Friends - going into a 28 day private clinical residential detox on 2nd Oct and ANXIOUS. Positive stories / advice welcomed 💙

[[Go...]]

 

Am going to a private inpatient detox in the UK on 2nd Oct. Already paid. 

 

Been on about roughly 10-20mg equivalent of Diaz daily for 15 years and am on 2mg subutex which I’m now tapering (and I have alcohol issues). 

 

They plan to get me off it all with just Diaz plus prn comfort meds in 3 weeks and the final week I will be on nothing and leave with no WD after 28 days?!

 

Although I could potentially break the bank and pay for another 2 weeks if I’m not stable 😬

 

They will cover all substances with an aggressive Diaz taper, probs starting at 30-40mg,  that will be assessed every 2 days and I’ll be in the decision process of the speed of the taper with them. So I will have  some control on the speed  

 

They say they have loads of prn comfort meds. Beta blockers etc etc. 

 

Skeptical and anxious but if this is true that they can get me off with no subsequent WD, then I’m all in!

 

But I am very anxious this is all too fast so am debating whether to keep my large stash of diazepam at home rather than throwing it before I go in as ‘insurance’. Sure this isn’t ‘addict’ thinking as I never really abused benzos, just the other stuff. BUT I also can’t really trust myself.  

 

Will throw all my opes and other drugs before I go in. 

 

But it’s EXPENSIVE so no point me keeping temptation around by keeping the Diaz here, if they can actually get me clean and feeling human in that timescale. 

 

BUT also don’t want to be in such a state when I leave that I replapse onto alcohol or harder gear which I CANNOT do. 

 

So I’m in a dilemma and have 2 questions:

 

1. Is such a rapid detox (3-5 weeks) possible with 24/7 clinical support and also without the risk of PAWS?  

 

2. Should I keep my diaz supply at home and not throw it (will throw everything else before I go in) as insurance in case this doesn’t work, like they assure me it will?

Ie if I am in trouble after I get home, I will do an Ashton manual taper on my own rather than losing it and seriously relapsing?
Or is that just too risky…..? Ie is that just my addict brain talking and I should throw everything before I go?

 

The good news is I don’t need to work for a few months so no massive external or home stresses. Have the time to focus on me. 

 

And (controversial I know) I have found God and got a Christian support network tightly around me for when I come out. Bless them!

Then we will be starting the spiritual work. Am doing a Christian version of the 12 steps. 

 

Been in rehab before about 9 years ago and wasn’t ready. Tried to convince them all I didn’t need to be in there 😂😂😂

 

This time I am ONE HUNDRED % committed 🙏🏻

 

 

[[de...]]

 

Great to hear that you are committed to discontinuing your benzo use!!!    I will try to answer your questions.

1.  A rapid detox is never recommended for benzodiazepine withdrawal.  It can be very dangerous and have serious consequences.  3-5 weeks is very fast.   It sounds like you might be detoxed from alcohol while you are there as well, and that could further complicate your situation.   It seems like you are anxious to get off the benzos, but I am concerned that you are setting yourself up for a very difficult situation.

Do you have a doctor that has been prescribing your diazepam?  If so, have you talked to them about how you should withdrawal from benzos?

I am not sure about the UK, but in the States most detox facilities are completely unaware of how some people can have a very difficult time coming off benzos.   The statement below sounds too good to be true!   This sounds like they are planning on detoxing you from alcohol using diazepam, and then going to taper the Diazepam very quickly.  Am I reading that correctly?

3 hours ago, [[G...] said:

They will cover all substances with an aggressive Diaz taper, probs starting at 30-40mg,  that will be assessed every 2 days and I’ll be in the decision process of the speed of the taper with them. So I will have  some control on the speed

Hopefully, others will reach out to you with their thoughts!

[[Go...]]

1 hour ago, [[d...] said:

Great to hear that you are committed to discontinuing your benzo use!!!    I will try to answer your questions.

