Stress and protracted life

[[Ti...]]

Anyone else finding it hard when to and when to not push or test your stress limit. I am experiencing another wave of symptoms and I’m 14 months benzo free.  
 

looking to hear other people’s experience with how stress has triggered waves after they’ve been off benzos 

 

is this normal.  I need reassurance today 

[[gr...]]

I had a horrible conversation with my oldest daughter yesterday. She said some pretty awful things to me. It hurt. Bad. But I didn't react immediately to her story and now am processing how I can respond, if at all. When I was controlled by K, I just blurted out whatever. Now I truly think before I talk. Some financial stress also, but again, I process it, instead of react and then take a pill to sleep. Slept too much. 

[[be...]]

3 hours ago, [[g...] said:

I had a horrible conversation with my oldest daughter yesterday. She said some pretty awful things to me. It hurt. Bad. But I didn't react immediately to her story and now am processing how I can respond, if at all. When I was controlled by K, I just blurted out whatever. Now I truly think before I talk. Some financial stress also, but again, I process it, instead of react and then take a pill to sleep. Slept too much. 

"Now I truly think before I talk" 

Edited September 14, 2023 by [be...]
forgot word

[[Es...]]

@[gr...]

It’s good not to succumb to emotional flooding. You just take a step back from the situation, long enough for the emotions to cool down. Motherhood must be an extremely difficult task. I’m only Mother to my 12 years old Kitty. She can throw a tantrum all right😆

Finances are always an issue, especially for young girls who like to keep up with their peers. By taking a sleeping pill, you only hurt yourself. BZD cause disinhibition and we can say lots of things we later regret. There is also benzo rage etc.

However, the BZD WD also makes us highly emotional and no one really understands. Yes, it’s best to “pause and plan“. Take yourself away from the situation in order to reflect on it.

Try to see the other person’s point of view. My own Mother likes to ramp up the situation to the extreme, though she’s not on pills. She rather has an addiction to anger. She and Father are constantly at each other’s throats, but she provokes him. This is how they function as a team. Lots of adrenaline and cortisol...

My marriage was very peaceful. I hate argument and conflict. He’s got a thing for me still, but I barely can live with myself. Aggressive people are so scary. Have you read “Emotional Intelligence“ by Daniel Goleman, Ph. D.? A very helpful book. EQ matters more than IQ, actually.

Practicing deep breathing exercises and mindfulness meditation also works wonders. The key is consistency. @[Ti...] I guess some of this information could be useful to you as well.

Take care, guys

Paula

[[Ho...]]

Hi Tikvah,

I'm just over 12 months and very fragile regarding stress. I had a small disagreement with my daughter a few months ago; just when I had started to feel well again. It was definitely my fault (I cut her son's hair without her permission) but at the time, I thought I was helping out. It really threw me and I wasn't in good shape for a while after that.

I try to avoid bad stress, but not good stress. Bad stress is arguing, money trouble, worrying about the future or something else I can't control. Good stress is being asked to come over for dinner, or for a walk or something like that. I try to say yes to all of those things because they usually end by enriching my life. Although I was asked if I wanted to go on a three-day retreat and am most likely gonna say no to that. It might be good stress but too much of a good thing at this point!

I often try to put my mind in neutral. There's a place that isn't filled with worry or thoughts. It's kind of focused on doing and is task-oriented. I try to park my mind there if I can. If not, my go-to is a Bible verse that I say over and over. 

You'll get past this! My heart goes out to you because things like these loom so large when you're in recovery. They feel like giants outside the door. But they're not. In the greater scheme of things, it's a blip. You love her, she loves you and there's probably so much love hanging around you don't know what to do with it all. It hasn't gone away; it's still there. You will both get through this and get to the kindlier feel-good part of family! 

[[gr...]]

Thank you so much for the kind responses. I'm hoping we can get past this - 

[[Ju...]]

On 13/09/2023 at 17:06, [[g...] said:

I had a horrible conversation with my oldest daughter yesterday. She said some pretty awful things to me. It hurt. Bad. But I didn't react immediately to her story and now am processing how I can respond, if at all. When I was controlled by K, I just blurted out whatever. Now I truly think before I talk. Some financial stress also, but again, I process it, instead of react and then take a pill to sleep. Slept too much. 

I find I’m starting to think before I talk too… recovering slowly …12 months out c/t

[[gr...]]

It is a slow process. But, at least we are recovering. I have really bright moments at times and hold on to those. 

[[Ju...]]

3 minutes ago, [[g...] said:

It is a slow process. But, at least we are recovering. I have really bright moments at times and hold on to those. 

This is what I’m learning for everyone on here. I don’t wanna miss any more of my life.