Taper progress and symptoms

[[Th...]]

14 hours ago, [[P...] said:

Wow, its been a dramatic few days, but I’m thrilled to hear you’re doing better today after that terror episode, I was expecting a different outcome.  It sounds like you have a good person in your corner @[Th...].

I’m pretty lucky but have to say that this whole process of stopping medication has been hard for her. I’ve had to learn to feel things again, and my sense of my emotions is very different to how I’ve felt my whole life while on meds. We’re doing ok though and she is often very supportive. Pretty lucky.

[[Pa...]]

19 hours ago, [[T...] said:

I’m pretty lucky but have to say that this whole process of stopping medication has been hard for her. I’ve had to learn to feel things again, and my sense of my emotions is very different to how I’ve felt my whole life while on meds. We’re doing ok though and she is often very supportive. Pretty lucky.

It’s tough to sustain a relationship when we go through this, I was dating someone when I quit cold turkey and all of my feelings for this person vanished, I couldn’t get away fast enough.  I’m sure it takes a lot of patience on everyone’s part to work through this, how can we connect with others when we can’t connect with ourselves?  Kudo’s to you both. 

[[Th...]]

6 hours ago, [[P...] said:

It’s tough to sustain a relationship when we go through this, I was dating someone when I quit cold turkey and all of my feelings for this person vanished, I couldn’t get away fast enough.  I’m sure it takes a lot of patience on everyone’s part to work through this, how can we connect with others when we can’t connect with ourselves?  Kudo’s to you both. 

That’s really interesting. That’s sort of what happened to me with my partner. All the feelings of love just left. Instead of ending the relationship (which I thought about) I decided to do couples therapy and I’m now just leaving myself open to my feelings to see if they come all the way back. We’re in an ok place but i’m still feeling into it. It feels like things are getting better.

 

Thanks for chatting Pamster

[[Th...]]

Very hard few days. Spent a lot of time resting and sleeping. Feeling greatful I can sleep. Was going to go away for 5 days but am not going to go. I don’t have the energy for constant people or any parties. It’s not forever.  Curious how long people abstain from alcohol once they’re off? I’m in no real hurry but would love to be able to have a glass of red wine or two again. I miss it. 

[[Pa...]]

I can relate to seeking solitude, for me, social situations were too stressful so I kept them to those I absolutely had to attend, faking my way through them.

I’ve read many members can resume their alcohol intake to previous levels once recovered, some have been able to imbibe during their taper and recovery although the majority can’t do this.  You’re smart to wait until you’ve recovered but when you’re ready, just reintroduce slowly so it can be a pleasurable experience. 

[[Th...]]

On 07/11/2023 at 00:18, [[P...] said:

I can relate to seeking solitude, for me, social situations were too stressful so I kept them to those I absolutely had to attend, faking my way through them.

I’ve read many members can resume their alcohol intake to previous levels once recovered, some have been able to imbibe during their taper and recovery although the majority can’t do this.  You’re smart to wait until you’ve recovered but when you’re ready, just reintroduce slowly so it can be a pleasurable experience. 

Thanks Pamster. Did your social abilities return eventually? Social anxiety is an issue for me at the moment but it seems pretty common. I’m trying to use the opportunity to learn skills to cope with social anxiety etc. it’s pretty overwhelming at times though as I’m sure you know! Tbh I’d have some social anxiety even if I wasn’t tapering I think. It’s just more pronounced at the moment. People can be hard work!

[[Th...]]

 

Today was a difficult day, not because my symptoms were overwhelming though. Today it was beautiful and sunny. I sat outside and worked at my computer. Not a bad way to make money! But the problem was, I felt like I should be enjoying the day. I WANTED to enjoy the day. But today withdrawal largely stopped me feeling pleasure and some OCD symptoms that have been distressing me hung around just enough that I couldn’t relax. It was hard. It’s almost easier to feel COMPLETELY horrible. You can’t feel what you’re missing. Having said that, the fact that I didn’t feel COMPLETELY horrible suggests that I’m doing ‘ok’ and more healing is coming. 
 

also, day 2 of a short hold. Down to 0.25mg (0.125mg morning and night). I am actually getting off this poison people. High fives all round! I just completely stopped my middle dose (tapering) and I’ll never be on a higher dose of benzos again, than I am now. 
 

