The Long Hold Support Group

[[Tr...]]

NJ and Trishy, your words resonate with me so much, watching life go by and seeing all of the 'normal' people out having fun and missing it all. The magic in life that I used to experience daily is dull and grey. It is so frustrating and sad. I'm feeling it hard today so I don't have any great words of encouragement, just solidarity. Love to all.

[/quote

 

Hi Olive,

Seems there are a few of us having a tough time today, hang in there, hold tight my friend, there has to be brighter days ahead. For now we can take comfort in knowing that we're in this battle together , we will take care of each other and uplift one another when the days are sometimes "dull and gray "

So just know I'm feeling your pain too..along side you, like you said "solidarity". Sometimes a good cry is what's needed, a funny movie, a good book to get lost in, whatever you can think of that might lift your spirits, maybe there are days when nothing works and that's ok too as long as we don't get stuck in that dark hole. Stut reminded me that this unwanted journey we're on has a beginning, middle, and an END. I have to remind myself that this is temporary and not my "FOREVER" and it's not your "FOREVER" either.

Wishing you brighter days and " MAGICAL" tomorrow's..

Trish 

 

[[ga...]]

Hi can anyone answer I have been tapering liquid suspension prepared by my pharmacy since Jan 18, 2018 started at 0.75mg and now down to 0.510mg is that good progress and I also find I need to hold more often is this just me as I know we are all individuals and handle tapering and meds differently.  The question I have how long is to long to hold?  My longest hold has been say 8 days

 

There are so many threads on this forum hard to find an answer to my question so thought I would post.  Can someone advise how to search thru this forum for say someone tapering Klon and holding?

 

Purple

 

Purple, While you're on this page, go to the top right and enter the word klonopin in the search box. That will search only this thread for klonopin.

 

You could also read people's signatures looking for klonopin. That should also give you an idea of how long people are holding. I think you'll find everyone measuring holds in months, not days.

 

Or you could try this:

 

Hey, are there any klonopin people on this thread?

 

Gard

[[Ma...]]

Hi can anyone answer I have been tapering liquid suspension prepared by my pharmacy since Jan 18, 2018 started at 0.75mg and now down to 0.510mg is that good progress and I also find I need to hold more often is this just me as I know we are all individuals and handle tapering and meds differently.  The question I have how long is to long to hold?  My longest hold has been say 8 days

 

There are so many threads on this forum hard to find an answer to my question so thought I would post.  Can someone advise how to search thru this forum for say someone tapering Klon and holding?

 

Purple

 

Purple, While you're on this page, go to the top right and enter the word klonopin in the search box. That will search only this thread for klonopin.

 

You could also read people's signatures looking for klonopin. That should also give you an idea of how long people are holding. I think you'll find everyone measuring holds in months, not days.

 

Or you could try this:

 

Hey, are there any klonopin people on this thread?

 

Gard

 

I like your second selection best :laugh:

[[pu...]]

bump

[[Ca...]]

bump

Helloooo..!!

 

How long is too long to hold..??

-I would start to have concerns after about 12months...

But 2 years has worked well for some, if I remember correctly...

I personaly feel a Long Hold might start after 3-4 months..??

A good Hold should NOT have an END date..!! IMO...

 

Ps, I wouldnt worry about the type of benzo or medicine too much...

Reading and Sigs will help, if you have time...!!

 

Thanks for posting...

 

[[Ca...]]

NJ and Trishy, your words resonate with me so much, watching life go by and seeing all of the 'normal' people out having fun and missing it all. The magic in life that I used to experience daily is dull and grey. It is so frustrating and sad. I'm feeling it hard today so I don't have any great words of encouragement, just solidarity. Love to all.

[/quote

 

Hi Olive,

Seems there are a few of us having a tough time today, hang in there, hold tight my friend, there has to be brighter days ahead. For now we can take comfort in knowing that we're in this battle together , we will take care of each other and uplift one another when the days are sometimes "dull and gray "

So just know I'm feeling your pain too..along side you, like you said "solidarity". Sometimes a good cry is what's needed, a funny movie, a good book to get lost in, whatever you can think of that might lift your spirits, maybe there are days when nothing works and that's ok too as long as we don't get stuck in that dark hole. Stut reminded me that this unwanted journey we're on has a beginning, middle, and an END. I have to remind myself that this is temporary and not my "FOREVER" and it's not your "FOREVER" either.

