Klonopin Withdrawal, Any Help Appreciated

[[em...]]

Hello all. I have been on Klonopin for five years and have wanted to get off of it for the last three. I am finally ready to get off and began the tapering process. I cannot believe what a nightmare it has been... I have experienced insomnia, anxiety, feeling like I am in a dream, irritability, anhedonia, and the list goes on. Unfortunately, that's only after a 10% reduction. I feel like this is impossible. I am having so many feelings (aside from the cascade of feelings being caused by the withdrawal), particularly anger towards the psychiatrist who did this to me without telling me what this withdrawal process would entail. I feel completely alone in this process, as no one else around me is going through it or understands what it is like. At times, I feel like giving up and just staying on the Klonopin. Other times I am highly motivated to beat this. Any and all feedback, success stories, comparisons, connections, similar experiences is so appreciated. 

*** Please note, I suffer from extreme hypochondria, so please do not comment information that might lead someone like me to enter into panic mode. (e.g., discussing memory loss or permanent damage to my brain from the withdrawal or use of benzodiazepines). 

[[or...]]

I don't know all the things that could send a person into panic mode, but I experience panic mode and extreme emotional outbursts (learned that from someone here at BB).

First I would like to see more or your history with Klonopin, and what sort of 10% taper are you doing, how fast (how large a taper each time) etc.  It helps all to know a bit more about your history of benzo use.

That 10% can be too much to help a person avoid wd sxs (withdrawal symptoms)but it depends on your history of use. Welcome by the way, saw this is your first post?  So glad you are here, and in the right place imo   I am new at just a 5 month taper at 6% a month, a slow-dry, direct, taper they call it.  I've had little to no significant wd sxs.  I cut/taper, then hold that dose until I am sure I am stable.

Glad you are here, and you can see my History of Taper if you click on my avatar, and then About me section in profile.  Give you an idea where I'm at, and how I am doing it.  Any dates in between mean I am holding during those periods, same dose for about 2 weeks, then I cut again, DenisePS it was a rough road before I got to BB as you will see

[[em...]]

17 hours ago, [[o...] said:

I don't know all the things that could send a person into panic mode, but I experience panic mode and extreme emotional outbursts (learned that from someone here at BB).

First I would like to see more or your history with Klonopin, and what sort of 10% taper are you doing, how fast (how large a taper each time) etc.  It helps all to know a bit more about your history of benzo use.

That 10% can be too much to help a person avoid wd sxs (withdrawal symptoms)but it depends on your history of use. Welcome by the way, saw this is your first post?  So glad you are here, and in the right place imo   I am new at just a 5 month taper at 6% a month, a slow-dry, direct, taper they call it.  I've had little to no significant wd sxs.  I cut/taper, then hold that dose until I am sure I am stable.

Glad you are here, and you can see my History of Taper if you click on my avatar, and then About me section in profile.  Give you an idea where I'm at, and how I am doing it.  Any dates in between mean I am holding during those periods, same dose for about 2 weeks, then I cut again, DenisePS it was a rough road before I got to BB as you will see

I am in Oregon, too!! So, I have been on 1mg of Klonopin per day for 5.5 years now. Unfortunately, I—like many others from Los Angeles—got hooked on benzos because of the culture down there. Everyone is on them. I never needed to be on them on a daily basis, but my psychiatrist insisted. Five years later, here I am: three years of wanting to get off of them, and a year of trying unsuccessfully. My 10% taper is off of 1mg. I do well for about 2-3 weeks, but then the withdrawal symptoms kick in and it does not go well. I am looking into a detox/rehabilitation facility to help me expedite the process. 

[[or...]]

I'm not sure what the more experienced folks would recommend, but I've heard some recommend up-dosing, for me, 10% would be way to large a cut/taper.  I am doing only 6% per month from 1 mg also, but doing very well on that as far as wd sxs, nothing serious at all.  Nothing that "disables" me.  What I was taught, and it works for me, is to do my cut, then hold that cut for usually about 2 weeks.  Mostly I've learned we each are different so we have to listen to our bodies, and pretty much feel stable before we cut again and that is different for each of us. 