Stay strong people. We’ll get there eventually.

 

[[Kh...]]

On 06/11/2023 at 01:12, [[T...] said:

Very hard few days. Spent a lot of time resting and sleeping. Feeling greatful I can sleep. Was going to go away for 5 days but am not going to go. I don’t have the energy for constant people or any parties. It’s not forever.  Curious how long people abstain from alcohol once they’re off? I’m in no real hurry but would love to be able to have a glass of red wine or two again. I miss it. 

I am in taper and abstained (booze) for about 2 months...I have a little ways to go yet, but I have had one glass ( 6-9 oz ) now and again recently and it's been ok.  It does however seem to get Tinnitus going a little more than usual.  Annoying.  Wine was a big part of my life until this episode.  Look forward to getting back to cooking dinners, hanging out in the kitchen, and enjoying wine moderately again once this nightmare is over.  Good luck keep progressing.!!

 

Edited November 10, 2023 by [Kh...]

[[Pa...]]

On 07/11/2023 at 23:11, [[T...] said:

Thanks Pamster. Did your social abilities return eventually? Social anxiety is an issue for me at the moment but it seems pretty common. I’m trying to use the opportunity to learn skills to cope with social anxiety etc. it’s pretty overwhelming at times though as I’m sure you know! Tbh I’d have some social anxiety even if I wasn’t tapering I think. It’s just more pronounced at the moment. People can be hard work!

Yes, I’m back to being me, we return to who we were before.  Do you think the social anxiety was caused by the drug?

[[Pa...]]

You’re going to love it when your love for life returns, its going to be great.

[[Th...]]

18 hours ago, [[K...] said:

I am in taper and abstained (booze) for about 2 months...I have a little ways to go yet, but I have had one glass ( 6-9 oz ) now and again recently and it's been ok.  It does however seem to get Tinnitus going a little more than usual.  Annoying.  Wine was a big part of my life until this episode.  Look forward to getting back to cooking dinners, hanging out in the kitchen, and enjoying wine moderately again once this nightmare is over.  Good luck keep progressing.!!

How had your taper been in general? 

[[Th...]]

11 hours ago, [[P...] said:

Yes, I’m back to being me, we return to who we were before.  Do you think the social anxiety was caused by the drug?

Pamster I’m not sure. I was put on meds when I was 16. Benzos at 24. Now I’m 44. I don’t know what I’m like off meds but I’ve been getting better and better as i’’ve reduced meds and healed. This taper had been difficult and I’ve experienced all sorts of weird things. I’m just not sure what’s me and what’s withdrawal. If you know a way to work it out I’d love to know!

[[Th...]]

10 hours ago, [[P...] said:

You’re going to love it when your love for life returns, its going to be great.

I can’t wait. I miss feeling good and loving life!

[[Th...]]

 

So I’m noticing some symptoms are dropping away as I progress or cycling around and coming back but a little less intense.

 

I had severe heart palpitations/spasms. They’ve been gone for a while

 

the dizziness, floaty/boat feeling is much less frequent and not as intense when it shows up. This one really bothered me for quite some time.

 

less head pressure/head sensations.

 

less body sensations associated with emotions

 

less eyesight issues

 

a few more things as well. I’m in struggletown but making progress and things are shifting as I move along the path of tapering.

 

[[Th...]]

I’ve been holding at this dose about a week now. I was struggling pretty badly a lot of the time but reached my milestone of 0.25mg of clonazepam. Just 0.125mg morning and night now. Midday dose is gone. I switched the night dose to the liquid and after a week I’ll switch the middle dose to a liquid also and then I can have a little ceremony where I burn or destroy the remaining pills because I will never take a never Benzo pill again once the switch is successfully made. Will be a big moment when I’ve switched totally to liquid. I’ve been taking benzos in pill form since 2004. Every. Single. Day. 
Then , after a 4 month taper I should be off benzos completely.