Wishing you brighter days and " MAGICAL" tomorrow's..

Trish 

I realy related to this today... -So much lost..

My thoughts are with you all as we aim for a much better tomorrow...

 

NJ, -I smoke a little, and see some advantages in that rout for GI and sleep, but am no expert...

[[Su...]]

NJ and Trishy, your words resonate with me so much, watching life go by and seeing all of the 'normal' people out having fun and missing it all. The magic in life that I used to experience daily is dull and grey. It is so frustrating and sad. I'm feeling it hard today so I don't have any great words of encouragement, just solidarity. Love to all.

 

seems to be the "mood of the moment." I'm with you and I'm betting there are others here tonight in the same boat.

This boat that just goes on and on and on and on and on and on....

Looking for some magic though -- thanks guys for offering that word --

:smitten:

SS

[[...]]

Hi Everyone..

 

Just doing a bit of reflecting.. -bear with me...

 

When I joined BB I was pretty lost, -Over a year off insane high dose opiates and protracted, reducing Valium way too quick, and couldnt get answers from my Drs, -or info on BB that suited/fitted my situation..

I wouldnt say I was medically naive, I have a little background in natural medicine, But this was well beyond that...

 

I too, was given a little heads up about this group , and people here that had some pretty complex histories...

What I found was that the ones that were doing well had let go of the "noise", -all the thoughts that bring chaos and instibility... They were accepting of the simplicity of time and patience... Trusting in our bodys ability to heal...

 

I kept looking for easier or faster solutions, and made mistakes... I read up on the "science" stuff and appreciate the complexity of it all, but for most people I think its all "noise", and the take home message is simplicity, Quiet, Calm... -let our bodys guide us gently through...

 

Everything in our bodies seem to be affected, not just gabba n glutimate, our whole endocrine system, and some... Everything we try to "fix" is potentially throwing more disruption and chaos into the healing process... Obviously there are exceptions and some people do need medicine support, but to judge or diagnose this while in WD is kinda pointless, -beyond being safe (not everything is WD)... And if a Dr doesnt believe in Benzo Discontinuation Syndrome, they will find a diagnosis and medicine for Every symptom possible...

 

There seem to be two main schooos of thought on tapering.. Imho...

 

1, To safely taper to "0" and THEN start healing med free, The Ashton taper fits here... -and many will walk off fine with that...

 

2, A SLOW symptom based taper, allowing our bodys to heal as we try to maintain a level of symptoms that are mild enough to promote a relitivly stress free healing environment for our CNS as we taper.. No short cuts that might bite us at "X" number of months (or years) post taper...

 

Each to their own, A long Hold is a good tool for both...

But it is hard to maintain a Slow SX taper, when the priority is medication removal, rather than healing...

 

These are just MY quick thoughts, and I invite any comments...

 

A big thanks To Begood, Valleyum, and Lynn33 for showing me MY way...

Also thanks to Free, Miyu, Heath, Gard, NJ, SS, RST, Tntd, and so many more for walking beside me here before I was away for a while, and I welcome the newer faces and hope you all find the way that suits you best... (oh I hate doing names, -there are so many more...!!)

Thanks Stut for being the "glue" that helps holds this place together...

THank you Cant for this , it's a great post , I appreciate you here in this group very much too. I seek answers almost every day , anything that might relieve the suffering, but in the end , it's acceptance that seems to make the most difference in the process ,  I guess I haven't really found "my way' yet altogether , a way that I can find acceptance with on a daily basis.

I've  been a  bit down this weekend ... with the 'nature of this beast'. So I don't have much to say tonight ..

 

I will try and catch up soon  with what's happening with  everyone ,

 

in the meantime, I am so grateful for you all , for the support that I can't imagine going through this without.

much love,

MiYu

[[Ca...]]

Hi Everyone..

 

Just doing a bit of reflecting.. -bear with me...

 

When I joined BB I was pretty lost, -Over a year off insane high dose opiates and protracted, reducing Valium way too quick, and couldnt get answers from my Drs, -or info on BB that suited/fitted my situation..

