Friends - going into a 28 day private clinical residential detox on 2nd Oct and ANXIOUS. Positive stories / advice welcomed 💙

[[An...]]

Excellent perspective Pam. 👍 I suspect a minority of ppl are like you and can not taper. The inpatient detox is medically safe. They will monitor your vitals and give you drugs to prevent seizures. You have to do what you feel is right for you.

Like @[pi...] said, we are all cheering for you.

Have a great Thursday everyone.  

[[Be...]]

@[Go...] I truly wish you well and pray this is an easy ride for you!  I hope that I did not put negative thoughts in your head. If you expect a good outcome, you will have a good outcome.  

Please come back and share your experiences and help others.

You have a strong support group locally when you go in to detox, they'll be there when you get out, and I'm sure you will develop strong connections with others in detox.  We're also here for you!

[[Go...]]

On 21/09/2023 at 14:19, [[P...] said:

 

Hi @[Go...], I’m late to the conversation, but I wanted to provide my perspective.  I quit Klonopin cold turkey, I didn’t know it needed to be tapered so I was shocked by the intensity of my symptoms.   I have addiction issues and I know now I never would have been able to taper the drug. I would have taken more to make the pain go away, I don’t have the will our members do, I would have succumbed, so my only way out was complete abstinence.

Doing it this way is painful but so is tapering and for people like me, a taper is impossible and recognizing this helped me stay the course, because I knew this was the only shot I had to be free.

I don’t know you, I don’t know how strong your addiction to benzo’s is but for me, having my drug of choice available to me to stop the pain would have been too much.  I hope you use this opportunity to get clean once and for all.

 

This is a very good point. 
I have massive addiction issues so the reality of me tapering it myself, while making sense on paper, is probably just wishful thinking / delusion on my side 😬
 

But the thought of throwing it before I go in is terrifying. But maybe I just want to keep hold of SOMETHING and that’s the real subconscious reason for holding my stash.
I don’t know. I don’t trust myself.  

My only big concern about being tapered by the rehab over 3-5 weeks is that after, without a long taper, I could get brain damaged / make the likelihood of PAWS higher, from what I’ve read here and elsewhere 😬

 

[[Pa...]]

It’s good to see you being honest with yourself @[Go...], this is a very good sign and bodes well for your recovery from the behavior that has gotten you here.  

I’ve read the statements about tapering too quickly and the possibility of PAWS but lets face it, most of us suffer with long recoveries.  From what I’ve seen here, most who taper will recover 1 to 2 years after the end of their taper, I recovered 14 months after my cold turkey.  I know we can’t say with confidence that everyone who quits cold turkey will have the good fortune I did but neither can we say they won’t.  We’re all too different. 

I believe you’ll sustain an injury when you discontinue the benzodiazepine just as I did and just as those who taper do but injuries heal and we recover from them all the time, it’s the same with this. 

[[An...]]

Brain damage is very unlikely IMO. Our bodies are pretty resilient. You can get PAWS from doing a slow, drawn-out taper.

[[Go...]]

Sorry to keep on and I know no one can tell me what to do and knows exactly what will happen after the 3-5 week taper using Diaz to get off 20mg+ Diaz for 15 years.  

I have a very addictive personality. Ie been taking more benzos and subutex the closer to the 2nd Oct I get but I should be tapering.

**Edit: A new morning.  Woken up to the fact I only have 9 days left so need to get serious and start tapering subutex and benzos so have a friend coming around soon to help me throw ALL drugs apart from Diaz (which I’ve never abused) and a tiny bit of subutex to do a rapid subutex taper over the next week. Plan also to take no more than 15mg Diaz before I go in**

There seem to be 2 schools of thought (asked on Reddit too) so would love to somehow know what the general consensus is to either:

- throw my Valium stash before I go in and deal with whatever happens afterwards with no benzos (or alcohol)

OR

- keep my stash as a back up plan and try to only ever revert to it if I can’t function? Then do an Ashton taper   
or throw the stuff if I’m ok after a month  

 

sorry for the repetition. Shame we can’t do a vote on this site 😅

Edited September 23, 2023 by [Go...]

[[An...]]

Personally, I like this one better. 👇

Quote

- keep my stash as a back up plan and try to only ever revert to it if I can’t function? Then do an Ashton taper   
or throw the stuff if I’m ok after a month

 

[[Pa...]]

28 minutes ago, [[G...] said:

- throw my Valium stash before I go in and deal with whatever happens afterwards with no benzos (or alcohol)

Not ideal of course, but given the statement below, I believe its your best option.

 

30 minutes ago, [[G...] said:

I have a very addictive personality. Ie I’m taking more benzos and subutex the closer to the 2nd Oct I get but I should be tapering 🤦‍♂️ like some twisted last chance saloon …

 

[[Go...]]

10 hours ago, [[P...] said:

but given the statement below, I believe its your best option.