My physical strength has returned a little as I’ve held this last week. I’m symptomatic but not as deep in the hole as I have been while tapering. Horrible OCD symptoms are a fair bit less as well. Someone please remind me of this when I restart my taper if I end up back in a hole. I become terrified that the symptoms, particularly OCD symptoms, are my baseline. But the fact that the symptoms have improved proves that they’re not my baseline. Thanks for listening to my TED talk.

[[Kh...]]

On 11/11/2023 at 14:22, [[T...] said:

How had your taper been in general? 

So far so good.  It seeming like my dependence must not have been that great during my binge times and the .5 mg regular use of Xanax seems to be teaperable if that’s a word 😂  I have successfully crossed to Valium in about a month and steady at 6 mg.  The equivalent of .3mg Xanax.  Will hold steady here for a week and go to 5 mg.  Only real issue has been the tinnitus.  Gosh I hope it does fade.  Been following your progress.  Keep up the good work and enjoy a glass of wine if u can.  🙏🙏

[[Th...]]

2 hours ago, [[K...] said:

So far so good.  It seeming like my dependence must not have been that great during my binge times and the .5 mg regular use of Xanax seems to be teaperable if that’s a word 😂  I have successfully crossed to Valium in about a month and steady at 6 mg.  The equivalent of .3mg Xanax.  Will hold steady here for a week and go to 5 mg.  Only real issue has been the tinnitus.  Gosh I hope it does fade.  Been following your progress.  Keep up the good work and enjoy a glass of wine if u can.  🙏🙏

That’s great that your Xanax is taperable (that is now definitely a word). You’ve crossed to Valium and Are doing well? That’s a great sign! The tinnitus is such a pain isn’t it. Mine started this time last year and for a good while I didn’t know how I was going to live with it. Now I don’t think about it that often. Most people seem to report it eases with time and healing but can be one of the last symptoms to go. I think I’m too nervous to have a glass of wine. I’ve been feeling pretty rough. I don’t want to make it worse. If I started to feel more consistently better i don’t think I could resist a glass of red wine. Do you have a doctor that is supportive of your taper?

[[Kh...]]

21 hours ago, [[T...] said:

That’s great that your Xanax is taperable (that is now definitely a word). You’ve crossed to Valium and Are doing well? That’s a great sign! The tinnitus is such a pain isn’t it. Mine started this time last year and for a good while I didn’t know how I was going to live with it. Now I don’t think about it that often. Most people seem to report it eases with time and healing but can be one of the last symptoms to go. I think I’m too nervous to have a glass of wine. I’ve been feeling pretty rough. I don’t want to make it worse. If I started to feel more consistently better i don’t think I could resist a glass of red wine. Do you have a doctor that is supportive of your taper?

Hope you are right about the Tinnitus.  It is really interfering with my well being.  When I am out and about its not noticeable but I get home and rest its loud and annoying.  The taper to date has not been that difficult.  Yesterday was the first day I dropped Xanax completely out of the dosing regimen.  I also went to a night time only dosing schedule.  I did feel some anxious symptoms in the afternoon but it subsided.  It is afternoon now where I am and I will wait to see if I experience same.  Trick now is to wean off the Valium.   I have had some other symptoms like stiff neck and light muscle aches, but not sure if its the drugs or sleeping funny, or old age (i am 59).   I am still active playing golf and doing daily things so I am pretty functional as they say.    I have a Psych here in Asia and she is supportive.  She suggested a faster taper and I tried to show her Ashton but she wasnt really interested.  I have given her my schedule and she is just prescribing based on what I am asking for.   But she does want to see me off the Valium sooner rather than later.  That said if I am making a cut every 2 weeks or so (I am seeing her on this cadence) then I believe she will continue to prescribe.   Hope u stick to your schedule and things are going well for you.  Wine has not impacted my taper that I am aware of.  Enjoying a little here and there    Stay strong.

[[Th...]]

17 hours ago, [[K...] said:

When I am out and about its not noticeable but I get home and rest its loud and annoying.

