And my body definitely wasn't always in alignment with my spreadsheet. But I did find it helpful to look at the spreadsheet and my half-life calculations and correlate them with how I was feeling. 

I truly hope you're having a Good Day!!

Thanks, I was able to finally take one last night, thought of you! Hope your surgery recovery is still going well.

Wow half life calculations, you are a numbers nerd

I’m close to .125mg, will follow your dose reductions from there til I jump!

[[Je...]]

On 06/02/2024 at 10:32, [[W...] said:

Thanks, I was able to finally take one last night, thought of you! Hope your surgery recovery is still going well.

Wow half life calculations, you are a numbers nerd

I’m close to .125mg, will follow your dose reductions from there til I jump!

Oh, I am SO envious! I figure two more weeks and I'll be a soakin' fool! 

Yes, I am definitely a numbers nerd. I love me a good spreadsheet! I was just looking at my tapering sheets this morning and realized I am over three months out now. AND this past week I have slept well every night - well there was one night that I had some tossing and turning, but not bad - and THAT has been extremely elusive for me! (Sleeping, I mean.)  I think I may finally be past the "insomnia" part of withdrawal! I'll see how it goes this coming week, but if I get another week of good sleep, I am writing my Success Story!

Hooray for being close to 0.125mg! I hope you are feeling well and that things are going smoothly for you!