1.  A rapid detox is never recommended for benzodiazepine withdrawal.  It can be very dangerous and have serious consequences.  3-5 weeks is very fast.   It sounds like you might be detoxed from alcohol while you are there as well, and that could further complicate your situation.   It seems like you are anxious to get off the benzos, but I am concerned that you are setting yourself up for a very difficult situation.

Do you have a doctor that has been prescribing your diazepam?  If so, have you talked to them about how you should withdrawal from benzos?

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. I’m panicking. 
My pastor is getting angry with me and saying I should put all my trust in the rehab clinical team and God and my anxiety is solely  my ‘addict talking’. 
he got off crack and heroin in a week. Great. But I’ve never done those drugs and he knows nothing of benzos. 
 

No I do not have a Dr. All my benzos for 15 years have been obtained without prescription…

 

sorry this is my first time on the site so don’t know how to reply properly. 
 

to your question below: they are planning to detox me from buprenorphine, alcohol AND benzos solely by a rapid diazepam taper and prn meds…

 

this is costing me a fortune but as I say I’m anxious about the benzo taper (not really about the alcohol or opioid WD as I’m on ‘low’ doses…)  

 

As I don’t have a Dr, or access to one, my question is should I keep my supply of diazepam (I have a lot) for when I come out in case the rapid taper is too good to be true?

Then I’m left on my own doing a diazepam taper with no idea of the starting dose. 
If I have WDs, I’ll follow the Ashton manual with a starting dose as low as I can to stop any WD. Ie I’d hope about 5-7.5mg of diazepam. 

1 hour ago, [[d...] said:

I am not sure about the UK, but in the States most detox facilities are completely unaware of how some people can have a very difficult time coming off benzos.   The statement below sounds too good to be true!   This sounds like they are planning on detoxing you from alcohol using diazepam, and then going to taper the Diazepam very quickly.  Am I reading that correctly?

Hopefully, others will reach out to you with their thoughts!

Edited September 20, 2023 by [Go...]

[[pi...]]

I echo what @[de...] said, rapid detox is very hard on the system. Add to that the fact that you are detoxing more drug. 

I’m happy you are committed to being drug free but this is a rough way to get there. 

I also don’t have knowledge about facilities in the UK, hopefully someone will weigh in on that aspect.

As far as retaining the diazepam supply you have, that’s a difficult decision. Since you don’t have a doctor to prescribe for you, reinstating and tapering would be hard to do without your supply. On the other hand, just having it there could be tempting, I wasn’t well at 5-6 weeks, not by a long shot. I tapered off a pretty low dose but remember wondering if I took the medication, if I would feel better. I could not, because I disposed of all of it following the completion of my taper.

I hope someone who has gone through a detox will offer their experience.

pianogirl 

[[Be...]]

6 hours ago, [[G...] said:

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. I’m panicking. 
My pastor is getting angry with me and saying I should put all my trust in the rehab clinical team and God and my anxiety is solely  my ‘addict talking’. 
he got off crack and heroin in a week. Great. But I’ve never done those drugs and he knows nothing of benzos. 
 

No I do not have a Dr. All my benzos for 15 years have been obtained without prescription…

sorry this is my first time on the site so don’t know how to reply properly. 
 

to your question below: they are planning to detox me from buprenorphine, alcohol AND benzos solely by a rapid diazepam taper and prn meds…

this is costing me a fortune but as I say I’m anxious about the benzo taper (not really about the alcohol or opioid WD as I’m on ‘low’ doses…)  

As I don’t have a Dr, or access to one, my question is should I keep my supply of diazepam (I have a lot) for when I come out in case the rapid taper is too good to be true?

Hi @[Go...], I agree w/ @[de...]- it is not recommended to rapidly taper a benzo for many reasons. Please research this site and read the Ashton manual, if you have not already. Coming off a benzo is nothing like coming off an opioid.  Those can be CT'd with only some flu-like symptoms for a week. They engage the dopamine transmitter sites, but the benzos engage the GABA sites which strongly effect your emotions and entire autonomic nervous system, much more than dopamine, based in part on the drug's affinity for the sites and the cascading effects of engaging GABA.
Anyway, the drugs have a strong affinity for the sites and the upregulation of the receptor sites takes time to restore to pre-benzo use. Accordingly, the w/drwal from benzo takes weeks to months. It will not be like recovery from an opioid, or even nicotine. Some long-time uses report that it take a year for receptor sites to be restored. In the interim, there is discomfort. Will your rehab prescribe comfort meds during that period of your healing? You will likely not be healed upon discharge. That will only be the beginning of withdrawal due to the drug's half-life and the duration use.

