People who have been recovering for over ten years

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This is my first time with Benzo Buddies. I joined today because I am looking for other people like myself who have been struggling with recovery for a very long time. I had my last Benzo almost 13 years ago and I am still having symptoms that come and go and in varying degrees. I want to know that I am not alone, or crazy and that someone else is still struggling too. 

[[je...]]

Hi Lisa

Welcome to BenzoBuddies!

I am deeply sorry you have been struggling with your recovery for such a long time. I am 8 months off now, so I cannot imagine what it must be like. We are so glad you are here. You are definitely not crazy and you are not alone. Our site has just gone through a major software upgrade so we are all still trying to find our feet. We used to have a Protracted forum with members who are in long term recovery and we are in the process of setting up the group again. The folks in that group are the most lovely and compassionate group of people you'll ever meet. I'll see if I can get one of them to check in on this thread.   

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Omg! Thank you! I feel better already. And if you are 8 months out don’t be discouraged by my situation. I am much better than I was the first few years and I get the feeling it’s not very common for recovery to go on this long. 

[[je...]]

I'm glad my post was encouraging. I feel so bad that our protracted community is in limbo right now. Hopefully one of them will stop by to make you feel welcome, but you are still welcome to post and chat anywhere you want regardless of how far out you are. I just know how valuable the support is from people who have the same experience as you. 

And thanks for your encouragement.  I am very hopeful I will recover in the next year or so. My taper was tough but manageable. It's good to know you've seen some progress. 

[[PE...]]

I'm 10 days off and get really scared reading stuff like this. I hope you learned to cope with it.

And what a strong person you must be.

[[Na...]]

Hi Lisa,

 

I'm 8 years off of prescribed z-drugs and benzos for insomnia. Took them for a total of about 18 years.

You're not alone and you're not crazy. I still have some issues all these years later - bad anxiety and muscle pain and spasm on my ribcage and around my back.

What issues are you still having?

Peppe - If I were you I would skip the stories of the people that are protracted. You probably won't end up here and reading this stuff will just make you worry needlessly. Just focus on getting through the issues you're having right now. Try not to worry about the future too much.

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11 hours ago, [[p...] said:

I'm 10 days off and get really scared reading stuff like this. I hope you learned to cope with it.

And what a strong person you must be.

I’m so sorry you read my post. I always hesitate to write how long I’ve been recovering because I know what that would have done to me to read that in the early days of recovery. Please know that I am an outlier and your experience will be way better than mine. You’re going to do great! And, I should mention that I am by no means like I was the first four years of this journey. I am functioning and have very happy periods of life that make it all worth the struggle.

[[PE...]]

Thanks Lisa. Outliner?

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Hi Nathan!

Thank you so much for responding! What a relief to hear from you. I still struggle with anxiety, muscle tension, drug sensitivity of all kinds, weird breathing issues and sometimes a sadness that doesn’t feel like the one bout of depression that I had 30 years ago before benzos. I still take an antidepressant and I have tapered down to a very low dose but then had to go back up after a nightmare neck surgery two years ago. I had a horrible reaction to either the anesthesia or pain meds and felt like I was back in the early days of w/d again. I’m wondering if still being on the antidepressant is messing with my healing. Are you on any antidepressants?

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Outlier meaning a person or thing differing from all other members of a particular group. Like a rarity. 

[[lo...]]

Hi Lisa, I completed my taper from benzo in 2013.  I also tapered off Venlafaxine 2014-5.   I have long lasting harm which makes life difficult but am hugely better compared to 10 years ago.  I am nearly 70 so my age doesn't help nor does my long history of being on benzos and antidepressants for decades.  I see you still have a variety of symptoms.  I have the muscle tightness which has improved a lot but I am still limited in how far I can walk, my back and legs stiffen up.  However I can manage to swim.  My other issues are lack of energy and cognitive impairment.  I see you are on an antidepressant.  I don't know whether or not the antidepressant made things worse for me as the benzo was definitely the primary problem.  I came off it in the hope that it would aid my recovery but who knows whether that helped or made things worse!  I hope it helps to know you are not alone here.  I started a new blog today wondering if there were any other long haulers out there feeling a bit isolated, it isn't easy being a long hauler. I get the sadness too but it is grief for the loss of so much due to these drugs and I believe is not at all abnormal but understandable.  I spent most of my time in the protracted section for a number of years so hopefully that will soon be available again as it provides invaluable support. 

[[de...]]

[[ja...]]

I'm grateful for this thread.  I will keep an eye out for the Protracted group.  I'm at 20 months and have been having a hell on earth time lately.    So I need to connect with my people.... thank you.

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[[st...]]

Will be glad when the protracted group is back up and running 

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On 7/29/2023 at 12:02 AM, [[p...] said:

I'm 10 days off and get really scared reading stuff like this. I hope you learned to cope with it.

And what a strong person you must be.

Don’t let it scare you Pepe. Some people heal very quickly. In fact most do. Some of us are just a little more unfortunate but it does get better and is nowhere near like the beginning. Each day is a step farther away from this poison called benzos. 

[[lo...]]

On 7/29/2023 at 5:02 AM, [[p...] said:

I'm 10 days off and get really scared reading stuff like this. I hope you learned to cope with it.

And what a strong person you must be.

Please don't be scared, just focus on trying to get better.  Those of us who are not fully recovered after years are not the majority and often we can have complicating factors in our medical histories.   The protracted section was very useful as we could share our experiences there and not upset people starting out on this journey.   We had to take each day at a time like everyone else!! 

[[Na...]]