Intrusive thoughts, do they ever go!

[[le...]]

Suffered with quite bad intrusive thoughts about last 3 years since trying anti depressants to help with withdrawal, also due to having a very toxic family. Initially trying various hobbies did distract, but finding it hard to disassociate from them now. Have got worse last 3 weeks or so due to my family. Just wondered if anyone else had them long term and did they eventually go? I seem bit too sensitive to most supplements. Am starting therapy so hoping might help.

[[Ca...]]

It's rough going, I know. I've had it bad, worse since 2019. I'm ultra sensitive to stress also so I always got to watch out for that. This month is 7 yrs off K. Has been a nightmare but I was at a really high dosage and I sort of figure that took a heavy toll more than anything else.

[[gr...]]

I have suffered bad intrusive thoughts for many years. Therapist labeled them as OCD symptoms. Benzos helped fade them, but took away my personality for years. Have found that the thoughts fade on there own and worsen around some events. Just got to stay the course. I listen to music and watch positive videos. Good luck with therapy. It is so good to share.

 

[[le...]]

Did yours just fade of their own accord. This is so so hard. Some days just stay in bed crying most of the day. Nothing seems to help. Yesterday part day wasn’t too bad, today feel back to square one, constantly 1 step forward 2 steps back.Not sleeping which doesn’t help.

[[Ga...]]

Leann, how is the therapy going?  Are you seeing a man or a woman???

 

GG

[[le...]]

A lady only seen her couple times, as had keep cancelling as felt so awful with stomach problems. Think she will help as she seems to think lot of this to do with years of emotional abuse from my mum that I bottled up so mixture withdrawal and emotional PTSD. I’ve done all the OCD type therapy which didn’t help, but think I need to deal with stuff from past, get past the feeling worthless I got from family. NHS is useless they referred me to a psych that deals with dementia tried put me on anti psychotics. How are you doing?

[[or...]]

Hi @[le...]

 

I've had those intrusive thoughts, and they are always negative.  We have to fight that, I always say benzos are liars, for one thing.  What I've heard here and totally believe for me, since it's my choice/decision, that there is only one way through recovery from benzos and that's going "through" it. 

I think we start feeling we are too weak, and that's a big fat lie.  Thoughts like I'm worthless, I've never accomplished anything good in my life, blablabla.  Then, because I keep reading others stories, and positive posts/replies and I am reminded it's the drug.  I can't say it's all, just mostly the drug. I had plenty of issues before I got on the C. 

Sometimes just talking about how we feel, and crying is good for me, I always feel better after crying my eyes out.  Listen to your body, if you need to stay in bed do it!  I lay down whenever I feel I need to.  I'm retired so I'm very fortunate. I'm just going to say it for myself and that is "screw guilt, fear, and lies".

We "are" benzo-warriors and really don't know how strong we are until we take on the journey, and with each milestone, no matter how long it takes, the light at the end of the tunnel will get brighter Denise

[[or...]]

On 8/3/2023 at 12:29 PM, [[g...] said:

I have suffered bad intrusive thoughts for many years. Therapist labeled them as OCD symptoms. Benzos helped fade them, but took away my personality for years. Have found that the thoughts fade on there own and worsen around some events. Just got to stay the course. I listen to music and watch positive videos. Good luck with therapy. It is so good to share.

 

I appreciate this so much for myself, I wrote below about the thoughts that intrude on my life, and just want you to know you gave me a lot of encouragement as well, Denise

[[df...]]

Leann,  I have been where you are.  So sorry you're dealing with this.  The key I found was to get stabilized on the meds, then gradually - very slowly taper off using the Ashton manual ( if they are benzos).  Even so, it's still not easy.  I needed therapy and family for support.  At times I had to go to a psychiatric hospital.  You can and will get through it.  But use the resources you have and don't be afraid to ask for help when it feels overwhelming.  Cognitive diffusion and mindfulness training were also helpful.  Hang in there and remember they are just thoughts, not truths.

[[Be...]]

Been having on and off intrusive thoughts about different topics throughout this process...They really got intense the last 3 months after being triggered by 2 deaths of people I know...Kept on waiting for them to stop and were only getting worse and I kept the loop going..Felt this was enough with them.Did some research on OCD,read a book on overcoming unwanted intrusive thoughts...Did the self therapy that this book recommended...The thoughts disappeared...So my advice is whether intrusive thoughts are from withdrawal or not exposure therapy might help..Otherwise you can keep waiting for years,I did too and kept on living at the mercy of these thoughts...

I actually recorded these thoughts on my phone and kept on listening to them on earphones everyday,first days were so uncomfortable but kept pushing...Now you can mention the same thought to me and I just laugh st you...Moral of the story,I know time heals but you can suffer for ages...

I used to argue when someone tells me to do the therapy with excuses like this is withdrawal induced and the brain will heal and they disappear but waited for eternity...We need to train our brains to stop creating the false alarms...

 

[[le...]]

Thanks DFinch. I was forced to go CT off zopiclone after 12 years by new GP, think had I been able to taper would been OK.  Was told was just placebo effect. Maybe would happened eventually as had really toxic mother and sister think the zop blunted my emotions. But agree if you are able tapering is much better option if you have an understanding GP.I did consider psychiatric hospital at times, but don’t want take any more meds if can avoid it

[[Br...]]

@[df...] Welcome to BenzoBuddies!  If you haven't already please feel free to start a thread on the Taper Planning and Adjustment or Withdrawal and Recovery Support boards.  We're glad you're here!

[[gr...]]

My OCD started 60 years ago when I was 7. Now, I believe it was because of my harsh childhood. At the time, not much was available for kids or anyone for that matter. Just kept powering through. In my 20's I found alcohol seemed to diminish the thoughts when they would appear during stressful times. Not a good choice! In my 40's my general practicer doctor thought Benzos might help - and from then on I was taken over by the calmness they seemed to bring me. I would not take them for a few months, here and there, but always sought them back out. Many personal mistakes and hard living. Now, I feel blessed because at 67 I really am here. 13 months off - no booze - no pills. Trouble sleeping, anxiety hits me hard at 3 in the morning - intrusive thoughts flow. I sit quiet, breathe in deep and tell myself to keep on. It works. My children are seeing me in a much different light and some moments, I can smile. Thank you so much everyone for sharing!