The Long Hold Support Group

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Hi Trishy:

It did help. I'm not endorsing it but I think it's likely what I should have been on (rather than a benzo) to deal with my sleep and health anxiety issues. I've only been on it for about 3 months (5 mg which is not technically considered therapeutic) but so far it's been enough to shave the edge off my general panic and some of the s/x that have cropped off during my long taper. It's certainly helped with my sleep. I will say the 2/3 weeks starting it were not easy and likely untenable for someone tapering. For me it was worth it and I'm glad I stuck with it. I hope to get off it when taper is over but we'll see. My general feeling is you get no points for being drug free and miserable in the end. The idea is to have a good life--whatever that means for you personally--minus benzos of course!! I know there are those who might disagree but that's my feeling. Hope this helps.

[[Sc...]]

Olive kitty,

provigil is not nearly as strong as adderal, I don’t believe. It’s a wake promoting agent. I don’t believe it’s habit forming nor causes tolerance like adderal. It could cause anxiety & or sleep disturbances, so I’ll approach with much caution. I really don’t know that much about it. I do appreciate your concern. I do have anxiety & sleep issues. My nuero feels my severe fatigue is caused by ms & or depression & this is often scripted for both. I’m already drinking a gallon of coffee a day, just trying to barely function which is throwing everything out of whack, very unhealthy etc. I’m willing to give this a try. I’m truely desperate. I’ve read reviews & people said they could nap on it. We’ll see

 

I concur on all the marriage stuff. To the t. Your advice to not talk about it with spouse is good for those that don’t & wont get it. Very helpful for me. Now I just need duct tape on mouth...

 

I can’t remember who said all’s good about the lexapro, sorry. But thanks. That’s helpful too.

 

Be well all, SC

[[Tr...]]

Hi Olive,

I can relate to everything you said. I get from my hubby..I just want you to be well and happy..I worry about you..I can hardly do my job..I just want my wife back etc..etc..

Stut gave me some good advice, I'm going to try and not talk about the taper as much, try and talk to him more about other things pre taper , and only vent here and with my therapist. I know he can never understand this and I tell him don't even try, only people going through it can understand , that I just need his support.

You're right though Olive 34yrs is a long time and I won't let the benzo devil take that away from me, it's already robbed me of enough.

Thanks for your input Olive,

Trish

 

Thank you bluepill for getting back to me..I guess I'll be making that decision whether or not to go on it.. For now I'm going to hold off as long as I can and see if the depression passes but good to know it was helpful!!

Trish

[[Tr...]]

Olive kitty,

provigil is not nearly as strong as adderal, I don’t believe. It’s a wake promoting agent. I don’t believe it’s habit forming nor causes tolerance like adderal. It could cause anxiety & or sleep disturbances, so I’ll approach with much caution. I really don’t know that much about it. I do appreciate your concern. I do have anxiety & sleep issues. My nuero feels my severe fatigue is caused by ms & or depression & this is often scripted for both. I’m already drinking a gallon of coffee a day, just trying to barely function which is throwing everything out of whack, very unhealthy etc. I’m willing to give this a try. I’m truely desperate. I’ve read reviews & people said they could nap on it. We’ll see

 

I concur on all the marriage stuff. To the t. Your advice to not talk about it with spouse is good for those that don’t & wont get it. Very helpful for me. Now I just need duct tape on mouth...

 

I can’t remember who said all’s good about the lexapro, sorry. But thanks. That’s helpful too.

 

Be well all, SC

 

SC, LOVE THE "DUCT TAPE ON THE MOUTH" comment..I almost peed my pants laughing when I read that! Felt good to laugh, I don't do that very much these days.

 

Take care,

Trish

[[He...]]

This was Posted by BEGOOD few pages back.......

“Hi Julianna, I think you will get a lot of support here. I am thinking that you are not kindled at all, I think as I said before you have gone pretty fast with your cuts, and there has been no lag time in between for your Brain to heal, I would be looking at a long hold. There is no time limit for the Brain to heal, so hunker down and be one with your decision. If one keeps trying to forge ahead and not ready, you will be staring down the rabbit hole of hell. Just be patient and trust the Process of Healing and Have Patience and Let Time Pass. Best to you and your journey.  Peace and Healing Hugs. ”

 

 

Golly BEGOOD,  I just love your posts☹️ You are always so right on! I am doing so much better since I started my hold, even with the little cheat that I did a while ago.