Based on your dose and length of use, your taper should be more than a few weeks. A dose like that should be tapered at least 6 months or longer to prevent serious w/drawal during taper and reduce the risk of PAWS.  

Can you find a doctor to prescribe a taper that is similar to the Ashton manual, or at least more than 6 months?  This is especially important since you are stopping more than 1 drug.  Remember that valium has a very long half- life, over 40 hours. I can understand coming off of the Subutex and ETOH, but to come off of ETOH and a benzo in such a short time is confusing. Usually benzos are used to w/drawl people from ETOH.

If you go the detox route, have a back-up plan, such as a doctor who will work w/ you to taper the valium. 

For reference:  I was ordered Xanax for sleep, I took about .5mg to .75mg at bedtime. In the past 4 months I tapered down to .25mg w/ little problem. 1 mg of Xanax is roughly equivalent to 10 mg of valium. 

 

[[Go...]]

1 hour ago, [[B...] said:

Hi @[Go...], I agree w/ @[de...]- it is not recommended to rapidly taper a benzo for many reasons. Please research this site and read the Ashton manual, if you have not already. Coming off a benzo is nothing like coming off an opioid.  Those can be CT'd with only some flu-like symptoms for a week. They engage the dopamine transmitter sites, but the benzos engage the GABA sites which strongly effect your emotions and entire autonomic nervous system, much more than dopamine, based in part on the drug's affinity for the sites and the cascading effects of engaging GABA.
Anyway, the drugs have a strong affinity for the sites and the upregulation of the receptor sites takes time to restore to pre-benzo use. Accordingly, the w/drwal from benzo takes weeks to months. It will not be like recovery from an opioid, or even nicotine. Some long-time uses report that it take a year for receptor sites to be restored. In the interim, there is discomfort. Will your rehab prescribe comfort meds during that period of your healing? You will likely not be healed upon discharge. That will only be the beginning of withdrawal due to the drug's half-life and the duration use.

Based on your dose and length of use, your taper should be more than a few weeks. A dose like that should be tapered at least 6 months or longer to prevent serious w/drawal during taper and reduce the risk of PAWS.  

Can you find a doctor to prescribe a taper that is similar to the Ashton manual, or at least more than 6 months?  This is especially important since you are stopping more than 1 drug.  Remember that valium has a very long half- life, over 40 hours. I can understand coming off of the Subutex and ETOH, but to come off of ETOH and a benzo in such a short time is confusing. Usually benzos are used to w/drawl people from ETOH.

If you go the detox route, have a back-up plan, such as a doctor who will work w/ you to taper the valium. 

For reference:  I was ordered Xanax for sleep, I took about .5mg to .75mg at bedtime. In the past 4 months I tapered down to .25mg w/ little problem. 1 mg of Xanax is roughly equivalent to 10 mg of valium. 

Thank you for your advice. 
I now realise what I have been offered and I’ve paid for is probably too good to be true. So am now trying to find a Dr who will prescribe me when I get out for a slow taper over months. Ie I now realise I need a backup plan. 
 

I will be ringing 2 places tmrw. 1 being the rehab.  
If they can’t help post release from detox, I’ll have to taper myself which is far from ideal but I have the will to do it without abusing it. I hope…
 

Yes I am well versed with the Ashton manual. 

Edited September 20, 2023 by [Go...]

[[de...]]

Here is another thing to consider.     They are most likely going to want you to be completely off the benzo when you leave the detox facility.   Then if you try to reinstate your benzo after you get home there is a chance that it may not be effective.    

[[Be...]]

