need reassurance please!

[[Ha...]]

I was on Ativan (2 mg) for probably 8 weeks and then tapered down for another 5 weeks.  I tapered like 4-5 times and each taper i experienced 1st 2 days being horrific and then gradually got better.  When i finally got down to Zero....i went through 2 horrific weeks then started to gradually get better.  I was then probably feeling like 60-65% for weeks 3 and 4.  I think i always had it in my mind that id be 100% by end of 4 weeks based on what i read on many sites.  Im now a few days past 4 weeks and yesterday had a really bad day (terrible headache and dizzy i think from the headache and today headache terrible again).  

My psychiatrist thinks im on the right path and expected it to be hard for me since each taper was so difficult.

However, my primary care this week told me its all "in my head" and i need to get over it and im 100% healthy. He then asked me if ive started a new Medication to help with my anxiety.  The truth is my anxiety was not that bad prior to starting the ativan for 8 weeks.  I started it because i had some weird vertigo called Vestibular Neuritis that kepy me dizzy for 8 weeks and the ativan seemed to calm me and help. Now im second guessing the progress that i have made and i made an appointment with my psychiatrist for Monday to discuss SSRIs to take. 

My main symptoms still remaining: Insomnia (Started the day after i stopped completely but my primary care thinks thats my anxious brain), some days i just feel off which actually is not that terrible, some days my eyes/vision weird, and some days i have headaches. 

Am I crazy, do i just continue with the path, or do i start up new meds?

[[Pa...]]

Hello @[Ha...], welcome to BenzoBuddies,

I’m so glad you found us before your appointment on Monday, we need to talk about this!  Recovery from benzodiazepine use takes a long time, even for those who only took it for a short time.  Typically, people like you who have only taken it for a few weeks can expect to recover in weeks and months, those who have taken it for months and years are looking at months and years until they recover.

What you’re feeling is recovery, not another condition, illness, or malady, at least that’s my opinion.  These symptoms are a normal part of the recovery process so I’m hoping you’ll take what you learn here with you to your appointment on Monday and make an educated decision about the need for more medications.  

Too many in the medical profession don’t understand what we go through, because not everyone does so they assign labels to us and prescribe more medications.  Your psychiatrist has it right, your taper was difficult so your recovery will be too but you’re on the right path, you’re off the medication and your brain is working to get back to normal function, but it takes time to repair the disruption the drug caused.

Does anyone know what caused your Vestibular Neuritis, have those symptoms left?  As for starting as SSRI, some members have said starting new medications and supplements can be tricky while our central nervous system is so highly sensitized, we don’t always react the way we normally would. Obviously this decision is between you and your doctor but I wanted to let you know what we’ve seen here, they can help and they can hurt and we never know how its going to go.

We’re glad you’re here, I hope we can help you find the right path for you.

Pamster

 

[[Ha...]]

@[Pa...]the ENT believes the Neuritis started just with a virus. I did do a brain MRI for a neurologist and the scan was clean. I dont have the neuritis symptoms anymore. 

Can Vitamin C bring back symptoms?  I was doing good but then my primary care had me start using Vitamin C and thats when i seemed to get a flare up. could just be coincidence. 

Also - so all in all i was on Benzos for 13x weeks in a row....so i should expect recovery in months?

My symptoms seem to change daily.  the past few days it was terrible headaches and today its weird visual stuff again.

thank you for your advice and encouragement!  

Edited October 21, 2023 by [Ha...]

[[Pa...]]

Our symptoms wax and wane, we never know how we’re going to feel from one minute to the next because our recovery isn’t linear, its so frustrating!  We also experience what we call windows and waves, windows feel wonderful, almost an absence of symptoms, then the window slams shut and we’re consumed by pain, fear and hopelessness we call waves.

Many have had unpleasant reactions to supplements, you might try asking about them here, just click join to see what others experience is with them. https://benzobuddies.org/forum/138-topics/

We can’t predict recovery time, we’re all too different, this is why we have such a broad range when discussing it.  I’m hopeful you’ll recover sooner but there is much we don’t understand, do genetics, general health, age, length of use, dose size play a role, probably but we don’t have scientific studies to back this up. 

I’m relieved to hear you’re not dealing with the Neuritis anymore, now you just need to climb out of the wreckage created by the ‘cure’.