Not much better a year later

[[hl...]]

I just went to the grocery store and felt so disconnected from the world. I felt like I was almost stuck in fight or flight mode. I can’t just relax and take my time looking at the options, it’s like I’m some dumb animal stuck in a state of fear. 
 

the fear and anxiety isn’t the issue though, it’s that I cannot go anywhere without feel this strange feeling. It’s like my brain cannot process anything at all and I’m just stuck. Everything looks weird. I feel stumbly and cannot enjoy the moment. It’s the worst feeling knowing I felt this exact same way 9 months ago and here I am feeling the exact same way today. Literally nothing has changed. It almost feels like I’m hungover and have mental tunnel vision. I don’t know how to describe it. My brain just can’t function. 
 

im beginning to believe that we do not heal. I can’t believe I’ve seen 0 progress and it’s been an entire year. I don’t believe that I’m going to get better at all honestly, I think this is it

[[hl...]]

The redesign of this site killed engagement….

[[Pi...]]

Hi H.

My 1 year anniversary is Aug. 1.  I am much better but I still have issues.  Eventually you won’t feel in flight or fight at the grocery store.  It just fades.  It just takes a long flippin time.

pickle

[[An...]]

11 hours ago, [[h...] said:

The redesign of this site killed engagement….

It is going to take a little getting used to hllaya

[[hl...]]

On 7/23/2023 at 7:45 AM, [[P...] said:

Hi H.

My 1 year anniversary is Aug. 1.  I am much better but I still have issues.  Eventually you won’t feel in flight or fight at the grocery store.  It just fades.  It just takes a long flippin time.

pickle

I’m just extremely upset because I’ve realized that I haven’t improved much at all over the course of a year. I can’t drive, I can’t go out, i can’t do anything. Looking back on Christmas, I’m in exactly the same spot. I was tormented at Christmas Eve dinner at a restaurant and I’m tormented now. 0 progress made. 
 

what a joke 

[[Je...]]

8 minutes ago, [[h...] said:

I’m just extremely upset because I’ve realized that I haven’t improved much at all over the course of a year. I can’t drive, I can’t go out, i can’t do anything. Looking back on Christmas, I’m in exactly the same spot. I was tormented at Christmas Eve dinner at a restaurant and I’m tormented now. 0 progress made. 
 

what a joke 

That sucks. I know how frustrating that can be.  Have you thought of ways to heal? Exercise has been my he #1 factor for me healing as I taper.  Also, my addiction doctor who has seen lots of benzo patients said neurofeedback had the most success rate for those who were not healing after a long period of time off benzos 

[[hl...]]

1 minute ago, [[J...] said:

That sucks. I know how frustrating that can be.  Have you thought of ways to heal? Exercise has been my he #1 factor for me healing as I taper.  Also, my addiction doctor who has seen lots of benzo patients said neurofeedback had the most success rate for those who were not healing after a long period of time off benzos 

I’ve tried neuro feedback in the past pre benzo for depression and I’m not sure the technician was very experienced in what they were doing. Left me feeling weird for a few weeks, so I’m a bit hesitant to try it again, but on the other hand I will try almost anything to get better. However I’m also scared of making things worse…

 

what bothers me the most is that I don’t even know if it’s normal to feel this bad this far out. The more time that goes by without seeing improvement, the more scared and depressed I become. I feel like most people are ok around this time, and I’m… not.