My 10 Fears: What are yours? A withdrawal brain on paper

[[Sw...]]

 

My Fears:

1. I am afraid of succumbing to a depression so dark and empty and hopless that I will be pushed into the fragility of such brokeness that I see suicide as my only option.

2. I am afraid my depression and lack of ability to be driven and self motivated will push my husband away, cause him to run and abandon me emotionally, and cause him to sin.

3. I am afraid my tense state of existence and agitation will harm my relationship with my daughter.

4. I am afraid my daughter will be impacted by my withdrawal and become scared, distressed, and afraid of me. 

5. I am afraid I will never get better. 

6. I am afraid I will always be unhappy.

7. I am afraid of being abandoned.

8. I am afraid I will never be able to think about anything again. I am afraid my mind will be frozen in this terror for the rest of my life. 

9. I am afraid that this is all there is for me, that my once driven and self motivated character has been abolished and I will forever be a needy, incapable, and helpless woman. 

10. I am afraid of myself. 

 

[[Fa...]]

@[Sw...]  I have learned that the statement 'I AM' is very powerful.  So, I am opting to use the word 'feel' instead.  Your #1 and #9 I feel, too.

1. I feel afraid of myself.
2. I feel afraid I will never experience a day without severe, blood curdling terror.
3. I feel afraid I will never see the world without it appearing/feeling dark, creepy, twisted.
4. I feel afraid I will never be able to relax and feel peace in my body again.
5. I feel afraid I will never complete my taper.
6. I feel afraid I will never feel joy/laugh again.
7. I feel afraid I will never experience intimacy again.
8. I feel afraid that I will have AKA for a long time to come.
9. I feel afraid for my safety.
10. I feel afraid that I am not strong enough to get through this.

...many more.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited September 24, 2023 by [Fa...]
Had to reduce my list to 10!

[[st...]]

@[Sw...]

I feel all those fears. 

                                

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited September 24, 2023 by [st...]

[[Co...]]

Me too, espeically the afraid of myself. I had self healed nerve pain and extreme fatigue at 19 within 6 months with time and rest and meditation. I went in my head a lot to escape it. In cortisone I tries to stop working to stop using my head to move into my body more to heal because my symptoms were mostly anxiety and tinnitus but now, now where do I go? I meditate to the past to survive. I try to feel how I felt a year ago before benzo but that is not healthy either. I never wanted a quick fix for my clogged ears, I never wanted a quick fix for my neurological symptoms like tinnitus, insomnia, cortisone withdrawal, I knew a quick fix did not exist. I just wanted time and some encouragement and some understanding and slower living/stress management... now I cannot go anywhere. This is so chemical and scary. This is not a normal TBI.