Bless you BEGOOD!

 

Heath

 

[[He...]]

NJ: thanks for kind words re award. It was sweet. These little moments do matter.

 

Heath: glad you slept. I was at a loss with the insomnia until I started the lexapro. Not proud that I had to add another drug during taper but it’s just something I’ll have to taper after this taper. It’s ok. Slow and steady. Whatever it takes for us

 

Stut; how you doing? Feeling ok?

[/quote/]

 

Thanks Bluepill

last night was a sleeping night 8 1/2 hours , night before 3 hours, that means tonight will be a very little sleep night. I don’t understand it but it’s every other night that I sleep!. I can’t figure it out!

Heath

Hope you feel better fast

 

 

 

[[Ca...]]

Cant, I am so sorry to hear you are battling nerve pain, I have never had this, but I know Free struggles with this and others here. Seems so unfair with all you have been through. I agree with Stut and you already know this...You are My Hero, I think I told you this many moons ago. I hope that the discomfort is easing up...scream all you want, release the pain. You are in my thoughts My Dear Friend. Stay Strong and Stand Tall. 💖 Peace and Healing Hugs.

Thanks BG, you are too kind..!!

All of you are..!! Free, Stut, Gard, Cally... -I sure hope I didnt miss anyone..?

 

These nerve pains are not benzo related, its physical damage.. In that, I am so lucky.. If it came to a tapering decision, -that a cut would increase or initiate them, I am not so sure how I would go.. One day a year is enough for me.. They have eased up lots today, but my head is still spinning from it..

 

The Flu hasnt taken proper hold, and can you blame it..? -I wouldnt want to live in me either..!!

 

Anyways,

Thanks..

 

 

 

 

 

[[St...]]

Hi Cant glad to hear your nerve pain has decreased that is brilliant.As for the flu now l hope you Aussies keep that one in your country this year as last winter Aussie flu nearly killed us lol.l hope you are up and about soon.How is C15?

    Love Stut X

[[St...]]

Begood,Heath, Blue, Miyu,Trish, Julianna,SC, Olive,TMB, Mary and everyone else sending you all hugs and hoping you all have a peaceful weekend.

  Love Stut X

[[Tr...]]

Thank you Stut,

Wishing you and all the others in the group the same!

Trish

[[be...]]

Cant, I am so sorry to hear you are battling nerve pain, I have never had this, but I know Free struggles with this and others here. Seems so unfair with all you have been through. I agree with Stut and you already know this...You are My Hero, I think I told you this many moons ago. I hope that the discomfort is easing up...scream all you want, release the pain. You are in my thoughts My Dear Friend. Stay Strong and Stand Tall. 💖 Peace and Healing Hugs.

Thanks BG, you are too kind..!!

All of you are..!! Free, Stut, Gard, Cally... -I sure hope I didnt miss anyone..?

 

These nerve pains are not benzo related, its physical damage.. In that, I am so lucky.. If it came to a tapering decision, -that a cut would increase or initiate them, I am not so sure how I would go.. One day a year is enough for me.. They have eased up lots today, but my head is still spinning from it..

 

The Flu hasnt taken proper hold, and can you blame it..? -I wouldnt want to live in me either..!!

 

Anyways,

Thanks..

Hopefully the Flu will just move on. Glad your nerve pain is better, hang in there as you always do. Hope C15 is doing better. Have a nice Evening.💖 Peace and Healing Vibes.

[[be...]]

This was Posted by BEGOOD few pages back.......

“Hi Julianna, I think you will get a lot of support here. I am thinking that you are not kindled at all, I think as I said before you have gone pretty fast with your cuts, and there has been no lag time in between for your Brain to heal, I would be looking at a long hold. There is no time limit for the Brain to heal, so hunker down and be one with your decision. If one keeps trying to forge ahead and not ready, you will be staring down the rabbit hole of hell. Just be patient and trust the Process of Healing and Have Patience and Let Time Pass. Best to you and your journey.  Peace and Healing Hugs. ”

 

 

Golly BEGOOD,  I just love your posts☹️ You are always so right on! I am doing so much better since I started my hold, even with the little cheat that I did a while ago.