Are you tapering the very same amount each time you taper?  Are you holding your taper until you feel stable on that dose?  If you go to rehab, I've heard you don't get to call your own shots, I mean "set" your own speed of taper.  That may not be true at every clinic but the problem is, we are the ones that know how we feel, no one else, and I for one will not let a a doctor or a rehab center call the shots for me.  I did that one time 2 Summers ago, and it went very bad to where I luckily, the same doctor that tapered me too fast reinstated me on my 1mg.  I'm still glad that I had to do that because the alternative was too scary for me.

Benzos, I've learned, are nothing to mess with, or handled precariously.  I never realized how bad they had invaded my brain until I went off them too fast.  I hope you will read all the info you can find here, and I'll put a couple of links, the first is long, but so worth knowing the effect of even 1 mg which to me is such a small dose.  I don't like to scare anyone, but I wonder sometimes if it hasn't been good for me to be scared, sort of scared straight.  That's an old "line" but I think appropriate:

https://benzobuddies.org/topic/223403-what-is-happening-in-your-brain/#comment-2944995

[[he...]]

Hi @[em...],

I could've written exactly what you wrote. If it were me, I would hold for a bit until you feel a bit more stable (but probably not good), and then I would make another cut but at about 5% this time. You need to figure out the speed that works best for you and be prepared to have some symptoms no matter what. Many of us have a baseline that includes plenty of symptoms while we go through this, but the sxs get much worse if we try to go too fast.

If you're interested in dry tapering, I have links to my nail file, pill splitter, and scale (though it's more than many want to or can afford to spend) in my profile.

Wishing you all the best. This DOES get better! And you CAN do it!

[[or...]]

Hi @[he...], I so hope @[em...] gets alerted to your post!  I am still doing my dry-cut, and gotten so good at it I can almost hit the nail on the head when shaving with a single-edge razor, and weighing with the first scale I ever bought, which was just 17$.  I calibrate it ever time I open my little kit of tools, but it seems so easy now, and you might remember what a time I had just getting started Now I'm on a roll, thanks to you and others that were so patient with me, always good to see you, Denise

[[he...]]

That's great to hear, Denise. I'm so glad it's going rather swimmingly for you now. I hope sxs are at a minimum most of the time. You're doing great. I'm down to one main symptom (and a couple intermittent minor ones) now that I'm just over 100 days off. We can all do this. It just may be the hardest thing, by far, we ever do, but it's worth it.

[[or...]]

I just got chills of thrills, when I read how well you are doing!  Seems like I am moving with the tide now, not against it.  I read that somewhere here, but I mean I'm remembering so well that every wd sx = healing!  Getting rid of the bad stuff Denise

[[em...]]

@[or...] and @[he...], Thank you so much for your comments. I cannot tell you how much it means to me. I have felt so alone through this process and reading your words has brought me so much comfort, just knowing that I have some connection to others who struggle with the same thing. I did not know that a 10% taper was too much. It seemed so small to me, and I didn't even know that a smaller taper was possible! That is amazing information to learn. So far, I have not been able to hold on to the taper because it becomes too much—so much so that it affects my ability to do my job. Since last commenting, I have returned to my 1mg dose, but I am so ready to try again. One option that has been offered to me is going to rehab. There's good and bad to that option. If either of you want to know more, I would be more than happy to share, but it's a lot to share without knowing if you want to read all of that information. Either way, whether I taper or go to rehab, I am completely dedicated to getting off of this awful drug. I can and will do this! Thank you so much for all of your advice and feedback. I seriously cannot emphasize enough how appreciated it is that you took the time to speak with me <3 So much love to you both. 

[[or...]]

