Scared

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Here is my former med list if it helps. Thank you. 

I’m supposed to be on the following: 

1) 2 mg Xanax XR daily (Been on Xanax for years, probably 10+ at various doses)

2) 100 mg Zoloft daily (Been on Zoloft for 3 or so months I believe? Switched to Zoloft from Prozac which I had been on since around age 12 - currently 31)

The doctor wants me to reinstate Zoloft at the same dose and drop to Xanax XR 1 mg. He did not mention any tapers. 

**stopped cold turkey around 20 days ago (think I started messing up Xanax - missing doses or taking smaller ones - closer to 25/30 days ago).

 

[[PG...]]

16 minutes ago, [[s...] said:

Thank you so much, and I hope you’re feeling better. I talked to the medical team at psychiatrist office - she said I am not in withdrawal and my symptoms are anxiety?? I’ve had anxiety forever and I’ve never experienced this. They will not discuss tapering at all. I have been naive - had no idea doctors responded to benzos like this. Granted o have a bad track record with not following treatment so I don’t blame them for being firm. But to say it’s not withdrawal?! I was shocked. My mom feels the same way as Dr - it’s anxiety.

I’m not sure what to do regarding meds at this point. Do I get back on like he said? Some people say yes, some say no. My mom is extremely upset that I’m not reinstating. If I don’t take them I’ll have to find another Dr & it might take weeks or longer to get in.

I really appreciate yours and everyone’s support. My poor mom. 

People/doctors are weird about benzo withdrawal. My cousin is an ICU nurse and I asked her if they ever got benzo withdrawal patients from the ER and she said "oh all the time! it's very common" and when I told her I had gone through it  she said "what? no there's not way, it was definitely something else".

It's so frustrating because part of what you experience during withdrawal is your anxiety. But benzos take that anxiety and pull it away from you for a while so you don't have to feel it. Then when there's no benzo in your system, you anxiety slams back into you like a rubber band. People will say "well that's just your anxiety" like yeah, but if I took your shoe off for a few hours and then suddenly threw it at your head and said "what? why are you overreacting? it's just your shoe? you've worn it every day for years with no complaints until now???" that would sound crazy.

And I understand where your mom and doctor are coming from, they hear you saying "I'm off my meds and now I feel terrible!" so of course their first thought is going to be to tell you to go back. I think it's important to come up with a plan that you can explain to them.

In my opinion, cutting Xanax and Zoloft at the same time was not the best plan. Several weeks into my withdrawal from Ativan, I decided to go on Lexapro. Lexapro and Zoloft are both SSRIs and while they can come with their own side effects, they are not as potent/strong as Xanax/Ativan. I don't know if Lexapro helped very much, but it certainly didn't hurt in my experience, SSRIs are usually pretty low risk with some potential good benefits.

If it were me, I would approach your mom/doctor with a compromise. Maybe reinstate the zoloft but not the xanax, while you give your body time to adjust to no benzos. Maybe see if they respond to that? Would you be comfortable with something like that?

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34 minutes ago, [[P...] said:

People/doctors are weird about benzo withdrawal. My cousin is an ICU nurse and I asked her if they ever got benzo withdrawal patients from the ER and she said "oh all the time! it's very common" and when I told her I had gone through it  she said "what? no there's not way, it was definitely something else".

It's so frustrating because part of what you experience during withdrawal is your anxiety. But benzos take that anxiety and pull it away from you for a while so you don't have to feel it. Then when there's no benzo in your system, you anxiety slams back into you like a rubber band. People will say "well that's just your anxiety" like yeah, but if I took your shoe off for a few hours and then suddenly threw it at your head and said "what? why are you overreacting? it's just your shoe? you've worn it every day for years with no complaints until now???" that would sound crazy.

And I understand where your mom and doctor are coming from, they hear you saying "I'm off my meds and now I feel terrible!" so of course their first thought is going to be to tell you to go back. I think it's important to come up with a plan that you can explain to them.

In my opinion, cutting Xanax and Zoloft at the same time was not the best plan. Several weeks into my withdrawal from Ativan, I decided to go on Lexapro. Lexapro and Zoloft are both SSRIs and while they can come with their own side effects, they are not as potent/strong as Xanax/Ativan. I don't know if Lexapro helped very much, but it certainly didn't hurt in my experience, SSRIs are usually pretty low risk with some potential good benefits.

If it were me, I would approach your mom/doctor with a compromise. Maybe reinstate the zoloft but not the xanax, while you give your body time to adjust to no benzos. Maybe see if they respond to that? Would you be comfortable with something like that?

Thank you, @[PG...]. I think I would be open to just the Zoloft as long as it’s safe, but the doctor won’t. He said if I do anything other than what’s prescribed, I will need to seek out another doctor. 
 

