A wave at 20 months off!!!!!!

[[I ...]]

Hello buddies!!!

I wasn't here for some time!

The last time when I wrote was probably around New Year this year when I had problems with my husband.

In the end we diforced in January and was a quite bad time for me.

He diforced me because of my withdrawal. He couldn't stand a patient anymore, no matter how better I was, he said that he passed trough a lot with me and he wants a new partner.

How ever, the most interesting thing is that from the stress of the lost I literally forgot on my withdrawal and except my sadness which is normal, I didn't have any other symptom .

I returned in my country, I found a new job , I was fighting a lot..I forgot that I was a benzo user in recovery.

One morning this June I remembered and I said oh my God I'm healed but doesn't matter anymore , I was sad for my husband.

Two weeks ago I went through a new stress with my aunt. She is diabetic and I'm giving her insulin. By mistake I gave her double dose , (actually she forgot to tell me that other relative gave her night dose) and she felt in coma and got heart attack. 

Now she is good but I freaked and from one week ago I got some kind of wave.

Again agitation, intrusive thoughts, compulsions, anxiety..

It's not that intense like in the waves of the first year I must agree, but still I have them again.

Buddies you think that is a wave because of the stress?

Jesus, I'm 20 months off, I mean is normal to be stressed because of my aunt, but with the same symptoms..I thought I got over it this part of my life!!?

I'm afraid that I caused protracted withdrawal now...

Any buddy that experience something similar in the same timeline- 20 months?

I need support.

 

 

 

 

 

[[Br...]]

I'm so sorry you've been through so much stress like this.  It's no surprise that even at 20 months out severe stress triggered a wave for you.  We know that stress of all kinds can lead to a wave.   It sounds like you had healed a lot when the recent incident occurred.  Your nervous system has shown you that it knows how to heal.  I hope your wave eases up soon.

[[I ...]]

My dearest I remember how much support and advice you were giving me for the crises with my ex..

You're so so kind!!!

I passed trough a crazy stress.

In my whole withdrawal non stop were happening crazy things..I didn't have the luck to have calmer time for my recovery..Every month two was freaking me a new trauma.

And in the end I lost that one for which I decided to quit the benzoses, in order to be better for us.

I'll stand again!

In this journey I learned how big fighter I'm and how much I love the life.

I didn't know it before!

Thank you for your lovely loyalty always to support me.

Hugs 🤗

[[de...]]

Gosh, you have been through a lot.    I am sorry to read about your divorce, I am experiencing the same thing.   You made it through that, and now you are facing another stressor and wave.   I am hoping it will pass quickly.   Life is full of unexpected twists and turns, and I can totally relate when you say you life has been full of non-stop things happening.   When I started my journey I had two teenage daughters and there was always something going on!  Ha!   Hope you are able to enjoy your day tomorrow.    Also, it is not uncommon to have waves at 20 months.   I think this happens to lots of people.

[[I ...]]

My dear Decatur, greetings from the Balkans.

Thank you for your warm support and sharing similar problems.

Till my benzo tolerance (3 years ago) I've been living very relax life.

Except the diforce I've passed trough really many stressful events.

Out of nowhere fatal diseases were attacking my parents, family, and all this in my recovery.

But, after every survival you're just stronger.

Every bad for good.

P.S If your partner wants to diforce you because of your withdrawal and no-one other pre reason it's not for you!

What is the point having them if they will kicked off us when is hard.

My ex is bipolar. I was his biggest support and care giver to him.

He even told me in our diforce that I was the absolute carer and most descent partner that he ever had and that he didn't get such an unconditional love from his parents as from me.

But why you diforce me when I need you so much I asked. -Because I need excitement he told me.

Now I'm happy because he diforced me.

You'll also be good.💋🤗

[[de...]]

Thanks for those kind words!   Sorry you have had so many stressful events during your recovery.   I will be thinking of you as you get through this current wave.