Holding - Worse Before Better?

[[mi...]]

I am 16 days into my indefinite hold on klonapin to try to stabilize. I have never really enjoyed holding and honestly I don’t think I ever have held longer than three weeks, at least not in the last 15 months. Generally I cut every two weeks and by the end of the second week, I am feeling horrible and ready to cut. I’ve always assumed this was side effects of the drug the second week because when I cut, I always feel much better. But now I’m beginning to wonder if the second week was just withdrawal and when I cut, I tricked my body into a temporary rush of adrenaline, which always made me feel good. And by doing so I wonder if I never let my body really heal before I get another cut which made the withdrawal week always be worse. Now that I am holding, I am actually feeling worse on day 16 than I did even last week. Is it possible that when you have a significant backlog of cuts that you have never really let heal, thereby having them catch up with you, that those cuts can need much more than two weeks to heal, meaning you can get worse before you get better on a hold? It seems like symptoms equals healing around here and if that’s the case, then I am definitely healing. Please let me know your experience, if anyone here as ever held and gotten worse before they got better. I know some never stabilize on a hold, so I’m not interested in those stories but for those who did please let me know. I know I’ve talked to a few people who have said they noticed nothing for a month or more and then they improved but I’m really interested in some anecdotal reports on how this has gone. Thank you.

Edited September 12, 2023 by [mi...]

[[je...]]

@[mi...] I cannot speak about holding, because I didn't get worse during holding, but I can tell you my experience about making too big cuts at the start of my taper. When I cut too much (75% and 50%) I got progressively worse. I felt much worse on day 15-17 than the previous days. I actually became bedridden. On the previous days I was still able to function to some degree. I have no idea how it would've panned out because on day 18 I updosed. (I'm not suggesting you should updose, just saying I don't know what my outcome would've been). I can tell you with certainty that my big cuts resulted in progressively worse symptoms. This was right at the start of my taper, so there was nothing else interfering with these cuts. 

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