They also added amitriptyline which I do not want to take at this time. I was having nerve-like ear pain which I assume might be from withdrawal? so they prescribed it - this specific pain seems to be gone for now (and I pray it doesn’t come back) and I don’t want to risk it. I already made my tinnitus way worse and my hyperacusis might be worse as well (I pray it’s not, but it’s hard to tell). Scared out of my mind that it’s permanent. 
 

I (think) I saw something about SSRIs possibly helping withdrawal in the Ashton Manual but I was a bit confused. Is that correct? I’m assuming it’s different for everyone. 
 

So in your opinion, going straight back to 100 mg Zoloft would be ok? I’m sorry I completely understand this is probably hard to answer. 
 

Thanks again, 

Sarah 

[[PG...]]

Ear pain is classic withdrawal, imo. There's usually an active thread on here where someone is having unexplained ear pain that is driving them crazy (I went through an ear phase as well).

No one can tell you what the right decision is, but SSRIs are pretty low risk. Ironically, they can also come with nasty side effects if you cut them cold turkey. However, I slowly tapered off my SSRI a year ago with pretty much no side effect (this is pretty common if you taper slowly).

But Xanax/benzos are strong, comparing it to SSRIs is like comparing a double shot of tequila to a lite beer. It's odd to me that the doctor would mandate both a benzo and and SSRI, but I'm not a doctor and don't have your full medical history. I'm a person who cut out benzos because that was what I felt I needed. Whatever plan you make with your doctor is up to the two of you, but I would press him on why the need for xanax with no plan to try to taper down. Most doctors do not advocate for long term daily use of benzos like xanax anymore, or at least they should usually include a plan to taper off.

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2 hours ago, [[s...] said:

Was your doctor on board with tapering? 
 

Also dumb question - What are the benefits/risks of tapering vs. staying on? Is tapering to rid the body of the med for good? 
 

Thanks again 

The taper yes, he dictated how much for me to taper, I didn't know how, so he told me how we'd do it. One thing I believe is that staying on the drug for me was bad, it caused a lot of side effects, and the worst part was when I realized how bad the withdrawals from it could be.  Maybe if I'd known how bad wd are, I would have got off it way before, but who knows, maybe I would of thought I was superwoman or something and take the risk. He put me back on the 1 mg because I had to be hauled off to emergency as I had the whole left side of my body go numb and stayed that way 3 days total.  Everything came back except my left arm, parts of it and my hand are still numb.

 

[[Pa...]]

2 hours ago, [[s...] said:

Thank you @Pamster. I really appreciate your help and support. In your opinion, is it a bad idea to get back on Xanax & Zoloft? My Dr is firm on his plan and will not discuss other options like tapering or staying off completely. From the sound of it, opinions vary. 
 

Thanks again, it mean a lot. 

I like @[PG...] suggestion but I too can't advise you to go against your doctors orders even if he doesn't appear to understand benzodiazepine withdrawal.  

As far as reinstating, as @[pi...] mentioned, it can work for some, others regret it.  I guess it all boils down to what you can endure now that you know this is likely to last for awhile.  I didn't reinstate because I didn't want to give up the suffering I'd already experienced and my symptoms at about 3 weeks while still horrible had weakened enough to allow me to function, I was even able to go back to work.  I wasn't worth much at that time but I was able to fake it at least. 

Tapering is no picnic, you'll find most members are suffering so if you do reinstate, you need to know this, its not a magic formula to keep you pain free, its difficult. 

Your mom is listening to your doctor and that's understandable, we look to them to have more knowledge than we do, we're taught to trust them but they don't always get it right.  I've never had anxiety, I took Klonopin for sleep but I sure learned what it is when I grew tolerant to my dose and when I stopped it.  I feel so sorry for people with this condition now, I never knew how they suffered but I do now and its humbling.  I've heard members say that benzo withdrawal caused anxiety is normal anxiety on steroids but when they recover, their levels go back to their baseline so you won't feel this way forever. 

 

[[M....]]

Hey there, fellow Benzo Buddy! I just came across your post and want to reiterate what others have said about not beating yourself up about this. My gosh, I found out about the dangers of benzodiazepine cessation completely by accident. I had no idea! You asked an excellent question about tapering versus staying on. I imagine that there are some instances where it is actually more humane to keep a patient on a benzodiazepine, and I can see why an MD might make that call. But at the same time, I marvel at the brain’s remarkable neuroplasticity and believe that even though it may take a considerable amount of time for some people, recovery happens. The lack of understanding and support from medical professionals is frustrating to say the least. As for your friends and family members, there is quite a good video by Dr. Jennifer Leigh called “What Family and Friends Need to Know About Benzo Withdrawal.” Sometimes people need to hear it from an expert outsider (Dr. Leigh has a PsyD, I believe). If you type her name along with the video title into a search engine, I imagine you’ll find it on YouTube. Stay as strong as you can, claim your right to make decisions about what is best for you, and stay connected!