It's been months that I haven't been able to watch TV or read. I need help.

[[fu...]]

 

 

When I try those activities, even trying reading a physical book, it feels like I am frying the right temple of my brain, that already feels even before it that it needs some rest. If I insist, I might feel bad and mentally exhausted for the next days. Even typing this makes me feel bad.

These days, I am almost only watching the passage of time and I am tired of this, I want to live. I am concerned about losing the rest of my youth.

Right now, I am on 100mg of Luvox, 13.75mg of Valium and 200mg of pregabalin. I tried memantine but it made me anxious when I tried 5mg for 11 days in a row but I don't know if it's worth insisting.

I am starting to consider paths of self destruction in my despair to make my life liveable like raising pregabalin for example.

I need help. The idea that I can only watch TV again after tapering pregabalin and the benzo with the chance of PAWS scares me to the point of trying even antipsychotics such as Rexulti.

Anyone here delt with this symptom and found how to deal with or cure it?

I am sorry if I you post and I don't answer your comment as I am feeling bad these days.

 

[[be...]]

@[fu...] I am so sorry that you are feeling horrible, I do not have any words of wisdom, but I will keep you in my Prayers. I am glad that you are reaching out, and I am sure that others will post. Stay Strong.💖Peace and Healing.

[[Es...]]

@[fu...]

I would blame Luvox, but I'm not a doctor. Here are Luvox most severe sxs from Medline:

"Some side effects can be serious. If you experience any of the following symptoms, or those listed in the IMPORTANT WARNING or SPECIAL PRECAUTIONS sections, call your doctor immediately or get emergency medical treatment:

• dizziness
• fever, sweating, confusion, fast or irregular heartbeat, and severe muscle stiffness or twitching, agitation, hallucinations, loss of coordination, nausea, vomiting, or diarrhea
• pain, burning, numbness, or tingling in the hands or feet
• shaking of a part of the body that you cannot control
• headache
• difficulty concentrating
• difficulty concentrating, memory problems, or confusion"

Idk about pregabalin. I'm on a different mood stabilizer, which makes me feel like a vegetable. So I skip the doses for days, they are tiny. Yes, it makes it hard to concentrate.

Here are pregabalin's side effects. I would be cautious with raising a dose. It's def for your doctor. I never had any difficulties reading on BZD. Maybe it's just me...

[[Sw...]]

hey its going to get better, I don't know anything about your meds other then the benzos. What are the medications for if you don't mind me asking? Have you been trying to come off benzos for a while? I promise this will all get better and one day you won't remember this nightmare. 

[[je...]]

I am so sorry it's this difficult. I wish I had an answer for you. I just wanted to stop by and give you a virtual hug. 

[[Fa...]]

 

@[fu...]

'I need help. The idea that I can only watch TV again after tapering pregabalin and the benzo with the chance of PAWS scares me to the point of trying even antipsychotics such as Rexulti.

I am reaching out to do the same...to give you a hug.  I, also, have experience with this.  You're not alone.

I am very sorry you are experiencing this, as well.  I have had the same thoughts as you...daily.  I wanted to comment because I was on Rexulti at the beginning of my taper.  It was to help smooth out the taper process...specifically placed on it as an adjunct med.  I can tell you my experience with this drug.

I was on it, 2mg, from the beginning of my taper (March/April 2021) until I rapid tapered off of it in October due to AKA.  I would ask you to reconsider this decision as it changed the course of my taper.  My taper was too quick off the hop, so there is that.  However, I know that the Rexulti played a major factor in my AKA developing to the level it did.  If you look up side affects of this drug, it is one of the first side affects.  Some may use the wording 'feelings of restlessness'.  A nice way of saying AKA.  Other information does come right out and state that weight gain and AKA are two main side affects.

This is what I noticed on the drug.  I was able to watch TV, but I was still not able to watch just anything.  I would end up watching the same movies I had already seen over and over again.  The stimulation of anything 'unknown' to me...or, the potential for something triggering was too much.  My brain could only handle 'predictable' content...I aways needed to feel 'safe'...as safe as possible.  And, I watched as I was barely able to sit still.  That is when I knew something was very wrong.  Stated this way, the small amount this drug 'did' for me was at a very high cost.  I would like to share this with you.

