Very desperate place

[[Bo...]]

Im in multiple days of 24hrs + of skayhisia insanity, sleep maybe 2-3hrs every other nighy, who knows how long.

These are getting kngger and worse for me, just legs back and forth on bed for closet floor, arms never stop back up and down side to side. Muscles and body are so locked up to even crawl now 

the no sleep and I can’t take anything bc it makes for sheer terror in s sleep state ….the rage and coming to terms with seeming im a real severe case after doing such s slow taper.
I sm on edge beyond words bc I don’t k or how to get myself under control and feel my emotion if not caring I’d very dangerous. 
I saved earthworms every animal volunteered every other wknd with kids and this All is not ok what’s haspoemkf.

I fear something is off with my brain, I had irritability snd easy to anger at points in taper but this is lack of sleep aka horror not being able to walk /pace and juts being tortured worse as time goes on.

My parents are in fear of what to do bc there are no solutions for aka and I keep being told I am a more severe case. I don’t know how to sleep so my body can rest and not then turn into throwing things , snd terrible thoughts thst are so far from who I am it’s devastating. I know intrusive thighs but this is extreme ri a scared point.

reinstatjnt won’t go well given I can’t take anything and I can’t go thru this again, 

I guess just understanding what people’s level of rage was and what on earth do I do with being so delirious and manic not in good way.

I was such a laid back again love everyone sensitive love the world and smile all the time person. My biggest fear with this was being five something yshy would change my brain snd I never wanted to hurt myself someone else or animals and yhay was what I said in forts appt with dr. 
I am pretty much feeling like my body is going to shut down from his kberwhmkmh this all is.

[[Wa...]]

Please hang in there.  I had terrible akathisia too, but it DOES go away (mine took 6 months after last dose, gradually getting better, and one day just stopped and never came back)

[[Bo...]]

@[Wa...]

thanms…. Was yours pacing or extreme wanting to explode? Or both? I seem to have both and how did you sleep? I had year + 0-2ht nights in taper snd jjsy dealt with it after meds early on in taper for sleep, then started getting broken 2-3 which I basic functioned on fine. Then this spring at low low doses I was getting my normal sleep back and then this unraveled at very end of taper. I was the best most functional me I had been when I was at low doses and thought I had really made decent progress.

Every noise everything is overstimulating and I’ve been in dark room for 8 wks and not sure how to survive this at all, it’s not like I can do tske a walk outside. This is crying in pain from having to move muscles that are so fatigued and burning calories so I’m now 98lbs horrifying. And I can’t stop the pain that causes the moving and then the internal rage and delirious having to tell myself off ledge. The stress it’s causing my family is very sickening and they just are round the clock

[Guest [...]]

Hi @[Bo...]

I’m so sorry your acute phase have been so severely debilitating. I wish there were something I could do or say that would ease your suffering, rather than just offering encouragement.

I see you are about 2 months off.

Often members express that the first few months are the worst. I know you must be feeling like this will never end, especially considering how severe your symptoms are, but the worst of it will indeed run its course, we just can’t say when. However, once that worst has passed or you begin experiencing windows, it will provide you with the proof you are looking for, that you are indeed healing. 

You have managed to get through this first 2 months, as painful as it has been, so please stay strong, you will eventually turn that corner. 💓
 

 

[[Wa...]]

On 27/09/2023 at 00:22, [[B...] said:

@[Wa...]

thanms…. Was yours pacing or extreme wanting to explode? Or both? I seem to have both and how did you sleep? I had year + 0-2ht nights in taper snd jjsy dealt with it after meds early on in taper for sleep, then started getting broken 2-3 which I basic functioned on fine. Then this spring at low low doses I was getting my normal sleep back and then this unraveled at very end of taper. I was the best most functional me I had been when I was at low doses and thought I had really made decent progress.

Every noise everything is overstimulating and I’ve been in dark room for 8 wks and not sure how to survive this at all, it’s not like I can do tske a walk outside. This is crying in pain from having to move muscles that are so fatigued and burning calories so I’m now 98lbs horrifying. And I can’t stop the pain that causes the moving and then the internal rage and delirious having to tell myself off ledge. The stress it’s causing my family is very sickening and they just are round the clock

Yes absolutely - I had everything you describe.   The best info I found on akathisia was on the ‘Inner Compass’ website - it is very reassuring.  For me, the pacing was the least of it - the sensations of inner squeezing, like a painful tickling from inside, was the worst.  I thought it would never go away - but it does, I promise.  It came and went in ‘attacks’ but is directly related to your brain balancing.  You WILL heal.   Hang in there…..

[[Wa...]]

Just now, [[W...] said:

Yes absolutely - I had everything you describe.   The best info I found on akathisia was on the ‘Inner Compass’ website - it is very reassuring.  For me, the pacing was the least of it - the sensations of inner squeezing, like a painful tickling from inside, was the worst.  I thought it would never go away - but it does, I promise.  It came and went in ‘attacks’ but is directly related to your brain balancing.  You WILL heal.   Hang in there…..

PS For me, real healing started after I took my very last dose.  

[[Bo...]]

Helpppp aka is constant now, it’s all night all day, sleep a few hours all day all night all day next day, insane wanting to rip skin off rocking and horrific screaming in my head . 
getting worse as I get further from jump 4 + wks out.

im severely debilitated as I can’t walk but few feet here and there stomach is so sick and now even more sick trying to manage this terror.

please anyone, I haven’t heard if anyone having constant yhay couldn’t take beta blocker or somehrinh to help. I can’t take any sleep anytnnnh. 
 

Edited September 30, 2023 by [Bo...]

[[Bo...]]

I have had horrific screaming throwing things no sleep delirious 36hrs at a time akathisia in dark closet bc lamp light is too much stimulation. Eyes have to be closed a lot of day and I have yelled at family and thrown things and thus is not me. I’ve said crazy stuff.

please I am begging for anyone who can offer advice. Bets blockers made it worse as did taking spec of unisom.

How does anyone go this amount of time like this, I can’t handle distraction bc can’t look at ahurnhb and I am being yanked every which way.

olease any thoughts.

[[...]]

My akathisia didn't last long and completely went away. 

Mine was like a nervous little engine running inside my belly, dead center,just below my ribs. Sometimes I'd feel it down the insides of my arms. Disgusting symptom.

It went away.

[[Si...]]

Mirtazapine?  It's used to treat aka caused by antipsychotics.  I am taking a lot of it but that was not my choice - you could try a small amount?

[[Si...]]

I scream and yell and throw things too.  It's horrific.