Is this protracted withdrawal or mental illness

[[Ju...]]

I’m a year out after seven years off and on with different benzos. I guess because of the length of time I’ve been on the benzos I’m not sure whether what experience is more withdrawal or just a re-occurrence of my depression and anxiety. Some days I have physical sensations like burning hands tinnitus and terrible balance … other days it’s all mental health and it’s so awful I cry all day and then I’ll have a very short period where I feel fine, and it all starts again. my husband is totally frustrated with me. i’ve lost my support system because we had to move away from our home and relocate. I left all my friends behind. God knows it’s not easy to make them when you’re 62 and nuts.

[[Be...]]

I'm so sorry for your suffering. You said you had an underlying history of anxiety and depression? The benzos only covered up the symptoms, it did not address or treat the issue. In fact, benzos can increase depression. You might consider a counselor plus self-help to address your underlying issues. Not having supports near you is depression too.  You also likely have some residual w/draw. If you address the former, the techniques you use could help the latter. 

It's hard for family and friends to understand and help an illness that is not visible. First thing is to get yourself together, there are self-help resources on this board, maybe find a counselor, and once you get stronger, you will be able to get out into the community to meet people?

Right here you have a support system.

[[Br...]]

At one year out it's not at all unusual to experience difficult withdrawal symptoms. I wouldn't call it protracted.   Depression and anxiety are very common withdrawal symptoms. Often withdrawal magnifies the issues that brought us to benzos in the first place.  Anxiety brought me to benzos and during withdrawal my anxiety was off the charts.  I still experience anxiety but it's way more manageable than benzo withdrawal anxiety was. As you heal I think it's likely your depression and anxiety will become less severe.  It takes time.  

[[Ju...]]

1 hour ago, [[B...] said:

I'm so sorry for your suffering. You said you had an underlying history of anxiety and depression? The benzos only covered up the symptoms, it did not address or treat the issue. In fact, benzos can increase depression. You might consider a counselor plus self-help to address your underlying issues. Not having supports near you is depression too.  You also likely have some residual w/draw. If you address the former, the techniques you use could help the latter. 

It's hard for family and friends to understand and help an illness that is not visible. First thing is to get yourself together, there are self-help resources on this board, maybe find a counselor, and once you get stronger, you will be able to get out into the community to meet people?

Right here you have a support system.

Feedback from my daughter is that I only see the negative. I guess that’s true. A lot of the time that would be depression wouldn’t it. I’m not feeling like going on any more meds at the moment so everybody’s just gonna have to live with me bitchy I guess

[[Ju...]]

1 hour ago, [[B...] said:

I'm so sorry for your suffering. You said you had an underlying history of anxiety and depression? The benzos only covered up the symptoms, it did not address or treat the issue. In fact, benzos can increase depression. You might consider a counselor plus self-help to address your underlying issues. Not having supports near you is depression too.  You also likely have some residual w/draw. If you address the former, the techniques you use could help the latter. 

It's hard for family and friends to understand and help an illness that is not visible. First thing is to get yourself together, there are self-help resources on this board, maybe find a counselor, and once you get stronger, you will be able to get out into the community to meet people?

Right here you have a support system.

I can look into a cousellor

[[Ju...]]

1 hour ago, [[B...] said:

At one year out it's not at all unusual to experience difficult withdrawal symptoms. I wouldn't call it protracted.   Depression and anxiety are very common withdrawal symptoms. Often withdrawal magnifies the issues that brought us to benzos in the first place.  Anxiety brought me to benzos and during withdrawal my anxiety was off the charts.  I still experience anxiety but it's way more manageable than benzo withdrawal anxiety was. As you heal I think it's likely your depression and anxiety will become less severe.  It takes time.  

That’s what I was thinking but my family doesn’t believe it and it shuts me down.

[[Ti...]]

i think if your symptoms are coming in the wavy pattern, then it can be more linked to the benzo withdrawal. If you are in constant anxiety and depression (no windows), then it could be a long wave or it could be anxiety and depression from before. OR a combination.  Are you in a more stressful situation? I think stress is the number one reason we fall into waves. I'm also 14 months off benzos, and still experiencing waves of mental symptoms.  I think counselling will help you have perspective as to what is happening, and also deal with acceptance of what has happened to us. It's a lot to go through, and although once we are off the drug, we want it to be over, there is still continued work to be done in dealing with the PTSD from the withdrawal experience in itself. We also seem to lose ourselves in the process, and struggling to find who we are again is a tough process. That in itself can lead to anxiety and depressive symptoms. 

 

[[Ju...]]

3 minutes ago, [[T...] said:

i think if your symptoms are coming in the wavy pattern, then it can be more linked to the benzo withdrawal. If you are in constant anxiety and depression (no windows), then it could be a long wave or it could be anxiety and depression from before. OR a combination.  Are you in a more stressful situation? I think stress is the number one reason we fall into waves. I'm also 14 months off benzos, and still experiencing waves of mental symptoms.  I think counselling will help you have perspective as to what is happening, and also deal with acceptance of what has happened to us. It's a lot to go through, and although once we are off the drug, we want it to be over, there is still continued work to be done in dealing with the PTSD from the withdrawal experience in itself. We also seem to lose ourselves in the process, and struggling to find who we are again is a tough process. That in itself can lead to anxiety and depressive symptoms. 

 

Thank you for your response. Yes it comes In waves. Sometimes the symptoms are more physical like burning hands and feet tinnitus and feeling boaty. I would much rather have that. Sometimes it’s more emotional like this. 

[[Ju...]]

I sometimes feel ok

[[gr...]]

My husband is also frustrated with me. My older daughter has cut me out of her and my grandchildren's lives. Some days I'm just so sad. But I get up, walk and try to eat well. It 's so hard sometimes. 

 

[[Ju...]]

4 minutes ago, [[g...] said:

My husband is also frustrated with me. My older daughter has cut me out of her and my grandchildren's lives. Some days I'm just so sad. But I get up, walk and try to eat well. It 's so hard sometimes. 

That’s what I’ve been doing . My new neighborhood is downtown and sketchy. I have a treadmill though. I’m sad a lot too but I do try. 

[[gr...]]

Treadmill is positive. I'm sorry your neighborhood is sketchy. I live way out in the woods, so walking is easy and quiet. Somedays I'm a lot sadder - then another day have some happy times. We have to keep going -