I have been unable to watch TV for over a year.  Reading is very difficult.  I choose not to.  It revs me up.  And, music...I cannot listen to music that I used to love...really only soft jazz, and that it not an always safe choice, either.  I understand your distress in these limitations right now.  I believe that the cure for this is not another drug.  I believe that the resolution of this is removing the drug safely and waiting for healing to happen.  I don't like that answer, either.  Rexulti is a very strong AP.  Have you looked at the accounts of others who have been on it?  That will be my 'go to' from now on...going to the 'experiencers' to learn the potentials for taking a certain psychotropic drug.  I can only offer you my experience and offer you compassion and understanding of the great feeling of loss this brings about as we move through this.  It, also, gives us less options to distract.

I would have no way of knowing that you would develop AKA by taking this drug...but, I would do anything to help ensure that no one goes through it.

In my opinion, it is the BW that is creating this inability...so, perhaps focus on continuing your taper so that our NS can heal on the way down, and we can get these abilities back.  That is my wish for us both and all others going through this.  We need to find more patience within us...and, in my opinion, stop placing more mind-altering drugs in our system.  Only my opinion based on my experience.

With Much Compassion.

Warmly,

F 

 

 

 

[[fu...]]

@[Fa...] I can relate so much with the predictable things you mentioned. Does non predictable and more complex conversations also annoyed you? How are you now? Did this symptom get better? Are you off the benzos? How long did you use them?

I was considering 0.5mg of Rexulti due to this reason and treating OCD. Do you think I would need to taper if I decide to stop? Also, is AKA persistente/permanent even with interrupting the drug?

This board doesn't have signatures anymore? I think I need to put mine in the profile if it still have.

I am sorry for so many doubts and not a more detailed answer as I am still very mentally tired to type on celphone screens.

Take care and thank you for this message.

[[Fa...]]

@[fu...]  My NS is highly sensitized.  Talking can be difficult for me...is difficult for me.  So, yes...conversations can be far too much for me.  Annoying is not the word I would use...I would just say that I cannot handle the emotions involved in conversation...especially, conversation that is negative.  When I am through this, I will be a very different person in terms of what I will allow into my space when it comes to negativity-biased 'chit chat'.  I can't really place it into words.  But, my NS reacts to the most subtle of energy, and if that energy is not coming from a place of 'good intentions', for lack of a better way of describing it, I want to walk away as fast as I can.

This symptom has not gotten better for me yet.  I have had brief 'windows' where I can listen to some music...very few and far between.  I am still on my benzo, and I have a ways to go before my taper is complete.  I am a long-time user...12 years.  And, was on it for a long period of time once before as well.  Tapering has been difficult.  Rapid tapering the AP did not help this.  I have almost a year between me and it, and my pacing has lessened.  I am mostly left with mental AKA which is my worst symptom; however, I still have a difficult time staying still.  This can be caused by tapering, too.  And, as I said, I had tapered too quickly at the beginning.  Being on the AP just created a more complex set of circumstances for me.

I cannot answer your questions regarding the AKA because there is still so much unknown.  Having said that, coming off the drug would not guarantee a ceasing of AKA.  The NS has to heal.  I believed coming off of it would bring it to a halt.  It did not.  I actually got far worse before it calmed down.  And, yes...you always slowly taper any psych drugs.  It would require a taper.

Writing is not easy for me right now...but, I wanted to respond to this post particularly.  

History/Signatures are asked to be placed in the 'About Me' tab in our profiles.  There is a 'History' tab you can use, which is what I have done.  I would encourage you to fill it out when you feel you can.

I hope this has given you some to consider.  These decisions are big ones.  Adding more 'meds' always brings with it risks.  Especially, introducing to an already sensitized NS.  And...OCD...some have even termed it BOCD because it becomes incredibly magnified during benzo withdrawal.  I'm not sure of your history or what some would describe as 'pre-existing conditions'...but, 'medicating' symptoms, in my opinion, does not move you into a position of healing, but of complicating a healing process.  Again...only my opinion.  Many would say the opposite because it has been beneficial to them.