10 hours ago, [[e...] said:

@[or...] and @[he...], Thank you so much for your comments. I cannot tell you how much it means to me. I have felt so alone through this process and reading your words has brought me so much comfort, just knowing that I have some connection to others who struggle with the same thing. I did not know that a 10% taper was too much. It seemed so small to me, and I didn't even know that a smaller taper was possible! That is amazing information to learn. So far, I have not been able to hold on to the taper because it becomes too much—so much so that it affects my ability to do my job. Since last commenting, I have returned to my 1mg dose, but I am so ready to try again. One option that has been offered to me is going to rehab. There's good and bad to that option. If either of you want to know more, I would be more than happy to share, but it's a lot to share without knowing if you want to read all of that information. Either way, whether I taper or go to rehab, I am completely dedicated to getting off of this awful drug. I can and will do this! Thank you so much for all of your advice and feedback. I seriously cannot emphasize enough how appreciated it is that you took the time to speak with me <3 So much love to you both. 

Hi emmejay, I feel the same way about people here, and I am not alone anymore in this journey   I can't stay on too long as having fires pretty close by here near the border of CA/OR.  I'm just using my laptop I charge in my truck, and my Phone as a hotspot for wifi.

Just want to say, I did a similar thing as you and things are working out fine.  So now, I believe people here with more experience would say wait til you are stable again on 1 mg, then we can ease you in on your new taper.  Mine is pretty small, may have mentioned but I am doing so well, and I am 70 years old, on C for 35 years, so you can do this too!  Rehabs, I'll admit I've heard, and fear them, is they do it their way.  If I were to consider that, I would set up a consultation and ask how long, and how much you'd be tapering before I ever payed money and committed myself to doing it.

You are so clear headed, especially noticing how great me and @[he...] are Just joking, hope it made you laugh/smile   I love to cheer people up and my new and better personality is due to BB and my taper   But I digress, I just think you would do fine with all of our support, but this is up to you.  I know I would enjoy you being here.  Big hugs, and let us know if we can help you further, Denise ❤️

[[...]]

I'm also tapering from Klonopin and just to notice,I Also tried with 10% taper and would agree that is very hard,just to say dont hurry and relax,go slow and everything Will be ok, to me is helping walking a dog,breathig exercise,box breathing exercise ,and try to relax,dont think to mouch about Klonopin,we Are on the same boat

[[he...]]

On 19/08/2023 at 23:35, [[e...] said:

One option that has been offered to me is going to rehab. There's good and bad to that option.

Hi @[em...],

Do NOT got to rehab! They will rip you off the drug at breakneck speed and leave you to pick up the pieces. I have rarely heard a good rehab story when it comes to benzos, as in basically never. The simple fact is, rehab is designed for alcohol or illegal-drug addictions and not for benzos. Benzos MUST be tapered slowly if you have become dependent on them. You will shock your central nervous system beyond anything in your wildest dreams if you come off as quickly as you would in a rehab/detox center. In all the groups I'm in, I only hear people wishing they had tapered slowly instead of going to a rehab center. They all lament their decision. As far as I can tell, there's ONLY bad to that option.

We're here to support you in a slow, sensible taper off this nasty drug.

[Guest [...]]

Hi Denise how are you doing? What symptoms have you been experiencing with cutting clonasepam?

im sorry I haven’t been in touch, I’m feeling miserable with this klonopin taper. Lots of tension headaches along with so many other symptoms.

how close are the fires from where you live? 

sending you a big hug from New York. ♥️🤗

[[Ri...]]

That’s the best advice you could give. Even rehab medical staff will tell ya to do it slow and at home.

[[Tr...]]

I could’ve written this 4 years ago. I came off of K and things are starting to let up. It’s worth it to come off, it’s worth it to go slowly. I was only able to tolerate 2-5% per month when it got rough. Just slow it a bit maybe? 
You can do this! Slow and steady.

[[or...]]