Have you tried white noise on your phone or running a fan in the background to drown out the tinnitus?

 

17 hours ago, [[K...] said:

Yesterday was the first day I dropped Xanax completely out of the dosing r

That’s a big milestone!

 

17 hours ago, [[K...] said:

I am still active playing golf and doing daily things so I am pretty functional as they say.

That’s good to hear. Sounds like you’re doing well.

 

17 hours ago, [[K...] said:

That said if I am making a cut every 2 weeks or so (I am seeing her on this cadence) then I believe she will continue to prescribe.   Hope u stick to your schedule and things are going well for you.  Wine has not impacted my taper that I am aware of.  Enjoying a little here and there    Stay strong.

Sounds like things are going well for you. I’m glad to hear it.

[[Kh...]]

hi there …yes I have white noise machine, fans, air purifiers, etc….these help when sleeping.  But the relentless tinnitus is always lurking.  Wondering when my brain  will either shut it off or ignore it.  Hope it’s going better for you

[[Al...]]

On 17/11/2023 at 20:56, [[K...] said:

hi there …yes I have white noise machine, fans, air purifiers, etc….these help when sleeping.  But the relentless tinnitus is always lurking.  Wondering when my brain  will either shut it off or ignore it.  Hope it’s going better for you

Im 6 weeks off V and I tapered slowly for 1.5 years. T and sleep issues are my only serious issues.  Im 6 weeks from my jump.  It hasn't plateaued but Im hanging in there so far. I have Alexa playing crickets in 3 rooms of my house.  I wish it had a good cicada sound.  Thats what my T sounds like.Hoping it gets better for all of us.

Peace.

Edited November 20, 2023 by [Al...]
added more comments

[[Kh...]]

16 minutes ago, [[A...] said:

Im 6 weeks off V and I tapered slowly for 1.5 years. T and sleep issues are my only serious issues.  Im 6 weeks from my jump.  It hasn't plateaued but Im hanging in there so far. I have Alexa playing crickets in 3 rooms of my house.  I wish it had a good cicada sound.  Thats what my T sounds like.Hoping it gets better for all of us.

Peace.

How low did u go when u jumped? 

[[Al...]]

2 hours ago, [[K...] said:

How low did u go when u jumped? 

To be honest I was on liquid valium and honestly after .5 I quit trying to be accurate as I was going slow.  I just didn't want to obsess and take a tiny bit each night for a couple of weeks.  I was in a hurry to get off.  T and Insomnia were my biggest sxs and to be totally transparent I was taking gabap to help with other sxs and to sleep.  I can't say how much I jumped from but less than .25

Im having a small window today for the first time in 10 days!

[[Th...]]

On 18/11/2023 at 12:56, [[K...] said:

hi there …yes I have white noise machine, fans, air purifiers, etc….these help when sleeping.  But the relentless tinnitus is always lurking.  Wondering when my brain  will either shut it off or ignore it.  Hope it’s going better for you

I hope the tinnitus eases for you. I’m at the point where it doesn’t bother me most of the time. You just need to habituate to it. It’s a horrible process but eventually your brain stops paying attention to it. I hope you get some relief soon. Tinnitus is the worst! Once upon a time I thought I couldn’t live with it but it’s not often on my radar these days. Give it time. You’ll get there.

[[Th...]]

11 hours ago, [[A...] said:

To be honest I was on liquid valium and honestly after .5 I quit trying to be accurate as I was going slow.  I just didn't want to obsess and take a tiny bit each night for a couple of weeks.  I was in a hurry to get off.  T and Insomnia were my biggest sxs and to be totally transparent I was taking gabap to help with other sxs and to sleep.  I can't say how much I jumped from but less than .25

Im having a small window today for the first time in 10 days!

Congratulations on your window although I’ve probably missed it with my slow reply. I’ve been waking and feeling absolutely aweful. Then once I start moving I feel ok for the middle of the day and then start to feel rough again in the evenings. I’ve just made the change over to only liquid clonazepam now so no more benzo tablets after taking them for 20 years! Quite a milestone! Hope you continue to improve!