3 hours ago, [[G...] said:

Thank you for your advice. 
I now realise what I have been offered and I’ve paid for is probably too good to be true. So am now trying to find a Dr who will prescribe me when I get out for a slow taper over months. Ie I now realise I need a backup plan. 
 

I will be ringing 2 places tmrw. 1 being the rehab.  
If they can’t help post release from detox, I’ll have to taper myself which is far from ideal but I have the will to do it without abusing it. I hope…
 

Yes I am well versed with the Ashton manual. 

I wish you the best.  A short, rapid taper of just the Subutex would be manageable, but all 3 are a lot. 

It sounds like you are determined to quit, and that is what's important.  Have you thought about NA or AA to help support you, together with this great group?

 

[[An...]]

I hope it helps you @[Go...]. I also agree with what the others said about rapid benzo detoxes and one month is rapid. I am in the USA. In 2006, I went into one. I was there for almost a month. I had a very good job and excellent health insurance. I was also assured by the detox facility that they could help me get off klonopin and the detox would be very comfortable. Nothing was further from the truth. I was much worse after than I was before. They gave me a little klonopin on day 1, a little less on day 2, a little less on day 3 and on day 4, none. I was then put on a cocktail of other psychiatric meds to try to mitigate essentially the benzo CT. I will not go into the details of my personal experience bc I do not want to scare or discourage you.  Maybe, you will have a positive experience🤞 . Hopefully, you will also have internet access and can communicate with BB each day about how things are going. They confiscated my phone and I had no access to a computer with internet capability while I was there.

 

Good luck my friend but personally, I will never do inpatient detox again. Don't get me wrong. They really want to help you. These places are also businesses in the USA and they all want to make money so they tell you what you want to hear. I was really sick and desperate during this time in my life and when the intake guy told me we get ppl painlessly off benzos all the time with minimal discomfort, I wanted so bad to believe him and it was music to my ears, but a little voice in my head was also saying this can't be possible, bc I was so sick and how could they fix this so quickly after being on benzos over 18 years.

[[An...]]

Quote

But I am very anxious this is all too fast so am debating whether to keep my large stash of diazepam at home rather than throwing it before I go in as ‘insurance’. Sure this isn’t ‘addict’ thinking as I never really abused benzos, just the other stuff. BUT I also can’t really trust myself.

I can not tell you what to do. I can tell you what I would personally do now in hindsight of my 2006 experience. I would not throw my stash of valium away at this point. If you are stable and doing ok after discharge, you will not want to touch/take it. Most of us want off this stuff so bad anyway.

Best of luck my friend and please keep us all updated.

 

 

[[Go...]]

1 hour ago, [[B...] said:

wish you the best.  A short, rapid taper of just the Subutex would be manageable, but all 3 are a lot. 

It sounds like you are determined to quit, and that is what's important.  Have you thought about NA or AA to help support you, together with this great group?

Thank you. I have a Christian support  groups with people like me who have recovered / are recovering and a pastor who deals with addictions who I speak to every day and getting more groups lined up 😅

Think I may be staying at the pastors when I get out. 

Edited September 21, 2023 by [Go...]

[[Go...]]

33 minutes ago, [[A...] said:

I hope it helps you @[Go...]. I also agree with what the others said about rapid benzo detoxes and one month is rapid. I am in the USA. In 2006, I went into one. I was there for almost a month. I had a very good job and excellent health insurance. I was also assured by the detox facility that they could help me get off klonopin and the detox would be very comfortable. Nothing was further from the truth. I was much worse after than I was before. They gave me a little klonopin on day 1, a little less on day 2, a little less on day 3 and on day 4, none. I was then put on a cocktail of other psychiatric meds to try to mitigate essentially the benzo CT. I will not go into the details of my personal experience bc I do not want to scare or discourage you.  Maybe, you will have a positive experience🤞 . Hopefully, you will also have internet access and can communicate with BB each day about how things are going. They confiscated my phone and I had no access to a computer with internet capability while I was there.

