The Long Hold Support Group

[[Su...]]

Welp,

I discovered that holding for two months isn't enough.... :'( tried two days of DLMT at .001mg a day and I'm back in the thick of it. 

Not pea soup thick, but remembering what it feels like to feel like s--t all day....

Guess it's back to holding.

Dang I really expected things to be easier.....

That Beast! has really got his claws into me.

And I am pretty convinced that I am kindled -- that dreaded word.  When I look back at my hx I see there are numerous times that I was on a benzo or Z drug, some for very short periods of time.  Never have experienced anything like this.  Or maybe I did but put it down to something else.

I know for sure that I came down from a much higher dose of Xanax -- for VERY short periods of time -- to almost nothing very easily.

Feeling pretty discouraged today at the years it will take of measuring out that liquid and measuring the days in 3 hour increments...

But that's the road we're all on right?

SS

[[NJ...]]

SS

 

Yes same road for all of us!

[[Su...]]

SS

 

Yes same road for all of us!

 

Thanks NJ.... what a road!

 

[[Ma...]]

Welp,

I discovered that holding for two months isn't enough.... :'( tried two days of DLMT at .001mg a day and I'm back in the thick of it. 

Not pea soup thick, but remembering what it feels like to feel like s--t all day....

Guess it's back to holding.

Dang I really expected things to be easier.....

That Beast! has really got his claws into me.

And I am pretty convinced that I am kindled -- that dreaded word.  When I look back at my hx I see there are numerous times that I was on a benzo or Z drug, some for very short periods of time.  Never have experienced anything like this.  Or maybe I did but put it down to something else.

I know for sure that I came down from a much higher dose of Xanax -- for VERY short periods of time -- to almost nothing very easily.

Feeling pretty discouraged today at the years it will take of measuring out that liquid and measuring the days in 3 hour increments...

But that's the road we're all on right?

SS

 

I'm so sorry SS that you are feeling so bad.  My thoughts and heathy wishes are with you 

[[To...]]

Welp,

I discovered that holding for two months isn't enough.... :'( tried two days of DLMT at .001mg a day and I'm back in the thick of it. 

Not pea soup thick, but remembering what it feels like to feel like s--t all day....

Guess it's back to holding.

Dang I really expected things to be easier.....

That Beast! has really got his claws into me.

And I am pretty convinced that I am kindled -- that dreaded word.  When I look back at my hx I see there are numerous times that I was on a benzo or Z drug, some for very short periods of time.  Never have experienced anything like this.  Or maybe I did but put it down to something else.

I know for sure that I came down from a much higher dose of Xanax -- for VERY short periods of time -- to almost nothing very easily.

Feeling pretty discouraged today at the years it will take of measuring out that liquid and measuring the days in 3 hour increments...

But that's the road we're all on right?

SS

SS - I'm sorry that your DLMT cuts caused w/d sxs. You are right calling it the 'Beast'.

 

You will regroup and get back on track. This whole damn process is discouraging!

[[Sc...]]

Welp,

I discovered that holding for two months isn't enough.... :'( tried two days of DLMT at .001mg a day and I'm back in the thick of it. 

Not pea soup thick, but remembering what it feels like to feel like s--t all day....

Guess it's back to holding.

Dang I really expected things to be easier.....

That Beast! has really got his claws into me.

And I am pretty convinced that I am kindled -- that dreaded word.  When I look back at my hx I see there are numerous times that I was on a benzo or Z drug, some for very short periods of time.  Never have experienced anything like this.  Or maybe I did but put it down to something else.

I know for sure that I came down from a much higher dose of Xanax -- for VERY short periods of time -- to almost nothing very easily.

Feeling pretty discouraged today at the years it will take of measuring out that liquid and measuring the days in 3 hour increments...

But that's the road we're all on right?

SS

So sorry to hear suffering sixty. Maybe you’ll level out.?. I hope you feel better soon.