I wouldnt say I was medically naive, I have a little background in natural medicine, But this was well beyond that...

 

I too, was given a little heads up about this group , and people here that had some pretty complex histories...

What I found was that the ones that were doing well had let go of the "noise", -all the thoughts that bring chaos and instibility... They were accepting of the simplicity of time and patience... Trusting in our bodys ability to heal...

 

I kept looking for easier or faster solutions, and made mistakes... I read up on the "science" stuff and appreciate the complexity of it all, but for most people I think its all "noise", and the take home message is simplicity, Quiet, Calm... -let our bodys guide us gently through...

 

Everything in our bodies seem to be affected, not just gabba n glutimate, our whole endocrine system, and some... Everything we try to "fix" is potentially throwing more disruption and chaos into the healing process... Obviously there are exceptions and some people do need medicine support, but to judge or diagnose this while in WD is kinda pointless, -beyond being safe (not everything is WD)... And if a Dr doesnt believe in Benzo Discontinuation Syndrome, they will find a diagnosis and medicine for Every symptom possible...

 

There seem to be two main schooos of thought on tapering.. Imho...

 

1, To safely taper to "0" and THEN start healing med free, The Ashton taper fits here... -and many will walk off fine with that...

 

2, A SLOW symptom based taper, allowing our bodys to heal as we try to maintain a level of symptoms that are mild enough to promote a relitivly stress free healing environment for our CNS as we taper.. No short cuts that might bite us at "X" number of months (or years) post taper...

 

Each to their own, A long Hold is a good tool for both...

But it is hard to maintain a Slow SX taper, when the priority is medication removal, rather than healing...

 

These are just MY quick thoughts, and I invite any comments...

 

A big thanks To Begood, Valleyum, and Lynn33 for showing me MY way...

Also thanks to Free, Miyu, Heath, Gard, NJ, SS, RST, Tntd, and so many more for walking beside me here before I was away for a while, and I welcome the newer faces and hope you all find the way that suits you best... (oh I hate doing names, -there are so many more...!!)

Thanks Stut for being the "glue" that helps holds this place together...

THank you Cant for this , it's a great post , I appreciate you here in this group very much too. I seek answers almost every day , anything that might relieve the suffering, but in the end , it's acceptance that seems to make the most difference in the process ,  I guess I haven't really found "my way' yet altogether , a way that I can find acceptance with on a daily basis.

I've  been a  bit down this weekend ... with the 'nature of this beast'. So I don't have much to say tonight ..

 

I will try and catch up soon  with what's happening with  everyone ,

 

in the meantime, I am so grateful for you all , for the support that I can't imagine going through this without.

much love,

MiYu

Hi MiYu,

I am sorry this is so hard on you, its been a long road... And I certainly didnt mean people should give up on looking for answers, as I believe they are there...

But I more meant the mind frame and position from which we do it...  One thing to be methodically advancing our knowledge and understanding of our bodies and chemistry and applying that to best use...

But its another to be frantically trying this that and everything else, because one "heard" it might have helped someone else, or a Dr uneducated in BWS thinks its worth a try (without valid reason)...

 

By the time people are considering a Hold, they are also considering the mindset that will serve them well.. -Quiet, calm... -Hang on a minute..

 

MiYu, I think you found a good level of the Quiet some time ago, or maybe better put, rational productive thought.. Pls dont let the doubt creep in, and I know it does, but let it pass and stay true to your goals.. I wish you every strength.. Feel better soon...

 

Sorry if my post didnt realy fit... I wrote it after being on the main boards for a bit, and everyone seemed to be flying every which way... -as have I in the past... As will others in the future...

 

 

 

 

 

[[St...]]

Hi Lavender l agree with Cant the length of time varies and generally people hold until they feel they can move forward.l think again everyone is different however I will say this tolerance withdrawal is used on this forum like some sort of bogey man.l was in tolerance withdrawal before l started my taper and withdrawal is in a whole different league so hold when and for as long as you need to.Well done for doing well in your taper and continue whatever way causes you the least suffering.

    Love Stut X

[[St...]]

