8 months

[[de...]]

I understand!  I think you are saying that you have been symptomatic every day for 8 months.  Is that correct?  Has the intensity stayed the same?  Does it wax and wane at all?  Does it get any better in the evening?  These are important questions to ask yourself.  
 

Keeping a journal of your symptoms daily might be helpful.  It helps you look back and see that there has been improvement albeit, very small, but improvement nonetheless.  Recovery happens in minuscule increments.  Many times it is hard to see.  Also you need to look back in six month chunks.  If you just look back one month, you may not notice any changes.

Are you able to do something today that you were not able to do six months ago?  
 

Hope this helps!!!

[[Go...]]

14 hours ago, [[d...] said:

I understand!  I think you are saying that you have been symptomatic every day for 8 months.  Is that correct?  Has the intensity stayed the same?  Does it wax and wane at all?  Does it get any better in the evening?  These are important questions to ask yourself.  
 

Keeping a journal of your symptoms daily might be helpful.  It helps you look back and see that there has been improvement albeit, very small, but improvement nonetheless.  Recovery happens in minuscule increments.  Many times it is hard to see.  Also you need to look back in six month chunks.  If you just look back one month, you may not notice any changes.

Are you able to do something today that you were not able to do six months ago?  
 

Hope this helps!!!

Any time I think there is change, bad happens.  It can’t be this way for so long.  So much fear all the time.  Nobody would last!

[[de...]]

Hey there!  Yes, that is the nature of this recovery process.    You think you are healing and then your symptoms intensify, so then you think you are not getting better.   It is very confusing.   The process is completely non-linear.   Most times when healing is taking place, we get better day by day.   The trajectory is the same - upward.   This is not the case with benzo recovery.   People do last through long recoveries.   They decide that it is worth getting their life back whether it takes 6 months or 2 years.    

[[Am...]]

I am at 8 months and some change. It comes and goes for me in waves. My last does was January 18th 2023. Sometimes I feel like I am not getting better. However, it is. It really is and I hope I can send you some sort of hope. The days can be horrible, Full of panic and terror, and then I will get days of feeling okay. Please remember you will not be like this forever. 

[[Go...]]

2 hours ago, [[A...] said:

I am at 8 months and some change. It comes and goes for me in waves. My last does was January 18th 2023. Sometimes I feel like I am not getting better. However, it is. It really is and I hope I can send you some sort of hope. The days can be horrible, Full of panic and terror, and then I will get days of feeling okay. Please remember you will not be like this forever. 

So you don’t have the constant fear everyday?  Can I ask how long you were on, and what dose?

[[Am...]]

So I am brand new to the community and Do not know how to use all the quotes and everything yet... yes the fear is there. I hope you don't mind I copy and paste something from another response I made.

"So I was on Clonaepam for 12 years. My last dose was January 18th 2023. My Doctor just stopped prescribing it to me. I was on 1 mg 2x a day. I tapered myself off. I took the last refill they gave me and stretched it out over 5 months and then stopped.

I thought I was going crazy. It comes and goes. I stayed hydrated and started eating better. But the agoraphobia is real side affect. Your brain is just trying to balance itself out. You may feel like no one know what you are experiencing, but many people do. It is terrifying but please know you are going to be okay. For a long while I didn't think I was going to get better. It is almost like trial and error for my brain. I finally have learned how to trust myself when the "rebound" episodes occur for me.

You cant think straight, and reach this complete feeling of defeat. I think month 5,6,7 was so rough for me because I thought "for sure I should be better and healed" That is not the care. This is a long Journey and everyone takes different amounts of time. I just want you to know what you are going through is normal. It is terrible, and super frustrating. Month 8 has been really good for me. I have had a few episodes, but it feels like a i have turned a corner. "

 

Listen, for me the fear was a constant struggle until the end of month 7 and at month8 I feel a lot of relief. However, when I get into that panic state- which use to last days, its only hours of paranoia and fear for me. I have not had one in a while. I feel like my brain is learning and correcting itself after all these months of balancing. But when I say the terror is real, in that moment, it is for me. It will slowly decrease and be manageable. It will dissipate once you find some relief from the tunneling thoughts. 

Everyone is different. Everyone has different timelines in their wd. I was completely alone in this, so every fear that jumped into my mind was the truth(in that moment). It ended up it was all in my head. You may be scared but i hope this helps just a little bit. Because you are not going crazy. Hope the best for you!

 

[[Go...]]

That fear and panic is still there for me as I start month 9. Thanks for your info.

[[Am...]]

52 minutes ago, [[G...] said:

That fear and panic is still there for me as I start month 9. Thanks for your info.

Right now, I have that really bad anxiety and fear. I had o e little trigger and I feel rough. It comes and goes for me. But definitely feeling in the thick of it right now. Maybe you can relate to that?