 

I’m thinking I’m definitely kindled too. I’ve just begun, decided to dry cut .25 from total 3.5 mg for past two days because I can’t stand the day time sedation, instead of dlmt, to get rid of sleepies sooner. Maybe I wasn’t stable enough to begin. I’ll copy/paste what I just wrote in klonopin club. Please anyone feel free to chime in. I’ve never done this before, but so want off.

 

Does any of the following sound like Normal benzo withdrawal? & so early?

 

Hi all,

I’m only on day two of cutting .25 from 12pm dose out of total of 3.5mg per day. I’m feeling really bad. Nauseous, headache, jaw ache, fatigue, then the worst of all, just broke down with sobbing depression out of the blue when someone just upset me, it was like the end of the world & I couldn’t calm down. I knew it was withdrawal depression or else I would’ve felt like I needed to check myself in somewhere.

 

I know they say you can cut more when your on a higher dose, & I’m wanting too, to be rid of this sedation, but this stuff is coming at me fast. That meltdown scared me, came out of no where & left as fast as it came? Like I’m bipolar or something.

 

I’m so disappointed because last evening I was being silly, had old rap songs popping into my head out of no where & was in good spirits. Thought I had some less sedation after my cut.

 

I took a different generic for my cut dose today, got blurry vision, then fell asleep.

 

Took evening dose an hour late. Could that have played into meltdown.

 

Is this how dry cut & hold tapers go? Do I sound too unstable to continue at this rate? I can’t break down in public like that.

 

Should I updose before I’m too much further along? Hold? Reinstate?

 

All experiences input appreciated...sorry for novel

 

Thank you

 

Feel better soon SS

 

 

[[Su...]]

Thanks Mary and TMB,

It's great to feel understood.  Those around me do try, but it's and impossibility for them to know what we are all going through....

It's up to all of us I figure!  (to understand us that is).

SS

[[Sc...]]

Not sure if you got, but I sure hope you feel better soon too. SS

Sorry if my hope you feel better was attached to my own cry for help....selfish of me

You’ve been so kind & generous. Sending get better vibes

[[ga...]]

Welp,

I discovered that holding for two months isn't enough.... :'( tried two days of DLMT at .001mg a day and I'm back in the thick of it. 

Not pea soup thick, but remembering what it feels like to feel like s--t all day....

Guess it's back to holding.

Dang I really expected things to be easier.....

That Beast! has really got his claws into me.

And I am pretty convinced that I am kindled -- that dreaded word.  When I look back at my hx I see there are numerous times that I was on a benzo or Z drug, some for very short periods of time.  Never have experienced anything like this.  Or maybe I did but put it down to something else.

I know for sure that I came down from a much higher dose of Xanax -- for VERY short periods of time -- to almost nothing very easily.

Feeling pretty discouraged today at the years it will take of measuring out that liquid and measuring the days in 3 hour increments...

But that's the road we're all on right?

SS

 

I'm so sorry, SS. But I am sure that a longer hold will do the trick. Even after my super-long hold, I'm still doing short holds here and there. I hate treading water, but it's always worth it in the end.

Gard

[[Su...]]

Not sure if you got, but I sure hope you feel better soon too. SS

Sorry if my hope you feel better was attached to my own cry for help....selfish of me

You’ve been so kind & generous. Sending get better vibes

 

No Scardie!  I think that our posts just got crossed!  Nothing wrong with what you did, that happens sometimes....

Thanks you for your support as well.

SS

[[Su...]]

Welp,

I discovered that holding for two months isn't enough.... :'( tried two days of DLMT at .001mg a day and I'm back in the thick of it. 

Not pea soup thick, but remembering what it feels like to feel like s--t all day....

Guess it's back to holding.

Dang I really expected things to be easier.....

That Beast! has really got his claws into me.

And I am pretty convinced that I am kindled -- that dreaded word.  When I look back at my hx I see there are numerous times that I was on a benzo or Z drug, some for very short periods of time.  Never have experienced anything like this.  Or maybe I did but put it down to something else.