Bless you BEGOOD!

 

Heath

Heath, thanks for reading and I have one word for you as you go through your taper and holds..."BELIEVE.." 💖 Peace and Healing Hugs.

[[be...]]

Begood,Heath, Blue, Miyu,Trish, Julianna,SC, Olive,TMB, Mary and everyone else sending you all hugs and hoping you all have a peaceful weekend.

  Love Stut X

Morning Stut, hope that all is going well for you with your hold, and may the day be good for you. 💖 Peace and Healing Hugs.

[[Ca...]]

Hi Everyone..

 

Just doing a bit of reflecting.. -bear with me...

 

When I joined BB I was pretty lost, -Over a year off insane high dose opiates and protracted, reducing Valium way too quick, and couldnt get answers from my Drs, -or info on BB that suited/fitted my situation..

I wouldnt say I was medically naive, I have a little background in natural medicine, But this was well beyond that...

 

I too, was given a little heads up about this group , and people here that had some pretty complex histories...

What I found was that the ones that were doing well had let go of the "noise", -all the thoughts that bring chaos and instibility... They were accepting of the simplicity of time and patience... Trusting in our bodys ability to heal...

 

I kept looking for easier or faster solutions, and made mistakes... I read up on the "science" stuff and appreciate the complexity of it all, but for most people I think its all "noise", and the take home message is simplicity, Quiet, Calm... -let our bodys guide us gently through...

 

Everything in our bodies seem to be affected, not just gabba n glutimate, our whole endocrine system, and some... Everything we try to "fix" is potentially throwing more disruption and chaos into the healing process... Obviously there are exceptions and some people do need medicine support, but to judge or diagnose this while in WD is kinda pointless, -beyond being safe (not everything is WD)... And if a Dr doesnt believe in Benzo Discontinuation Syndrome, they will find a diagnosis and medicine for Every symptom possible...

 

There seem to be two main schooos of thought on tapering.. Imho...

 

1, To safely taper to "0" and THEN start healing med free, The Ashton taper fits here... -and many will walk off fine with that...

 

2, A SLOW symptom based taper, allowing our bodys to heal as we try to maintain a level of symptoms that are mild enough to promote a relitivly stress free healing environment for our CNS as we taper.. No short cuts that might bite us at "X" number of months (or years) post taper...

 

Each to their own, A long Hold is a good tool for both...

But it is hard to maintain a Slow SX taper, when the priority is medication removal, rather than healing...

 

These are just MY quick thoughts, and I invite any comments...

 

A big thanks To Begood, Valleyum, and Lynn33 for showing me MY way...

Also thanks to Free, Miyu, Heath, Gard, NJ, SS, RST, Tntd, and so many more for walking beside me here before I was away for a while, and I welcome the newer faces and hope you all find the way that suits you best... (oh I hate doing names, -there are so many more...!!)

Thanks Stut for being the "glue" that helps holds this place together...

 

 

 

 

 

[[Ca...]]

Hi Cant glad to hear your nerve pain has decreased that is brilliant.As for the flu now l hope you Aussies keep that one in your country this year as last winter Aussie flu nearly killed us lol.l hope you are up and about soon.How is C15?

    Love Stut X

Did You read my blog post..??

I found some crazy stuff online about 2018/19 flu "********"

Kinda post Apocalyptic stuff...

-we dont get much in the way of Earthquakes here..

C15 is much better.. -echinacea...!!

He cleaned all night and morning, and is throwing a small party... -flu party..??!!

Hope you are well also..?

 

[[Ma...]]

Begood,Heath, Blue, Miyu,Trish, Julianna,SC, Olive,TMB, Mary and everyone else sending you all hugs and hoping you all have a peaceful weekend.

  Love Stut X

 

Morning all, especially Mrs Stut X, ❤️  ..hope you all have the best weekend possible.......healthy thoughts

[[St...]]

Cant if that Aussie flu hits again this year l swear l won't be leaving the house.From December to l think February everyone had it and it kept mutating from one person to the other.l never saw anything like it.

    Glad to hear C15 is on the mend.Any excuse for a party lol.I have to say l am doing ok went to the beach yesterday and out for tea.Things l could not have done even three months ago.l am so pleased.

