Benzo taper (fail/success)????

[[Fa...]]

It has been 2 years since I tapered off Benzos.  And my life is totaly unmanageable.

I Took clonipin and Xanax for 20 years. I was married, had 3 vehicles, owned my house outright, had a decent bank account, owned a business and so on...

I had no problems, never abused them, never complained, but I moved and my new doctor was on a mission to take me off. I went through a hell only someone who's been through it could undersend. For almost a year I truly thought I was not going to live through through the day. I shattered 4 teeth (from clinching my Jaw so bad) and had many seizures(8-10?).

I'm two years off now. I have not worked yet,  I lost everything of value that I had, I don't leave my bed 29 out of 30 days, I still don't sleep and I feel as if i'm having a heart attack or stroke every day. I lost my wife, my home, my business, my car and my boat. I have zero money, I now live in state paid housing and eat with food stamps and soup kitchens. I would've never believed that my life could ever get this bad? I used to work 90hrs a week and was  never sitting at home, I was always either out somewhere or traveling. Now I'm like an agoraphob.

My quality of life has gone to total crap.  I'm looked at like a drug addict by everyone who knows my situation, even though I never abused drugs. And after all of this my doctor cannot see the error of his ways. Even though I had multiple seizures he does not think I needed to be tapered when I came off. He told me that colonipin doesn't really have any withdrawal only Xanax does.  The guy is a total idiot and should not have a medical license. 

Anyway, after all this, i'm currently seeking a doctor to put me back on a small dosage so that I can go back to work. I did amazing at getting off the benzos, considering the agony I went through. But I can no longer afford this abstinence, mentally, physically, financially or emotionally. This doctor ruined my life because they did not want me taking a pill? It is an approved medicine, some people do need it, But many doctors now think that no one needs benzos under any circumstance. I'm still not sure what his concern is/was. My health? I know I was much healthier when I was out getting exercise and working. And there's is not many health risks as bad as seizures.

I think anyone who does not need this medication should taper off immediately. It's a strong medication that no one should take unnecessarily. If you are gonna get off, understand that it's going to effect your life in every aspect, and prepare for that. Taper slow as your Dr will allow. (I did it in weeks when I should have tapered for a year or more).

 

 

 

[[Br...]]

Hello Fastly Edder - Welcome to BenzoBuddies!  I'm sorry you've been through such a terribly difficult time.  Thank you for sharing your wise words encouraging others to taper slowly.  I think the support you find here from other members  will make a big difference for you.  This is a community that really understands what benzos can do.