Miyu,NJ, Trish,SS, MaryOlive and Bluepill this journey is soul destroying and l am not surprised despair and depression sets in.l hope you all have a few better days.Miyu you are right acceptance is the key however it is probably the most difficult part as we all want something to ease this.

    Love Stut X

[[St...]]

Begood,Heath,TMB,SC, Laura and everyone else l hope today is a calm day for you all.

    Love Stut X

[[St...]]

Hi Cant l hope your nerve pain has settled down.Are you in the middle of dealing with the flu or is it on it's way out?

  Love Stut X

[[be...]]

Begood,Heath,TMB,SC, Laura and everyone else l hope today is a calm day for you all.

    Love Stut X

Back at you Stut, have a good day and do your thing.💖 Peace and Healing Hugs.

[[Ca...]]

Hi Cant l hope your nerve pain has settled down.Are you in the middle of dealing with the flu or is it on it's way out?

  Love Stut X

Hey Stut..

Only a few stabs of nerve pain today, so neatly gone... Ty

Flu is about the same, but C-15 seems a bit better.. -We hanging in ok, but it sure makes things Seem worse, -just general being sick in WD stuff..!!

 

Hows things your end..??

 

[[St...]]

Cant glad to hear the nerve pain has lessened the flu does definitely make things a million times worse.Glad to hear C15 is nearly over it.

    I am ok glad to be able to get out and about.You know how it is up and down.Can't complain could be a lot worse.

  Love Stut X

[[Tr...]]

Miyu,NJ, Trish,SS, MaryOlive and Bluepill this journey is soul destroying and l am not surprised despair and depression sets in.l hope you all have a few better days.Miyu you are right acceptance is the key however it is probably the most difficult part as we all want something to ease this.

    Love Stut X

 

Hi Stut,

You're so right when you say " soul destroying" that's what it feels like at least.

As for "acceptance"  that for me is I think the most difficult. It's all so surreal. I wake up every morning and am slapped with the reality that yes this is really happening, it's another day of fighting to keep my sanity and manage symptoms of withdrawl and all the fears that come with this unwanted battle. It's a feeling of being stuck or trapped.

I was never good at living in the moment but I'm beginning to think it's the only way to navigate thorough this. I'm very good at what ifs, i'm great at projecting into the future and that's self destructive. We can only live for the day... easier said then done I know.

Thank God I have all of you when I get too caught up in my head and go off the rails so to speak.

Here's to living for the day.. or at least giving it our best with whatever challenges this day brings.

 

Love to all,

Trish

 

 

[[NJ...]]

Miyu,NJ, Trish,SS, MaryOlive and Bluepill this journey is soul destroying and l am not surprised despair and depression sets in.l hope you all have a few better days.Miyu you are right acceptance is the key however it is probably the most difficult part as we all want something to ease this.

    Love Stut X

 

Hi Stut,

You're so right when you say " soul destroying" that's what it feels like at least.

As for "acceptance"  that for me is I think the most difficult. It's all so surreal. I wake up every morning and am slapped with the reality that yes this is really happening, it's another day of fighting to keep my sanity and manage symptoms of withdrawl and all the fears that come with this unwanted battle. It's a feeling of being stuck or trapped.

I was never good at living in the moment but I'm beginning to think it's the only way to navigate thorough this. I'm very good at what ifs, i'm great at projecting into the future and that's self destructive. We can only live for the day... easier said then done I know.

Thank God I have all of you when I get too caught up in my head and go off the rails so to speak.

Here's to living for the day.. or at least giving it our best with whatever challenges this day brings.

 

Love to all,

Trish

 

Yes, soul destroying is unfortunately a good description. Every day I wake up, and cannot believe I still feel nauseous, I still did not sleep well. And I still have so much left to cut.

 

I thank everyone for their support. I am sure going through perio-menopause is not helping, but I am really struggling with how sick I feel every day, and having to push through every day. I am tired of working through this, but don't see how I can stop with college/private school bills--and I have seven more years of college payments. And I am terrified that I cannot seem to cut at all without worsening symptoms and I haven't cut very much in a year ... how do I get to zero at this pace? Do I even pretend to try to continue to taper or just hold where I am indefinitely. I am not sure I can do this for years and years more. Keep thinking about whether I should switch to valium but know others have not had a good experience with that. I hate to make things worse.

