Lorametazepam low dose Withdrawal, help needed

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Dear Forum,

I am new here. English is not my mother tongue, I hope I can explain me somehow understandable. I developed a very strong insomnia 1.5 years ago and my normal doctor prescribed me Lormetazepam (Noctamid, Ergocalm) in a dose of 2 mg for short term use. As I was kind of aware that it can cause dependency y only took 1 mg. As the drug did not cause me a lot of side effects, I got it prescribed prolonged also after 1 month of duration, as my insomnia was not really getting better. So I ended up taking it for 1 year not every night, about 1 mg maybe every second or third night. I did not had a lot of visible side effects.

After one year i stopped it, like a cold turkey, as i was not aware that i should taper it down very slowly. I did not had a lot of problems for nearly 10 days, but then the insomnia went back so bad that I nearly did not sleep for nights.

So I started to take the Lormetazepam again which in my opinion was maybe the biggest mistake. As I was becoming aware of the danger of the addiction with this medicament i agreed with my doctor to tapper down from 1 mg (half a tablet) to 0.5 mg (a quarter tablet). But the problem was is was taking it from then constantly every night, as i was afraid of the withdrawal symptoms. Strongest withdrawal symptom ist strange feelings in my hands and feet and in my head like little aunts walking on my body. Since i was doing this i was going constantly into a very hard mix of depersonalization, depression, extreme fear and paranoia, even some severe psychotic moments which i never experienced before in my life and i am unable to make important decisions and i ruined my life entirely. I never ever before experienced these problems with such a strongness before in my life. It seems the tapering down and withdrawal is just making the intensity of hidden problems much more bigger than they are originally. I think not anything comes only from the medicament, but it seems it increases problems. I have to add being unemployed worsens the whole situation and shurely has also an social impact on the situation. 

Reading in the Ashton manual and in the Benzobuddies forum about Lormetazepam, which is a short time Benzodiazepine with a half time of 12 hours, i realized that i possible experiencing withdrawal since a longer time with this medicament, as i always tried to take the most low dose possible. I was not aware, that I will possibly get used to the medicament and then normally have to take a higher dose to not experience withdrawal symptoms. 

As i am going through a very critical time in my life (my company just broke, i developed fear of working, i felt into social state money, danger of getting bankrupt and i may even losing my flat). It seems the Benzodiazepines totally disconnected me from my feelings and i only look and do nothing how everything gets destroyed since many month. Since 1 week i am able to communicate again after 5 month of total social isolation, not having seen anyone and quited with all social contacts and friends.  

I see 3 possibilities: 

1. is to taper down to 0.25 mg (a quarter Tablet, equivalent to 5 mg of Diazepam) and from there really try to do a cold turkey with a little help of diazepam drops, as I urgently need to get out of this situation. But as my insomnio is not solved, if I am getting off the lormetazepam, I will surely not sleep for weeks or months. This is why I initially took it, because I was getting paranoid and a bit psychotic and the depersonalization developed very strong. 

2. Or would it be maybe better to taper up again to 1 mg instead of trying to taper down in the middle of the biggest existential crisis of my life. I am aware taking again 1 mg of Lormetazepam will not solve anything and will make it even worse. The biggest problem is the depersonalisation it causes, i am not able to act as the person i was before. I am very confused and it is very difficult for me to make a decision. Will the depersonalisation get maybe better if I go again to 1 mg and also the other symptoms can disappear again?

3. Going into a psychiatry and doing very short and nearly cold turkey. Here in Germany in the Psychiatric hospital you can only get into a locked up station and they just take away the medication in only one week (cold turkey) and see what happens with you. Then you normally could get substituted with Valium, but I have problems taking Valium, as it totally knocks me out even in a low dose. And one of my major issues at this moment is not being able to take important or even not important decisions anymore.

It is also in general not so easy if you are already mentally confused and in a major life crisis, to say what comes from the possible withdrawal or what maybe has other influences like my external situation.

So maybe one of you had experienced similar situations and maybe wants to share what brought you out. Any help appreciated. Thanks. 

[[Pa...]]

Hello @[...],welcome to BenzoBuddies,

I’m very sorry to hear how rough its been for you, these medications do some damage before we even realize what’s causing it.  

In looking at your options, I wonder if number 2 would be the best for you now.  You mention life is asking a lot of you now so it might be good to use the medication to deal with it, then when this passes and you feel stronger, you could try tapering again.  

I have to see you go into psychiatry, that sounds drastic and will likely leave you feeling terrible.  You know they can get you safely off the drug but they can’t speed your recovery, that takes time.

Keep talking to us, we’ll try to help you sort things out.

Pamster