18 months no benzos

[[fi...]]

Today marks 18 months since I jumped benzos.  Throught 2021 I abused the living hell out of xanax I must have taken about 1000 2mg doses in a one year time period probably averaging 6mg a day.  I once took 80 2mg bars and jumped out of a window and obliterated by leg.  I continued abusing the drug mixing in zopiclone and valium also.  I cold turkeyed back in November 2021 after a rapid taper of splitting my doses down to 1mg each then 0.5 and then 0.25 for a month and then just stopped. 

I went through hell for 5 months before reinstating back in march 2022 for 2 weeks and took zopiclone before jumping again basically reseting my progress.  So finally im at 18 months and have learned basically to ignore my symptoms.  I have had numerous doctor checkups each one saying that I am extremley healthy so I don't really get this stuff.  I guess a lot of it is anxiety but feel there has to be still something wrong with me from that much damage.

I justed wanted to post for opinions on this am I looking at another couple of years of protracted withdrawls or is it really all just mental and in your head at this point?  I honestly don't think there is anything wrong with me im just concerned after how much xanax I took at once that I basically my body will crave the drug for the next 5 years.

[[Br...]]

Hello @[fi...] - welcome to BenzoBuddies.  There is wide variation in how long it takes to recover from benzos.  It takes longer for some people than others.  There's just no way to predict.  Benzos affect so many systems in our body it can make us worry about all sorts of health issues so I'm glad you've gotten reassurance from your checkups.  Please remember people recover after all kinds of histories with benzos.  You'll find a lot of encouragement in Success Stories. https://benzobuddies.org/forum/44-success-stories/

[[pi...]]

Hello @[fi...],

Welcome to Benzo Buddies from me as well!

You came off an extremely high dose of benzos fairly quickly. Benzos make so many significant changes to the central nervous system that it can take a while to reset. 

Each person will have their own withdrawal experience so there is no way to predict the length of recovery. I was on a very low dose of benzos and it took me 16 months to heal.

The good thing is that you are ignoring the symptoms! Just let them be there and try to live your life. With time the nervous system will find balance again.

 

pianogirl