Tw: mental health/“s” - New to withdrawal. Scared I can’t do it.

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Hi everyone, 

My name is Sarah, and I decided to ruin my live and the lives of my family by quitting Xanax & Zoloft cold turkey. I’m about 20 days from the stop date - was vomiting for a few days at the beginning and then got brain zaps. Had nerve pain in ears and increased tinnitus, out of body feeling, weird sensation in feet. 
 

Don’t want to bore with details, but I’m currently housebound minus Dr visits due to tinnitus/severe noise sensitivity (hyperacusis) from acoustic trauma. Read that certain meds could make it worse so I panicked and stopped. Ironically, my very mild tinnitus is now screaming. Probably worsened hyperacusis as well. Now I have two life changing issues all because I’m an IDIOT WITH NO COMMON SENSE. These symptoms are permanent, aren’t they? This tinnitus never stops screeching. This panic. 
 

I really did it this time and i don’t see a way out. I ruined any chance of healing my ears and living again.

 

I looked up PAWS and BIND. And I thought hyperacusis & tinnitus were bad. I was on high doses for a long time. I’m getting PAWS, aren’t I? It’s inevitable. I sealed my fate.

Apologies for the rant and I truly hope everyone see progress daily. 
 

- Sarah

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It’s like deja vu. I’m on a forum for tinnitus/hyperacusis as well. Like benzo withdrawal, it’s highly misunderstood and there are no cures. Doctors don’t have enough info about it. Its ruins lives. Terrible irony. 

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Hello @[sc...], welcome to BenzoBuddies,

Recovery is possible, even for those who cold turkey, I did it too from about 6-10 mgs Klonopin a day.  The drug withdrawal consumes us with fear and pain, we experience horrific symptoms but we can recover, but it takes way too long.  

Long term users are looking at months and years of recovery but the worst time is during the acute stage which you're in.  Yes, your hyperacusis and tinnitus will be excruciating for awhile but as you recover, it will go back to your baseline, whatever that was.

Please don't give up hope and don't let your family give up either, there is hope.

Pamster

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I'm glad you are here Sarah, you are not alone, that's for sure, and I hope you hang in there with us all, it's saved my life meeting others that understand, been there, done that folks

I also have had tinnitus for about 10 years now total, started when I would get up at night and sounded like the ocean waves breaking off and on, then it would be gone and I had no idea what it was.  Then it turned into 24/7 high-pitched "ringing" I guess you could call it.  If you've ever had a hearing test where they tell you to let them know when you hear the sound??..that's what mine sounds like.

The good news is, I think people do heal from it, but honestly depends on each individual what caused it, etc.  I think more so, I've adapted to it, but I know it's better and at times, after all these years, when I go to bed I realize it's totally gone.  It comes back after I've slept.  I must not have that hypercusis because I like being around every-day sounds, just not super loud because it scares me that it will make my T worse.

I use a sound-app on my phone when I can't handle it, called chrome-doze but there are all sorts of free apps for tinnitus, you can just google them etc.  Also, I always have to mention my anti-inflammatory diet, which is just a low-carb.  I do exercise most days, gym and walking, one or the other.  I don't have family, so I don't have a clue how I would deal with all that.  I just hope you'll stick with us, I'm new, just 5 months into taper, but lots of experienced folks around here that have helped me get this far, and given me hope, Denise