Warmly,

F 

 

 

 

[[fu...]]

@[Fa...] Thank you so much for the effort of typing and all the information. I will reconsider taking Rexulti after this. May you heal soon from sensory overload and the akathisia.

Which benzo did you use? Maybe it's benzo brain but I am having trouble to find out your history or others signature with the new layout.

Again, thank you.

[[Li...]]

Hello @[fu...].  Good to see you back in the community.  To view another member’s history, click their avatar (the image to the left of their post, underneath their username).  This will take you to their Profile. On that page, select the History tab.  (Note: If you do not see a History tab, the member has elected not to provide this information.)

[[fu...]]

17 minutes ago, [[L...] said:

Hello @[fu...].  Good to see you back in the community.  To view another member’s history, click their avatar (the image to the left of their post, underneath their username).  This will take you to their Profile. On that page, select the History tab.  (Note: If you do not see a History tab, the member has elected not to provide this information.)

Oh, I see! I didn't find such tab in one user profile but maybe I missed it. Thank you!

[[Li...]]

8 minutes ago, [[f...] said:

Oh, I see! I didn't find such tab in one user profile but maybe I missed it. Thank you!

You’re most welcome @[fu...]. You didn’t miss anything — the reason you did not see a History tab in the profile you viewed is because that member has elected not to include one. 

[[Fa...]]

58 minutes ago, [[f...] said:

@[Fa...] Thank you so much for the effort of typing and all the information. I will reconsider taking Rexulti after this. May you heal soon from sensory overload and the akathisia.

Which benzo did you use? Maybe it's benzo brain but I am having trouble to find out your history or others signature with the new layout.

Again, thank you.

You're so welcome.  I sincerely hope that this symptoms starts to lift for you much sooner than later.  It will get better with time.  I am banking on it!

I'm taking Clonazepam.

Warmly,

F

[[he...]]

@[Fa...] Hello! I am friends with @[fu...]. His condition has worsened since he posted this message, he cannot use screens for a prolonged. So I am helping him with everything computer related.

He asked me to send you some questions of your experience with Rexulti: do you still have AKA? How much time after tapering off Rexulti it took for it to go away? And how long did the tapering process of it took?

Finally, what were the positive effects you had with it, if any?

I hope you have good news to share!

Edited May 21 by [he...]

[[Ma...]]

Is anyone else unable to read a book or watch TV/movies?

[[Ca...]]

I cannot read a book or watch TV. I can read news on my phone and play Words with Friends on my phone. I find it hard to talk on the phone. I really feel for you. My NP put me on too high of a dose of trazedone -200 mgs-- and I am also on 5 mgs of lexapro and 9 mgs of subutec. So I wonder if I have a little aka. I don't pace but I cannot stand still unless i am reading my phone. I am on 14 mgs of valium and probably came off the klonapin I was on too quickly after I had upped my valium according to Ashton's conversion table and switched to Valium

[[Fa...]]

@[he...]  I don't come on the site often, so I apologize for the late reply.  You are a good friend...he is very fortunate to have you.

I did a rapid taper because of the AKA.  I tapered from 2mg in a 6 week period.  It took a year after discontinuation for the pacing to stop.  After stopping is when things became far, far worse.  I now see why...I did not then.  I had not joined this site, and did not even think that I had basically CT'd an AP while tapering a benzo.  However, for me, I really did not feel I had a choice.  I'm not sure my decision would have been different if I had more information quite frankly.  I still cannot stand still for long, and still eat standing up.  But, I can now lay down in bed during the day.  I still deal with internal/mental AKA.  It ebbs and flows but is always there at this time.  My quality of life has improved since last October when the pacing stopped.

I would not call the effects positive at this point.  What I do remember is that when I started the Rexulti, it felt like a wall went up in my brain and held back intense mental chatter/fear/terror.  But, the shadow of them were always present, and I was still aware of them.  I would not say that Rexulti, for me, had any positive effects.  For me, it compounded my situation.

I am very sorry that @[fu...]'s condition has worsened.  My heart goes out to him.  Please extend a hug to him for me.

Warmly,

F