Taper progress and symptoms

[[Pa...]]

I hate that you’re feeling so bad right now @[Th...], I understand wanting to be done with the drug but are you sacrificing your quality of life to get there?  Your body is telling you this is too fast and certainly its your choice whether to listen but I hate to see you suffer. You’re right though, we pay during or after and most times both so who know’s what the right decision is?

Your son sounds like an amazing young man, wow!  Most adults don’t have that kind of will, he’s ensured his good health by taking responsibility for it.  For a teenager to be able to control their diet when their peers are happily consuming anything and everything is so difficult but he’s found the strength, again, wow!

 

[[Th...]]

19 hours ago, [[P...] said:

I hate that you’re feeling so bad right now @[Th...], I understand wanting to be done with the drug but are you sacrificing your quality of life to get there?  Your body is telling you this is too fast and certainly its your choice whether to listen but I hate to see you suffer. You’re right though, we pay during or after and most times both so who know’s what the right decision is?

Hey Pamster, thanks for dropping by. I’ve slowed my taper a little. I’m going very slowly but I guess I’ve been on this drug a long time so I’m going to feel it as I come off……. I’ll go slower for a little bit and see how I go. Plenty of symptoms today but nowhere near as bad as yesterday. Starting to realise I was very much in tolerance before I restarted my taper.

 

19 hours ago, [[P...] said:

Your son sounds like an amazing young man, wow!  Most adults don’t have that kind of will, he’s ensured his good health by taking responsibility for it.  For a teenager to be able to control their diet when their peers are happily consuming anything and everything is so difficult but he’s found the strength, again, wow!

He really is amazing. I love him to bits. He went through a hard time (of his own doing) and then with a little help sorted himself out and is doing really well. Better than I was when I was 15! And he’s been amazing with the coeliac disease poor kid. I have a lot of respect for that boy ☺️

[[Pa...]]

@[Th...], I’m relieved you’re slowing down a bit, making adjustments is an important part of this process.  We want off the drug but we have to be able to live our lives while doing it and tapering to maintain a level of functionality is necessary.  

I know what you mean about our kids, my daughter went through a rough time around 19 years of age but got sorted out quickly and has led a happy and successful life since, she got her act together much faster than her dear old mom.  We’ve got amazing kids. 

[[Th...]]

15 hours ago, [[P...] said:

@[Th...], I’m relieved you’re slowing down a bit, making adjustments is an important part of this process.  We want off the drug but we have to be able to live our lives while doing it and tapering to maintain a level of functionality is necessary.  

I know what you mean about our kids, my daughter went through a rough time around 19 years of age but got sorted out quickly and has led a happy and successful life since, she got her act together much faster than her dear old mom.  We’ve got amazing kids. 

Your daughter sounds amazing 😊. It’s ok for them to struggle at times but it sure does inspire feelings of love and respect when you see them sort themselves out. Part of the ability to fix the situation comes from the way they were patented too I think. Of course it’s up to them ultimately but I like to think them succeeding was helped by us just a little. Maybe I’m wrong but it makes me feel good to think maybe I did a good job with my kids 🙏🏻

[[Th...]]

Definitely going to have to slow down the pace. Only just functioning. Paranoid, anxious, massive dark cloud over me. It’s probably just a wave but it’s a bad one and I need to be functioning a little better. Going to hold my dose for a few days then proceed at a slower dose. 

[[Pa...]]

I’m glad you’re paying attention, I hope things settle down.  The patience required to do this boggles my mind, in a world of instant gratification, this is torturous. 

[[Th...]]

It was a relatively good day today. Two days ago I was terrible and today I’m pretty good 🤷‍♂️. Beats me how it works. My mood was better, I was able to enjoy some feelings of pleasure, I was more productive at work and even got some enjoyment from work and felt like I was doing a good job. I still had symptoms but that fog of negativity lifted a bit. I know it comes in windows and waves but days like this always fill me with hope of a happy future. I just watched a cooking show which is something I’ve loved most of my life but couldn’t get any pleasure from the last few years. I felt pleasure and enjoyment watching the show. It was a good day.

[[Pa...]]

It’s so good to see you acknowledge and celebrate the good days, they’re all the more precious because we understand they may not last.  This process teases and tortures us but recovery does finally happen.

The return of joy is gift. 

[[Th...]]

Another reasonable day. I have symptoms but they’re not overwhelming. It will be so good when this taper is over and I have healed! I will never touch another Benzo and not going to lie. If I could make the doctor that convinced me to take them and then repeatedly convinced me to stay on them over the years pay I absolutely would.

[[Pa...]]

Reasonable is good, and I’m glad you’re hopeful and envisioning a future free of this pain.  Hope is all we have and this process does its best to kill it. 

[[Th...]]

14 hours ago, [[P...] said:

Reasonable is good, and I’m glad you’re hopeful and envisioning a future free of this pain.  Hope is all we have and this process does its best to kill it. 

Hope and the knowledge that we all heal eventually right?

[[we...]]

Thorin, just read through you journey. What I can offer is the anxiety can feel overwhelming however looking back I physically didn’t die but felt like a did. Fast forward alsmost 2 years I’ve got my memory back, arms and legs aren’t numb anymore. Kept to myself and pushed through. I was dope sick for a couple months and ultimately too 18 months to patch a 24 hour period together where I’m grateful. Hang in tbrrr

[[Th...]]