    Brilliant post mate you are the one most people learn from as you have experience with other drugs as well.Enjoy the chaos

    Love Stut X

[[Ca...]]

Begood,Heath, Blue, Miyu,Trish, Julianna,SC, Olive,TMB, Mary and everyone else sending you all hugs and hoping you all have a peaceful weekend.

  Love Stut X

 

Morning all, especially Mrs Stut X, ❤️  ..hope you all have the best weekend possible.......healthy thoughts

Hiya Mary..!!!

Always a pleasure to see You..!!

Hope you are doing well..??

 

[[Sc...]]

Hope all have a good weekend. Thatnks Stut for shout out. Trisha, so glad you laughed! Can’t thanks for words of wisdom. MiYu, Heath, tntd, all of you in this group. Thanks for support. Be well, SC

[[Ca...]]

Cant if that Aussie flu hits again this year l swear l won't be leaving the house.From December to l think February everyone had it and it kept mutating from one person to the other.l never saw anything like it.

    Glad to hear C15 is on the mend.Any excuse for a party lol.I have to say l am doing ok went to the beach yesterday and out for tea.Things l could not have done even three months ago.l am so pleased.

    Brilliant post mate you are the one most people learn from as you have experience with other drugs as well.Enjoy the chaos

    Love Stut X

WOW..

Stut That is awesome..!!

Most start with a trip to the letterbox... -but you go surfing and fine dining...!!

Seriously, It is so good for us to feed every experience and sensory imput into our brains when we can, or are ready... wholistic healing and all...

But just simply the achievement, the taste of normal, and the contrast to the bad times make it extra special...

well done..!!

 

You are too kind, but the beauty of here is its everyone in their own special way contributing as they can... It doesnt even have to be words, sometimes just a presence means so much...

 

We Can,

We Will,

-We ARE...!!

 

***

Hi SC,

You have a great weekend too...

 

 

[[bl...]]

Ugh. I try not to post to much about this because I know it’s unusual and maybe not even benzos—tho dr says doesn’t think it’s rheumatological, but now my freezing hands are burning hot and itchy. Woke me up last night. Fingers swollen this morning and numb. Ugh, ugh, ugh...thanks for listening buddies. Hope you have a good weekend. I’m so stressed. Trying not to google.

[[St...]]

Hi Bluepill l can't really help you with this one however it could well be benzo withdrawal.Now l think you should get your doctor to refer you to a specialist to get it checked out.l think sometimes we blame withdrawal for everything but sometimes it would be wise to get things checked out.l am not saying it isn't withdrawal but just to err on the side of caution get a few tests done.Don't use doctor Google please it's not a diagnostic tool and you will scare yourself.

    Love Stut X

[[Tr...]]

Can't, I'm gonna second SC..Really loved your post and words of wisdom, I even teared up.. But I do that a lot lately. I hope that nerve pain of yours lets up can't imagine how painful that must be 

Stut , you're awesome!!

Bluepill, I'm sorry you're stressed.. Me too , you're not alone I'm suffering with heart Palps on this beautiful Saturday. I understand your fear..

If there's anyone else in the group suffering today my heart goes out to you.

Be well EVERYONE..

LOVE TO YOU ALL, 

Trish

 

[[bl...]]

Thanks Stut and Trishy:

I've been to doctors about hands. So, so many. GP, Neuro, Rhem, you name it. One irregular markers but not enough to diagnose anything, which I guess is good. It's just hard to deal with--not knowing. I know too well how easy it is to blame drugs --other things do happen in w/d----I've done due diligence so not sure what my options are but to wait it out. Sigh. Happy Saturday??

Thanks for listening

[[Sc...]]

Ugh. I try not to post to much about this because I know it’s unusual and maybe not even benzos—tho dr says doesn’t think it’s rheumatological, but now my freezing hands are burning hot and itchy. Woke me up last night. Fingers swollen this morning and numb. Ugh, ugh, ugh...thanks for listening buddies. Hope you have a good weekend. I’m so stressed. Trying not to google.

I’m not sure. Sorry to hear. Hope it resolves asap.

Have you been tested for carpal tunnel? That’s caused me to wake up with swollen painful, numb, fingers? I think cubical tunele can cause numb fingers too.

Be well, SC

Good night all hope all are well