Good luck my friend but personally, I will never do inpatient detox again. Don't get me wrong. They really want to help you. These places are also businesses in the USA and they all want to make money so they tell you what you want to hear. I was really sick and desperate during this time in my life and when the intake guy told me we get ppl painlessly off benzos all the time with minimal discomfort, I wanted so bad to believe him and it was music to my ears, but a little voice in my head was also saying this can't be possible, bc I was so sick and how could they fix this so quickly after being on benzos over 18 years.

Their plan is to give me diazepam for 3 weeks then a week off and make sure I leave with no WD on week 4. Or possibly extend another 2 weeks.

but I agree, I also wanted to believe them. It’s a business here too. I’m paying £12,000. 

I am allowed my phone and laptop. 

Did you manage to stay off when you came out?

how were you after the month?
 

[[Go...]]

28 minutes ago, [[A...] said:

I can not tell you what to do. I can tell you what I would personally do now in hindsight of my 2006 experience. I would not throw my stash of valium away at this point. If you are stable and doing ok after discharge, you will not want to touch/take it. Most of us want off this stuff so bad anyway.

Best of luck my friend and please keep us all updated.

Thank you for your kind wishes. 
And yeah, I guess I need to keep my stash here as you are right. If I’m ‘ok’ then the last thing I want to do is take it. I’ll give it some time to make sure I’m fully ok then gladly throw the whole lot.  

[[Go...]]

1 hour ago, [[d...] said:

Here is another thing to consider.     They are most likely going to want you to be completely off the benzo when you leave the detox facility.   Then if you try to reinstate your benzo after you get home there is a chance that it may not be effective.

Yeah I will be clean. They plan to give me diazepam for 3 weeks then the last week clean then out. 
 

what do you mean it may not be effective?

Edited September 21, 2023 by [Go...]

[[An...]]

13 minutes ago, [[G...] said:

Their plan is to give me diazepam for 3 weeks then a week off and make sure I leave with no WD on week 4. Or possibly extend another 2 weeks.

but I agree, I also wanted to believe them. It’s a business here too. I’m paying £12,000. 

I am allowed my phone and laptop. 

Did you manage to stay off when you came out?

how were you after the month?
 

Unfortunately, I had to reinstate. I did not go back on klonopin tho. I asked my PCP to put me on valium after I was discharged. After a month, I was worse. In hindsight, they should have put me on valium immediately, try to get me stable, and then slowly reduce the valium but they did not do that. They simply took me off the klonopin on day 4. I think your experience will go a lot better than mine after reading your initial post. It sounds like you will have much more control than what I had. 

[[...]]

Dude, continue the slow taper. 

What about holding at the current level of benzo.

Methodically taper off the alcohol 100 percent. Wait a bit then continue the benzo taper.

You have to conquer the thoughts of never using either in the future. Or you'll never be free. Get rid of the booze and you'll be able to get the right mindset.

Alcohol you crave, benzos is more to just not feel awful without. So alcohol first, benzos will curb the cravings. Then the  benzos slowly and hang on for the ride.

A fast taper is crazy with all the data out there. You might get lucky. You might just waste alot of money and be back to square one.

Your choice, but I still haven't seen a good inpatient withdrawal story with benzos.

When I jumped from the benzos after a long taper, the acute didn't hit me for three more weeks.

Where will the in house people be if that happens to you.

Just an opinion. Keep reading more before you do the inhouse.

Best of luck to you.

Edited September 21, 2023 by [...]
Spelling

[[An...]]

I agree with what EVN said. Please give this decision careful consideration. Have you already paid them in advance? You may have a positive outcome but most ppl do not IMO. I know you want off benzos. We all do but the best way IMHO is doing the 10% or little less cuts that BB recommend approx. 2 weeks apart.  

[[Go...]]

1 hour ago, [[A...] said:

Have you already paid them in advance? Y

Yes. It’s too late now as no refund. So I AM going. 
 

I’ve gotta stop panicking. 
It will be great to get me detoxed off the booze and opes. 
 

Re. the benzos, I may get lucky with their protocol. But realise now I cannot rely on that at all. So am keeping my stash of diazepam here as a back up (I have enough for months of tapering) but am going to throw all other benzos  I have like Xanax etc.