7 hours ago, [[w...] said:

Thorin, just read through you journey. What I can offer is the anxiety can feel overwhelming however looking back I physically didn’t die but felt like a did. Fast forward alsmost 2 years I’ve got my memory back, arms and legs aren’t numb anymore. Kept to myself and pushed through. I was dope sick for a couple months and ultimately too 18 months to patch a 24 hour period together where I’m grateful. Hang in tbrrr

Hey Wester11, thanks for dropping’s by. The anxiety has been overwhelming a few times but it always passes. Overall I think I’m doing quite well compared to many people. This vertigo/dizzy/rocking feeling is hard to tolerate though!

Did you say you felt rough until you were 18 months off? It sounds like a long time…… But it’s not forever so it’s ok.

[[Th...]]

So pushed myself really hard on Saturday and paid for it for about two days. But then I’ve had two really good days! Accidentally double dosed myself this morning and felt so drugged all day. How did I handle high doses of Xanax for so long??? It’s crazy. I’m super sensitive to medication now. I’m making daily progress. Down to 0.294mg clonazepam a day. If I can maintain the speed I’ve been going at I will be off in 6 more months. March next year. My daughter’s 18 birthday roughly. I plan on holding for a week or two in about 25 days as I will have tapered my middle dose completely and am going away for a week and don’t want to have to measure out and dilute doses. When I get back from the trip it’s the last stretch! I’ll be at 0.25mg clonazepam/day. Dropping by 0.002mg a day. That’s 125 days and then off if I taper to zero. I see that it’s recommended for people to jump at 0.025mg clonazepam in the Ashton manual. I’ll see how I go when I get there. I want off asap but don’t want to push my system so hard that withdrawal hangs around longer than it needs to.

I guess all in all I’m doing pretty well. I’ve had maybe three days where I really struggled to get off the bed. The rest of the time I’ve just felt crap but can still function, and I’ve even had a couple of days where I’ve thought ‘that was a good day’ at the end of the day. Not there yet but getting there!!!

[[Pa...]]

Thanks for checking in @[Th...], you’re doing great!  You’re using your taper to live your life and while its not perfect, it’s the only way we know how to get this done.  You understand being in too big of a rush to get off the drug only makes the taper more painful and the recovery longer so good for you for not giving in to that feeling of wanting to get the poison out sooner rather than later.

I’m so glad you had a couple of days where you could actually call them “good”, those are hard to come by and even recognize but I see hope in you and that’s what keeps us going. 

[[Th...]]

Dizziness/vertigo/feeling like I’m on a boat and tinnitus are by far my worst symptoms. Anyone had any luck with those symptoms reducing/stopping? Looking for positive replies only thanks.

[[Pa...]]

This thread is archived so you can’t reply but as you can see, it was pretty active.  You might want to start a new thread asking about this symptom so others can chime in.

 

[[Th...]]

13 hours ago, [[P...] said:

This thread is archived so you can’t reply but as you can see, it was pretty active.  You might want to start a new thread asking about this symptom so others can chime in.

Thanks Pamster

[[Sw...]]

I have reasearched this website extensively and tinnitus almost always improves/ I’d say 8/10 if not 9/10 cases it improves to not bothersome or completely goes away

[[Th...]]

4 hours ago, [[S...] said:

I have reasearched this website extensively and tinnitus almost always improves/ I’d say 8/10 if not 9/10 cases it improves to not bothersome or completely goes away

Hi SweetSurrender, thanks for commenting. It’s good to hear this. I can believe this when I’m in a window but it gets very hard to believe we heal when we’re in a wave.

[[Sw...]]

I have to remind myself every time my tinnitus or any symptom worsens that it’s only temporary. And it always is just temporary. 

[[Th...]]

On 26/10/2023 at 11:44, [[S...] said:

I have to remind myself every time my tinnitus or any symptom worsens that it’s only temporary. And it always is just temporary. 

Every 👏🏻 single 👏🏻time 👏🏻. I’ve been tapering for a couple of years and it gets me every single time still. I think it might be a symptom in itself. That feeling that you’re trapped like this forever. Today I had particularly bad anxiety. I’ve been wrestling with it and convinced that I’m stuck like this all day. How good will it feel when all this is behind us!!!

[[Pa...]]

Yep @[Th...], that negative thinking is absolutely a symptom, we go to catastrophic thinking every time.  I’ve heard members say that when they’re in a window, they can see a happy and productive future, but the second it closes, all is lost.  This process is so cruel. 

[[Th...]]

A few days ago it was like a fog lifted all of a sudden. My mind is clearer, I’m more alert, I’m more in tune with what’s going on around me, more animated and alive. But it came with some strong anxiety as well. The anxiety grew over a few days and then peaked into terror last night. I had to get my partner to hold me until the terror passed. Today I have been so much better. I just feel more alive. Anxiety has been minimal so far today too. This whole process is so crazy.

[[Pa...]]

Wow, its been a dramatic few days, but I’m thrilled to hear you’re doing better today after that terror episode, I was expecting a different outcome.  It sounds like you have a good person in your corner @[Th...].