On 22/08/2023 at 03:01, [[J...] said:

Hi Denise how are you doing? What symptoms have you been experiencing with cutting clonasepam?

im sorry I haven’t been in touch, I’m feeling miserable with this klonopin taper. Lots of tension headaches along with so many other symptoms.

how close are the fires from where you live? 

sending you a big hug from New York. ♥️🤗

Hi Jacky, no worries, I'm just feeling a bit down tonight, had a pretty good day.  I get a lot of headaches, none today, but I keep my gel-icebags ready in the freezer.  I'm afraid of using too much aspirin.  I mainly get headaches in left side of head, some muscles aches, kind of throbbing types in legs only.  I think depression comes from the benzo wd, and anxiety.  Like today I didn't go out, I just couldn't be around anyone ya know.  I get lonely though, and felt like I was getting a sort "night terror" feeling for a few seconds, then it passed.

Oh, insomnia pretty regular but usually get at least 4 hours sleep.  Fires are 18 miles up river.  The teenie town of Gasquet is in the most jeopardy right now. I so hope you feel better soon.  Maybe I'll see you tomorrow.  I sort of look forward to night-time because I never feel like I should be out doing something at night, guess that's age mostly   hugs forya, Denise

[[or...]]

On 22/08/2023 at 14:00, [[R...] said:

That’s the best advice you could give. Even rehab medical staff will tell ya to do it slow and at home.

 

52 minutes ago, [[T...] said:

I could’ve written this 4 years ago. I came off of K and things are starting to let up. It’s worth it to come off, it’s worth it to go slowly. I was only able to tolerate 2-5% per month when it got rough. Just slow it a bit maybe? 
You can do this! Slow and steady.

Can't agree more on slow tapers.  I feel sick over folks that don't realize even a few weeks into taking a benzo can be such a hard thing on your body to do a Cold turkey, omg or even too fast a taper!  tried both, glad to still be alive to finally learn the best way. Night all, or have a good day whatever time zone you're in, Denise

[[em...]]

@[or...] @[Tr...] @[he...] @[...] 

Hi all! Thank you so much for your contributions. Regarding the rehab route... I am now so confused as to what to do!! Let me give you a bit of the background regarding why I am even considering it as an option. As always, any feedback, advise, etc. is welcome!

Due to Klonopin, I have been suffering from chronic fatigue for about five years. I have spent five years missing out on my life, on a near-constant basis. I am an attorney and I cannot tell you how much it has interfered with my work. For over a year, I chose to sleep on my lunch breaks instead of eating because the fatigue was so bad—sleep became more important than food, and I became extremely underweight. I have my own practice now, but I have to schedule my every day around mid-day naps, which can range from 2–6 hours, depending on the day. It is so inconvenient and has led me to miss out not only on work-related matters, but miss out on life in general. When I am not working, I decline doing so many activities and LIVING my life because I am so exhausted all of the time. At a retreat last year, I broke down sobbing over how I am so tired of being tired. Klonopin is 100% the cause of the chronic fatigue. 

What's worse is that Klonopin also appears to be the cause of dysphagia (the inability to swallow). It came on right after I started Klonopin. I have not been able to eat a single bite of food for five years now without swallowing a gulp of water with it to help it go down. It has led to extreme anxiety around eating, and I eat less because of the fear of choking. So, another side effect that has significantly interfered with my life. 

The last, and perhaps most important, thing is that I want to get pregnant relatively soon. I cannot and will not get pregnant on Klonopin and risk harming the baby. I have no idea how long this taper will take, and I can't put off my chance to have a family because of it. 

To summarize: Klonopin has left me feeling completed debilitated—I'm not even living half of the life that I could be living, it is causing extreme side effects that I have tailored my life around, and I am putting off having a family because of it. Here's what I understand about rehab: it is going to be a nightmare. I understand that it will be horrible, that the withdrawal symptoms will be nearly intolerable, that I will truly suffer. What I also understand is that I will come off of this horrible drug much faster, although I will be paying a hefty price for it. I do have support coming out of rehab to help me with what comes next. What I would like to know is this: although the rehab facilities are able to get you off of the drug safely, what happens to us in the days, weeks, and months that ensue? Is it miserable? Is it tolerable? Am I going to leave rehab walking straight into hell or will it just be something that I will have my ups and downs with? 

