Rapid muscle loss and now hair loss. Very upsetting and hard to make peace with.

[[wi...]]

I'm just sharing my frustration.  Not only did I lose rapid weight and muscle mass throughout the last half of my taper, but I've noticed I've lost more hair that ever in this last month, now that I"m 90 days out.  It was falling out gradually, but now it has really become noticeable.  It is definitely from the WD.  Not only do we have to suffer mental and physically, but this.  Sky has also been wrinkled and dry throughout taper.  It's tough to feel like I've aged and deteriorated into an old looking person.  Dark circles around eyes too from lack of quality sleep and stress.

I know it's vain, but it sucks!  Thanks for listening to me vent.

[[PE...]]

You will look better when you're done. I lost 6kg, mostly muscles, since december. And when i went through really bad Insomnia phases before I started with benzo i looked like a zombie. But it sucks. Can't go to the gym more then twice a week because of this. 

11 days off CT but feel better then i did before I just quit. Tried taper since december and had every symptom there is. I haven't vomit for a week now and shaking is better. I went CT from huge tolerance and doses I think.

 

Edited July 29, 2023 by Guest

[[Fa...]]

Hi Widesky,

I just vented minutes before you...sometimes, we really need get it out before we explode/implode.

I, too, have had rapid weight loss...muscle mass gone.  My skin hangs off my arms, my inner thighs...my shape is that of just starting puberty.  I'm 55, and skin elasticity is not what it once was, and now that is very obvious.  Wrinkles have appeared due to lack of fat.  It is very difficult.  And, it is not vanity...it is just a desire to be the best version of ourselves, and when we feel good about how we look and have the ability to take pride in how we keep ourselves, we feel healthier and confident.  We know our sense of value is not dependent on our appearance, but that doesn't mean we do not want to like what we see when we look in the mirror.  That is my opinion, anyway.

Hair...the dropping of hair.  It is difficult to accept.  This has happened to me, also.  In addition, as I go through the dropping and regrowth phase consistently, new growth is now grey.  All of this does suck.

On the bright side, weight will be gained back, muscle tone can return, hair regrows and will stay, and our skin will return to normal again.  And, that 'old' feeling we have...I have been told over and over again that when health returns, it is reflected through our appearance just as our appearance has been affected by being unwell for so long.  And, the 'aged' look we all feel like we now have...regardless of what age we are...that look will shift back to health.  And, that will have so much to do with seeing the world through a healthy lens again...better than before with an appreciation we may not have had before this happened.

Warmly,

F 

[[wi...]]

14 hours ago, [[n...] said:

You will look better when you're done. I lost 6kg, mostly muscles, since december. And when i went through really bad Insomnia phases before I started with benzo i looked like a zombie. But it sucks. Can't go to the gym more then twice a week because of this. 

11 days off CT but feel better then i did before I just quit. Tried taper since december and had every symptom there is. I haven't vomit for a week now and shaking is better. I went CT from huge tolerance and doses I think.

How long were you on benzos?

[[PE...]]

5 years on subscription and 1.5 years bindging to the point were they did nothing for me. CT 10 days ago

[[wi...]]

14 hours ago, [[F...] said:

Hi Widesky,

I just vented minutes before you...sometimes, we really need get it out before we explode/implode.

I, too, have had rapid weight loss...muscle mass gone.  My skin hangs off my arms, my inner thighs...my shape is that of just starting puberty.  I'm 55, and skin elasticity is not what it once was, and now that is very obvious.  Wrinkles have appeared due to lack of fat.  It is very difficult.  And, it is not vanity...it is just a desire to be the best version of ourselves, and when we feel good about how we look and have the ability to take pride in how we keep ourselves, we feel healthier and confident.  We know our sense of value is not dependent on our appearance, but that doesn't mean we do not want to like what we see when we look in the mirror.  That is my opinion, anyway.

Hair...the dropping of hair.  It is difficult to accept.  This has happened to me, also.  In addition, as I go through the dropping and regrowth phase consistently, new growth is now grey.  All of this does suck.

On the bright side, weight will be gained back, muscle tone can return, hair regrows and will stay, and our skin will return to normal again.  And, that 'old' feeling we have...I have been told over and over again that when health returns, it is reflected through our appearance just as our appearance has been affected by being unwell for so long.  And, the 'aged' look we all feel like we now have...regardless of what age we are...that look will shift back to health.  And, that will have so much to do with seeing the world through a healthy lens again...better than before with an appreciation we may not have had before this happened.

Warmly,

F 

Faith, thank you for your input.  I am choosing to believe things will begin to shift the more I heal.  Sending blessing and good thoughts your way!

[[PE...]]

Forcing myself to the gym today. Feels great after

[[be...]]

What were you guys taking I’m 26 and loosing all my muscles 3mg k ct 10 weeks ago

[[Fa...]]

@[be...]  I am tapering Clonazepam.

Congratulations on being in week 10 of your cold turkey.  I know how difficult it must be.  But, you’re doing it!

Warmly,

F

[[be...]]

I’m reinstating I can’t do this my whole body is numb all my muscles are almost gone same with all my hair my eyes are sunken in have no jaw line starting to get into joint pain I messed up big time not tapering I didn’t know any better 

[[wi...]]

@betterdayz4 We all didn't know any better.  I also CT 3 months ago after 27 years of Xanax, and 1.5 yrs of a crossover taper with valium.  I CT before I finished my valium taper for many reasons I won't go into.  I was CT from 11mg of valium and it has been rough.

I know exactly how you fell with the symptoms you described.  They say the goal is to stay alive one day at time.  If you have to reinstate to accomplish that, you should never be judged..especially by yourself!  I know, it's hard not to listen to that negative self talk.  Please be gentle with yourself.

[[Ma...]]

You can google Emma Saunders-who successfully reinstated-and talk with her for free. She’s great!

[[wi...]]

Emma Saunders is wonderful.  She is a very wise and down to earth person.

[[Ma...]]

BTW, I started another topic on this but it seems your entire endocrine system is hijacked.

Muscle loss, hair. A week ago about 4 inches of hair just broke off.

Bones? I have crushing pain from muscles on my shoulder bones.

Today I ‘stubbed’ my toe. Nope. Broke it. And I have AKA.

 The gift that keeps on giving and this? I do not see recovering from something so fundamental within/of the body 🥺

[[be...]]

I reinstated this morning and have zero relief my body is still totally numb I just feel utter disgusted with myself 

[[Fa...]]

1 minute ago, [[b...] said:

I reinstated this morning and have zero relief my body is still totally numb I just feel utter disgusted with myself 

Just the one dose so far?

[[be...]]

Yes took .25 k and nothing hour later another .25 and nothing 4 hours later nothing 

[[be...]]

I reinstated 2 doses for 2 days and it really didn’t do much now being 10 days later im feeling the effects of not having it in my system I don’t know how you guys do this I’m crawling out of my skin 24/7 full body numbness even my eye balls muscles loss everywhere starting to have lots of swelling too blood circulation sucks 

[[Ma...]]

I don’t know if you want to try again, or if it’s well advised, yet sometimes reintroducing the benzo slowly over a few weeks is necessary. That’s what I’ve heard. And another resource is Geraldine Burns at COHEAL.

[[Ch...]]

I could not reach coheal. Website did not work?