The Gift that Keeps Giving (Suggestions Please)

[[Mi...]]

Hi everyone,

Currently about 7 months into this journey. Things have gotten “better” but still dealing with a lot. I was able to somewhat stabilize on .5mg of Xanax, but my symptoms have sort of switched from what they once were. I am currently going through a phase where my worst symptoms are dizziness, tension headaches, panic, eyelid flutters, and bright lights (honestly at this point slightly scared of a seizure). I used to have symptoms such as Akathesia, DP/DR, serve depression and anxiety, low saliva, among others. I have also been cutting my dose very slightly, so you could say for the past month that I’ve been taking .48mgs. I’ve been trying to workout and walk, but these things have become difficult. Any advice or reassurance that I’m headed in the right direction? My current symptoms are bad, but not nearly as bad as my reinstatement days. Maybe I’m hitting some sort of tolerance withdrawal.

[[Br...]]

Hi @[Mi...],  The symptoms you describe are common withdrawal symptoms.  I don't have an answer to you as to whether tolerance withdrawal might be an issue.  Is there a time of day when your symptoms become more intense?  I ask because as you know Xanax is a short acting benzo with more of a chance of interdose withdrawal. It sometimes needs to be dosed more frequently during the day to keep blood serum levels consistent, thereby decreasing risk of interdose withdrawal.  

As far as reasons to feel encouraged, I think it's really encouraging that some of your really hard symptoms have faded away - akathisia, DP/DR, severe depression and anxiety, etc.  Those are really rough symptoms and I think it's a very clear sign of healing that they've eased up. The zig zagging path of healing is exasperating to say the least - symptoms come and go,  new ones crop up.  It's really hard to sustain hope and it has brought many of us to our knees, including me.  Just getting through the day can be a challenge.  Many of us have to learn new coping skills to get through it.

But to answer your question - I think you're heading in the right direction.  You will get there.

[[Mi...]]

@[Br...] Thanks for the response buddy. I cannot describe how great it is to have people in a community such as this and you replying here. Yes, the symptoms are most definitely worse in the mornings and between doses. I’m sure there’s some sort of an interdose withdrawal type of scenario going on here. I would like to wait to break them up until I’m on about half of what I’m currently at maybe. I feel like if I break them up now, bad things might happen. Also, it’s hard to see positives, but I swear occasionally I’ll feel good emotions that I haven’t felt in a looong time. Maybe I am very much so healing. This path is brutal. I never signed up to have a war with my mind… Just have to keep telling myself that those horrific symptoms I once had are gone which makes a massive difference. I take I guess you could say .24 in the middle of the day and .24 at night. Potentially slightly less than that.

[[pi...]]

@[Mi...],

I would say the return of good emotions is a definite sign of healing. None of us signed up for this. Are we the unlucky ones who have a challenging time withdrawing? I suppose we are, but I also define us as the lucky ones who are working towards improving our health and well-being. For myself, it was well worth the effort. You will get there too.

As @[Br...]said, Xanax is very short acting so having interdose withdrawal symptoms. It happened to me on Ativan, only I didn’t know what was happening. 

You are on the right path towards benzo freedom. Try to practice patience and acceptance, it does help.

pianogirl