Protracted but doing mostly well? Anyone else?

[Guest [It...]]

Hi all, 

I'm curious if there are others who are protracted like me here? I'm over 3.5 years off and function normally. I have periods of time (days to weeks) where my symptoms subside completely and I feel totally normal. Then I get tossed back into a wave, although they are (typically) mild. 

When I look back I can absolutely see the healing but it feels achingly slow. I feel like I'm plateaued or stuck here (although I know I'm not). I have been saying I'm in the "end stages" for over a year now. 

I guess I'm just hoping to connect with anyone else who is protracted and all in all doing well but just still not completely out of this yet. 

[[La...]]

Well….you found me! I’m in the same boat basically. I’m healed much recently and am now doing things I didn’t think I’d ever do again or anytime soon. My healing took off in a good way suddenly. So after 2 years I’m driving a little bit for about a month off and on. Not far ( parking lot surfing) 😂 but to me it’s a BIGdeal! I’m now trying to get to where I can actually go somewhere. Very close to start. But just like you, after I make big steps in my healing,I get thrown back for a short time with revved up waves/ symptoms then it gradually goes back to better days. I’m 37 months. I call this “ fine tuning” stage. It sucks because I can’t really plan anything still. But I can do many things now so I’m not complaining. I guess we just have to let it do what it’s doing to complete the process. 

[Guest [It...]]

@[La...] Thank you so much for the response and can I also say that I am SO thrilled to hear you are doing better! I've popped into the 12-24 month group a lot over the last two years to read how many of you are doing. I have always admired your kindness and positivity throughout this entire process and how you speak and encourage others no matter how you are feeling. 

I like that - the fine tuning stage - sounds about right!! I think the most challenging part for me is getting such an incredible taste of what its like to be completely normal, only to be tossed back in again.  But you're right, we do have to just let it do what its doing until we complete the process. I have always believed that the only way out of this is through and I appreciate you reiterating that in a sense. 

 

[[sh...]]

People like you two spend me hope. Thank you so much ❣️For me it’s 28 months.. yes for me too it’s so nice to feel normal for a few hours (last sunday I even managed to go for a short ride with my horse) but even harder to find me back in the next painful wave 😵‍💫 I do agree the only way out is through and the biggest healer is time. Keep healing 🍀🥰 

[[Na...]]

Hi Itsmytime and Lady Den!

it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything. Thank you both for sharing. I’m 43 months Benzo free and riding a moderate wave right now. It’s discouraging, but I know it will pass. I never dreamed I could have a setback this far out. I’m hoping snd praying we are all close to being healed.

Sandy🥰

[[Na...]]

FYI When they changed the website, my Google username came up. It was SJS.

[[Ga...]]

Hi Sandy!  I sent you a pm a couple of days ago to see how you are doing?  Would love to have an update from you!!!  I am now at 40 months with some ups and downs, but holding on tight until the big window opens up….I know you are, too.

Hugs,

GG

[[de...]]

@[It...] Achingly slow is a perfect description!   It is encouraging to hear that you have periods of time where you feel normal, but I know it is hard to get thrown back into a period where you experience symptoms.   This is such a difficult process.   

I have been saying I am in the end stages for about three months now; I am 40 months off.   Still having lots of symptoms but definitely feel like things are "shifting" and that there is some good healing going on.   Anecdotally it seems there are lots of people in protracted who are still not completely healed at the three year mark but experience lots of healing between year 3 and 4.   

We will all heal.    So good to hear from you!

@[Na...]  Sandy!!    So sorry you are in a bit of a wave.    I hope it subsides quickly!   It seems like summer is harder for some of us.  I know it is for me.   We have missed you, but glad you have been doing well.

@[La...] Hope you are enjoying some good days!   I miss our 12-24 month forum.  

[Guest [It...]]

@[Na...] I'm sorry to hear that you're in a bit of a wave right now! If there's no very specific cause, I try and just look at it as a bit of a flare up, like our body has gone back in to do a deep dive and so some more fine tuning with our healing (kind of like the fine tuning @[La...] mentioned, just in more intense spurts). I know it's hard to not see it as a setback but I truly believe these rotten waves further out are just further healing and nothing more. You will pull out of this, and will likely feel better with a higher baseline afterwards!! 

 

@[de...] thank you so much for the reassurance and kind encouragement, it means alot!! Sounds like there are a few of us here who can relate to what I'm talking about and I can't begin to tell you how much less alone this makes me feel. I've spoken with a handful of the coaches who have been around for many years and they all said the same thing you just did, that they see immense healing in many of their protratced clients between years 3&4. Ive also heard that the majority of those protracted will heal within 5 years and it is a small percentage that take longer then that. I really can't complain, I am doing exceptionally well all things considered, it just feels so darn slow. 

I'm so happy to hear that you are doing well and also feel like you are in these end stages, even with the symtoms you're still dealing with. 

Thank you again for the support and encouragement, I'm so grateful you all have chimed in!! 

 

 

[[ja...]]

Thank you all..... I've been struggling at 20 months, feeling scared that I'm in a very small minority.   Lovely to hear your voices and know there's lots of room for progress still.   

[Guest [It...]]

What I'm hearing in all of this is that we need a thread going for all of us who are in the first few years of being protracted.

This has sure helped normalize for me how many others are in this limbo time period of 2-5 years off. 

[[mi...]]

On 8/1/2023 at 10:06 AM, [[d...] said:

@[It...] Achingly slow is a perfect description!   It is encouraging to hear that you have periods of time where you feel normal, but I know it is hard to get thrown back into a period where you experience symptoms.   This is such a difficult process.   

I have been saying I am in the end stages for about three months now; I am 40 months off.   Still having lots of symptoms but definitely feel like things are "shifting" and that there is some good healing going on.   Anecdotally it seems there are lots of people in protracted who are still not completely healed at the three year mark but experience lots of healing between year 3 and 4.   

We will all heal.    So good to hear from you!

@[Na...]  Sandy!!    So sorry you are in a bit of a wave.    I hope it subsides quickly!   It seems like summer is harder for some of us.  I know it is for me.   We have missed you, but glad you have been doing well.

@[La...] Hope you are enjoying some good days!   I miss our 12-24 month forum.  

Hi Decatur!

Are you from Decatur Georgia?

[[gr...]]

Achingly slow indeed. Just had a melt down with my husband who has not comprehension of what benzo withdrawal is like. He can be so mean, but I can be too!

[[gr...]]

I will add that after posting - I called a recovery group hotline I am member of and they were so easy to talk with. Quite the battle, this being sober.

[[de...]]

@[mi...] I am not.  

[[ka...]]

On 8/1/2023 at 6:59 AM, [[G...] said:

Hi Sandy!  I sent you a pm a couple of days ago to see how you are doing?  Would love to have an update from you!!!  I am now at 40 months with some ups and downs, but holding on tight until the big window opens up….I know you are, too.

Hugs,

GG

happy to read this GG, we are sounding a lot like each other these days.. kanoba