11 hours ago, [[G...] said:

Just edited my post above. 
It’s a new morning.  Woken up to the fact I only have 9 days left so need to get serious and start tapering subutex and benzos so have a friend coming around soon to help me throw ALL drugs apart from Diaz (which I’ve never abused) and a tiny bit of subutex to do a rapid subutex taper over the next week. Plan also to take no more than 15mg Diaz before I go in**

[[Pa...]]

Excellent decision @[Go...], this stuff is really difficult to let go of but when we finally do the freedom we feel is amazing. To not be chained to a substance, to not have every waking minute of the day centered around acquiring and using is life altering, our world expands with new opportunities and adventures.  At first it will feel foreign and empty, you’re going to miss it but I promise you, if you stay the course, life will be so much better. 

As for the amount of diazepam you intend to take, I’m glad you’re going to maintain until you enter rehab. 

[[An...]]

@[Go...] You said you will have internet access while you are there. Please try to check in daily and let us all know how things are going my friend.

 

"**following***

[[An...]]

1 hour ago, [[P...] said:

Excellent decision @[Go...], this stuff is really difficult to let go of but when we finally do the freedom we feel is amazing. To not be chained to a substance, to not have every waking minute of the day centered around acquiring and using is life altering, our world expands with new opportunities and adventures.  At first it will feel foreign and empty, you’re going to miss it but I promise you, if you stay the course, life will be so much better. 

As for the amount of diazepam you intend to take, I’m glad you’re going to maintain until you enter rehab. 

You said it perfectly Pam. 👍

[[al...]]

I've been a drug and alcohol nurse for the last 10 years.  I have literally detoxed thousands of pts from these substances including benzos. I will say that 99%  get off the benzos with the 7 day taper we gave without going through what I and all of us are going through.  It confounded me at times.  Why was I so different from the vast vast majority of these people?   But if this is your first time coming off benzos chances are very high that a 3 week taper will get you off Valium  with minimal problems going forth .  I'm just taking from a decade of experience in he field.  But there are the minority like us that have a great deal of trouble getting off a benzos. 

Your chances for success are much higher than failure.   Good luck

[[An...]]

Interesting @[al...] I have a close personal friend and former co-worker. He was on 20 mgs of valium for over 2 years. One day, he decided he wanted to quit. He stepped down from 20 to 15 to 10 to 5 to 0 in one-week increments and had virtually no withdrawal SXs. When he told me what he had done, I could not believe it.

 

Are you still a drug and alcohol nurse? How did you get stuck on benzos? I have not checked your profile to see if you have filled out a history.

[[al...]]

Gots tuck on benzos in the late 80's for sleep. W as on Clonazepam for 20 years on 8 mg/ day.  In 2012 got cold turkey at a detox with a five day taper. Went through eight months of utter hell. Found a doc who put me back on a couple mgs of K and i tapered over two years .  Was completely healed after taper and lived a normal life .  Work got stressful and began having severe insomnia . Went to doc and he prescribed Ambien . Should have known better.  Thought I could handle it zince it says it's a non benzos.  It isn't!!   Took for a month then stopped and began having scary withdrawal symptoms.  Only one month of intermittent use, so kindling is real. Now back on a Valium taper and doing this all over again.  

[[An...]]

Thanks @[al...]

I think life stressors are a major catalyst for the origin of many anxiety disorders like panic and GAD and is a major cause of insomnia.

Benzos usually help in the beginning but make things much worse in the end after you become addicted and tolerant.

Benzos are great one-off meds or if taken for very short durations.

[Guest [...]]

Hi @[Go...]

I don’t want to convince you either way… but, I think it’s very important for you have support around you once you leave the detox centre. 

The major issue with their claims of the withdrawal being over once you leave the centre is extremely flawed and based solely on the idea that once the drug has left your body the withdrawal is over. This is far from the truth, based on experience of the majority of members who have chosen to take this route. 

These doctors, more often than not, simply do not understand BIND (benzodiazepine induced neurological disfunction), or the true recovery period of between 6 - 18 months. You are a long term user, so that most likely puts you in the bracket of 12-18months to experience full recovery, although, some can take longer than this, which is considered protracted recovery.  

Many members often don’t even experience the full brunt of withdrawals until they have been discharged from the centre and returned home, by which time, the detox centre have completely wiped their hands of the patient, and the patient is left to deal with the potential fallout (severe withdrawal symptoms) at home on their own. 

If you choose to go this route, please ensure you have adequate support from family and friends in case you are unable to function (prepare meals and take care of basic tasks) as you continue to move through the early part of your recovery.  

These facilities are often well placed to withdraw patients from various different substances or medications, however, benzodiazepines are not one of these medications, as ones withdrawal and recovery timeline generally far exceeds the very short detox, which can really be only considered to be little more than a cold turkey. 

I certainly don’t want to alarm you, but we simply wouldn’t be doing you any favour by withholding the truth about withdrawing from benzodiazepines through one of these facilities, as the full brunt of such a rapid withdrawal will not generally be felt until you have returned home from the facility. 

Please know that whatever you choose, or experience, we will be here to support and encourage you through your recovery. 