And throw ALL other drugs I have in the house.
Diazepam was the daily one that I never really abused.
Xanax, temazepam and nitrazepam were just used occasionally for sleep.   

And in the meantime try to find myself a prescribing Dr so I can also throw my diazepam stash.
I have 2 possible options for that but can’t rely on it yet.
So my diazepam is going nowhere atm. It’s not like I’m going to abuse it. I never really have and it does nothing for me apart from stopping me go mad and shake etc. And I want to be OFF the crap so if that’s my only back up option, so be it. 
If I start losing my mind when I get out, I will find the lowest dose of diazepam to hold me then follow the Ashton manual from there. 
 

There’s nothing more I can do. So that’s the plan 😬😅😬

I am 100% committed to stopping everything for good. So now is my time 🙏🏻

At 51, long ever due!

[[Go...]]

Edited September 21, 2023 by [Go...]

[[An...]]

1 hour ago, [[G...] said:

Yes. It’s too late now as no refund. So I AM going. 
 

I’ve gotta stop panicking. 
It will be great to get me detoxed off the booze and opes. 
 

Re. the benzos, I may get lucky with their protocol. But realise now I cannot rely on that at all. So am keeping my stash of diazepam here as a back up (I have enough for months of tapering) but am going to throw all other benzos  I have like Xanax etc.

And throw ALL other drugs I have in the house.
Diazepam was the daily one that I never really abused.
Xanax, temazepam and nitrazepam were just used occasionally for sleep.   

And in the meantime try to find myself a prescribing Dr so I can also throw my diazepam stash.
I have 2 possible options for that but can’t rely on it yet.
So my diazepam is going nowhere atm. It’s not like I’m going to abuse it. I never really have and it does nothing for me apart from stopping me go mad and shake etc. And I want to be OFF the crap so if that’s my only back up option, so be it. 
If I start losing my mind when I get out, I will find the lowest dose of diazepam to hold me then follow the Ashton manual from there. 
 

There’s nothing more I can do. So that’s the plan 😬😅😬

I am 100% committed to stopping everything for good. So now is my time 🙏🏻

At 51, long ever due!

Good luck @[Go...]. We are all rooting for you. Please keep us updated on your progress. 

Edited September 21, 2023 by [An...]
Asked a question that was already answered by OP.

[[be...]]

@[Go...] I wish you well, and hope that everything turns out well for you, such wonderful caring advice from buddies here for you. Stay Strong.

💖Peace and Healing.

[[...]]

Good luck and best wishes to you Golbstar.

[[Go...]]

1 hour ago, [[b...] said:

such wonderful caring advice from buddies here for you

Indeed. 
AMAZING!!!!!!

Thank you all so much for being so supporting. Every one who’s replied 🙏🏻

@[de...]

@[pi...]

@[Be...]

@[An...]

@[...]

@[be...]

thank you all so much! 💙

I hope when I’m out the other side - either completely clean or having to do a slow taper (on hopefully a much lower dose) as per the Ashton manual - that I’ll also be able to give people help and advice. 
Just speaking to people who understand is a massive help as no one on the outside, including the ‘professionals’ seems to get it as it’s not a ‘hard drug’ 🤦‍♂️🙄

 

[[pi...]]

We’re pulling for you @[Go...]! You have made a decision to improve your life and you are well aware of what you are facing. Know that your buddies here are sending their love and encouragement! 

[[Pa...]]

Hi @[Go...], I’m late to the conversation, but I wanted to provide my perspective.  I quit Klonopin cold turkey, I didn’t know it needed to be tapered so I was shocked by the intensity of my symptoms.   I have addiction issues and I know now I never would have been able to taper the drug. I would have taken more to make the pain go away, I don’t have the will our members do, I would have succumbed, so my only way out was complete abstinence.

Doing it this way is painful but so is tapering and for people like me, a taper is impossible and recognizing this helped me stay the course, because I knew this was the only shot I had to be free.

I don’t know you, I don’t know how strong your addiction to benzo’s is but for me, having my drug of choice available to me to stop the pain would have been too much.  I hope you use this opportunity to get clean once and for all.