 

I tried some of my alcohol tincture last night with the medical marijuana. It did help a little with the nausea but not so much with the sleep, and I woke up incredibly nauseous (and exhausted) this morning. It is going to be a long Monday.

 

I hope that some people got some good sleep last night.

[[St...]]

NJ perhaps a switch would be a good thing for you as far as l can see valium seems to be more sedating so could help with sleep.I wish l could help you more l know l struggle with waves of extreme nausea but l don't know how l would cope if it were there all the time.

    Love Stut X

[[To...]]

Begood,Heath,TMB,SC, Laura and everyone else l hope today is a calm day for you all.

    Love Stut X

Thank you, Stut, and the best for your day as well.

 

House is now for sale and the amount of stress that involves on top of w/d is monumental.

 

 

 

[[St...]]

TMB my heart goes out to you.l hope the sale goes through quickly and all the stress you are suffering eases.You are so brave and strong.

  Love Stut X

[[Ca...]]

Begood,Heath,TMB,SC, Laura and everyone else l hope today is a calm day for you all.

    Love Stut X

Thank you, Stut, and the best for your day as well.

 

House is now for sale and the amount of stress that involves on top of w/d is monumental.

Oh I feel for you.. I know that one...!!

My big problem was lack or organisation or decision making... I think if you can step your way through it, addressing these, It might go far more smoothly...  Others here have done it with success, from memory...

I certainly wish you all the best...

May it all go well..

 

[[To...]]

TMB my heart goes out to you.l hope the sale goes through quickly and all the stress you are suffering eases.You are so brave and strong.

  Love Stut X

Thanks, Stut. Unfortunately, we will be losing an awful lot on the sale which has changed our entire retirement plan. Plus, I have not been able to work the past 2 years and maybe never again and have had to dip into savings much earlier. So, while it will be a relief to get out from under this house, the future is uncertain and, for me, a constant worry. The anxiety spikes are unlike anything I have ever experienced. Not the way I planned for things to go....

[[To...]]

Begood,Heath,TMB,SC, Laura and everyone else l hope today is a calm day for you all.

    Love Stut X

Thank you, Stut, and the best for your day as well.

 

House is now for sale and the amount of stress that involves on top of w/d is monumental.

Oh I feel for you.. I know that one...!!

My big problem was lack or organisation or decision making... I think if you can step your way through it, addressing these, It might go far more smoothly...  Others here have done it with success, from memory...

I certainly wish you all the best...

May it all go well..

Thanks, Cant. I have to first keep from feeling overwhelmed, even with an orderly list and low expectations. The overwhelmed feeling I often feel is paralyzing, which becomes a vicious cycle as the less I accomplish the higher the mountain of unfinished tasks becomes and the more paralysis I feel.

 

Decisions are the worst for me, I get into a loop and cannot get to the answer.

 

We have quite a few open items that need research and decisions - which significantly adds to the anxiety levels.

[[Sc...]]

NJ and Trishy, your words resonate with me so much, watching life go by and seeing all of the 'normal' people out having fun and missing it all. The magic in life that I used to experience daily is dull and grey. It is so frustrating and sad. I'm feeling it hard today so I don't have any great words of encouragement, just solidarity. Love to all.

Sorry all are feels no bad & having a hard time. Sorta my life story with depression & anxiety even pre taper, which I havnt had any good starting luck with yet.

 

Still trying to figure out what to cross to for k pin. Not sure where tntd is, but wonder what you crossed from too that put you in withdrawal for 2 months?

 

Olive kitty, when if you feel like it & very sorry if I’ve already asked, I’ll save it where I can find it now.

But what & why & how long were you on k pin & why did you cross to v & how did that go? Are you glad you did?

 

I’m so scared of changing k generics on top of the new ms support Meds, provigil, havnt tried yet, CBD oil, tried once, seemed to make me more tired & upset stomach but hard to say I’m so tired all the time. Still contemplating an antidepressant. Such a long taper ahead & such mood issues already.

 

Blue pill, I tried to respond to your other post elsewhere & got timed out. Thank you for your response. I’ll look for it again.

 

Thanks for listening & providing any feedback. Hope everyone is well. XX, SC