WS 

 

 

[Guest [...]]

@[Go...] 

It can’t be guaranteed one way or the other, but, my sincere hope is that you are one of the lucky ones who have a relatively smooth (rapid) taper and recovery. 

[[An...]]

9 hours ago, [[W...] said:

@[Go...] 

It can’t be guaranteed one way or the other, but, my sincere hope is that you are one of the lucky ones who have a relatively smooth (rapid) taper and recovery. 

Ditto! 🤞

[[me...]]

On 21/09/2023 at 14:19, [[P...] said:

Hi @[Go...], I’m late to the conversation, but I wanted to provide my perspective.  I quit Klonopin cold turkey, I didn’t know it needed to be tapered so I was shocked by the intensity of my symptoms.   I have addiction issues and I know now I never would have been able to taper the drug. I would have taken more to make the pain go away, I don’t have the will our members do, I would have succumbed, so my only way out was complete abstinence.

Doing it this way is painful but so is tapering and for people like me, a taper is impossible and recognizing this helped me stay the course, because I knew this was the only shot I had to be free.

I don’t know you, I don’t know how strong your addiction to benzo’s is but for me, having my drug of choice available to me to stop the pain would have been too much.  I hope you use this opportunity to get clean once and for all.

Pamster may I ask what you went cold turkey with thanks

[[Go...]]

Update:

Still in rehab with 12 days to go.

the good news - it’s a life changing experience and I managed to get through (guess it’s still going) the subutex WD (hell).

The bad news - they dropped me from 25mg diazepam and were demanding I got to 0 for 3 days before I leave.
the drops were fine until the drop from  15 - 10mg. This was the same day they took me off subutex. 

I didn’t sleep for a week and finally broke on day 8 of that drop, physically, emotionally & mentally.

I cannot describe the hell of this drop and all it’s symptoms - literally every symptom in the book and I couldn’t leave bed for a couple of days so far. 
 I planned to leave at this point to get home and get my diazepam as this clearly wasn’t going to work without me going into possible psychosis and relapse onto booze (which I cannot do).

they are now finally giving me hardcore knock out sleeping meds that work (last 2 nights I’ve had 5 hours sleep as opposed to 1-3). 

the most diazepam they will give me now is 9mg. I demanded that they stop the taper but it took SO much fighting with them. Think I scared them. 

they are not set up for benzo WD. I’ve seen 1 Dr for 5 mins in 2 weeks and he told me it’s his “duty of care to me to get me to 0 before I leave.”

this is medical malpractice. The guy who did the same taper before me, who I made friends with for a few days before I left, ended up in hospital almost dying.

they are now really not happy with me as I have made it VERY clear I will not now drop another mg until I leave. 
they are “reassessing” me in 2 days but NO WAY am I dropping more. 
 

my plan now is to stay on the 9mg (they cannot force me to drop again. I’ve made that very clear to them) until I get out. Pray that I stabilise on it over the next 12 days and then get out and go back up to about 12mg and Ashton taper from that over a period of months.

in short, I dropped from 25mg - 9mg in 16 days (as well as a rapid week subutex taper) and if I’d let them carry on, my sanity and therefore possibly my life would have been in danger….

28 day rehab is NOT for benzos. 
Thank God I didn’t throw my stash at home!

[[Fa...]]

@[Go...]  Thank you for letting us know your progress.  I do hope you have been able to find some stabilization at the 9mg.  Please keep us posted.  I am sending much healing your way, and I do hope you are being treated well.  While not having come off completely, you have made a big dent.

Wishing you only the very best.

Warmly,

F

[[Be...]]

@[Go...]So sorry you have experienced this hell. Yes, benzos, like ETOH, have to be slowly tapered. Period. Keeping that stash was smart!  The only good thing, maybe, is that you have cut down a lot. Now, you can get out, stabilize and do a slow taper that will not put you through the hell you have unfortunately experienced. You gave it a good try- vey brave of you.

[[me...]]

On 22/09/2023 at 20:43, [[P...] said:

It’s good to see you being honest with yourself @[Go...], this is a very good sign and bodes well for your recovery from the behavior that has gotten you here.  

I’ve read the statements about tapering too quickly and the possibility of PAWS but lets face it, most of us suffer with long recoveries.  From what I’ve seen here, most who taper will recover 1 to 2 years after the end of their taper, I recovered 14 months after my cold turkey.  I know we can’t say with confidence that everyone who quits cold turkey will have the good fortune I did but neither can we say they won’t.  We’re all too different. 

I believe you’ll sustain an injury when you discontinue the benzodiazepine just as I did and just as those who taper do but injuries heal and we recover from them all the time, it’s the same with this. 

Pamster how did you come during c/t and recovery of 14 months could you function alright  

Thanks🙏

[[Pa...]]

43 minutes ago, [[m...] said:

Pamster how did you come during c/t and recovery of 14 months could you function alright  

Thanks🙏

I functioned well enough to be return to work 3 weeks after my cold turkey.