To be clear, I am not set on rehab. But I hope anyone reading this can understand why that option is even on my radar. If I decide against it, I will taper, but I will insist on tapering at a faster rate than what is comfortable for me so I can get my life back. 

 

 

[[ia...]]

 

@[em...] Hi love. You have SO much courage to be here now... it takes immense courage just to get where you have come at this point, knowing that it's time to taper and being able to ARTICULATE that. This is one of the hardest steps. Most everyone on this forum, truly understands what it is like to be 'alone' in this process.  Most of our loved ones and family (if we are fortunate enough to have) cannot truly empathize and relate to what this is like. BUT.. You have FOUND a community HERE who UNDERSTANDS. And as such.. you are not alone. 

Although I was not on Klonopin, (I was on Alprazolam and Diazepam) I was on two Benzos for several years and tapered - for ten months and recently jumped. I tapered off TWO benzos concurrently, while working. And, I just jumped off my last benzo in August - it's only been three weeks and I'm doing GREAT! I want you to know, that ... healing IS possible. As you said, YOU ARE MOTIVATED. You can, and you will do this. It will not be the easiest nor the most enjoyable thing you do in your life. It will have challenges, but... you have a community of people who love and support you... You've got a plan of 10% reductions. Let your symptoms dictate the time (might be reductions every 2, 4, 6, or 8 weeks.) Listen to your intuition and body. 

 

You have the will and desire... you have a plan, and you have support. You got this. We'll be here to support you.

 

[[he...]]

Thank you for giving us some more insight into what's going on, @[em...]. Dysphagia is a relatively common symptom of benzo injury. I'm sorry you've been dealing with it for so long.

I would still say no to rehab/detox. You have no idea what kind of suffering awaits you on the other side of that. I don't know that anyone who is already having symptoms while taking the benzo as prescribed as done well with rehab. I would look up both Nicole Lamberson's and Dan Landauer's stories on YouTube. Both of them were taken of a benzo in a detox facility. It's possible detox would throw you into a state that will take many months or years to recover from, whereas you may fare much better with a slow taper, and even though it would take longer, I believe you'd have a much better chance of being functional more quickly than if you detox.

Just my two cents...

[[Li...]]

I agree with @[he...] Josef Witt-Doerring interviewed Dan Landauer recently.  His experience in detox was harrowing. 

 

[[pr...]]

I was on Clonazepam (Klonopin) for approximately 4 or 5 years and decided to go to rehab so I could come off them quickly and what I thought was safely. I paid out of my pocket and went to what I thought was a good rehab center. I paid $1025 a day and stayed around 20 days or so. The first night I got there I was taken off clonazepam cold turkey. Then I was required to attend classes every day with people addicted to alcohol and illegal drugs. They had no idea how to deal with benzos and I was sent home after paying $23,000 cash to fend for myself.

It was rough and took a while to recover. I regretted going cold turkey but stuck it out because I was determined not to go back. I was isolated from family and friends because I could not stand to be around people. Every little thing aggravated me and I had many symptoms. Anxiety, fear, afraid to drive, insomnia and so on. It has been 5 and a half years and I am doing so much better but I would never want even my worse enemy to go into rehab for benzos.

PG

Edited August 28, 2023 by [pr...]

[[he...]]

1 hour ago, [[L...] said:

I agree with @[he...] Josef Witt-Doerring interviewed Dan Landauer recently.  His experience in detox was harrowing. 

Thanks, @[Li...]. I didn't have the time to look any up.

[[Li...]]

2 minutes ago, [[h...] said:

Thanks, @[Li...]. I didn't have the time to look any up.

You’re welcome @[he...].  I just watched the interview this weekend so still had it in my queue.  

[[he...]]

I truly love what the Witt-Doerrings are doing in getting the word out and trying to help people suffering from BIND, but for the love have they gotten expensive. Their fees more than quadrupled in the last year or two.