I know for sure that I came down from a much higher dose of Xanax -- for VERY short periods of time -- to almost nothing very easily.

Feeling pretty discouraged today at the years it will take of measuring out that liquid and measuring the days in 3 hour increments...

But that's the road we're all on right?

SS

 

I'm so sorry, SS. But I am sure that a longer hold will do the trick. Even after my super-long hold, I'm still doing short holds here and there. I hate treading water, but it's always worth it in the end.

Gard

Thanks Gard,

Yup I guess I was feeling so good that I though i must be well enough to taper.  I've tapered for two days, but I guess it's still back to day 1 of a hold.

Yowza!  I so want it to be worth it in the end.  That I can taper with minimal sxs....

I guess I was just "pushing the river" as they say...

SS

 

[[Ca...]]

Hey SS...

Sorry its been hard for you... You put in such a solid effort, I have no doubt it will pay off for you...

 

I am starting to think that the initial few cuts after a hold may be critical for very sensitive people (Us)...

I could never test this doing a cut and hold, but I wonder if titrating up to a micro cut dose over a few days? Would help...??

One could possibly do this by cutting once then hold a couple of days, then cut again, etc...??

 

Just thoughts, not advice as such...

 

Hope you feel better real soon...

 

[[Su...]]

Hey SS...

Sorry its been hard for you... You put in such a solid effort, I have no doubt it will pay off for you...

 

I am starting to think that the initial few cuts after a hold may be critical for very sensitive people (Us)...

I could never test this doing a cut and hold, but I wonder if titrating up to a micro cut dose over a few days? Would help...??

One could possibly do this by cutting once then hold a couple of days, then cut again, etc...??

 

Just thoughts, not advice as such...

 

Hope you feel better real soon...

That sure is worth a try...  And I can imagine that the body is very surprised by this turn of events --  "hey I though we weren't cutting any more"

so sensitive.... dang it all!

Thanks Cant

SS

[[Ol...]]

Welp,

I discovered that holding for two months isn't enough.... :'( tried two days of DLMT at .001mg a day and I'm back in the thick of it. 

Not pea soup thick, but remembering what it feels like to feel like s--t all day....

Guess it's back to holding.

Dang I really expected things to be easier.....

That Beast! has really got his claws into me.

And I am pretty convinced that I am kindled -- that dreaded word.  When I look back at my hx I see there are numerous times that I was on a benzo or Z drug, some for very short periods of time.  Never have experienced anything like this.  Or maybe I did but put it down to something else.

I know for sure that I came down from a much higher dose of Xanax -- for VERY short periods of time -- to almost nothing very easily.

Feeling pretty discouraged today at the years it will take of measuring out that liquid and measuring the days in 3 hour increments...

But that's the road we're all on right?

SS

So sorry to hear suffering sixty. Maybe you’ll level out.?. I hope you feel better soon.

 

I’m thinking I’m definitely kindled too. I’ve just begun, decided to dry cut .25 from total 3.5 mg for past two days because I can’t stand the day time sedation, instead of dlmt, to get rid of sleepies sooner. Maybe I wasn’t stable enough to begin. I’ll copy/paste what I just wrote in klonopin club. Please anyone feel free to chime in. I’ve never done this before, but so want off.

 

Does any of the following sound like Normal benzo withdrawal? & so early?

 

Hi all,

I’m only on day two of cutting .25 from 12pm dose out of total of 3.5mg per day. I’m feeling really bad. Nauseous, headache, jaw ache, fatigue, then the worst of all, just broke down with sobbing depression out of the blue when someone just upset me, it was like the end of the world & I couldn’t calm down. I knew it was withdrawal depression or else I would’ve felt like I needed to check myself in somewhere.

 

I know they say you can cut more when your on a higher dose, & I’m wanting too, to be rid of this sedation, but this stuff is coming at me fast. That meltdown scared me, came out of no where & left as fast as it came? Like I’m bipolar or something.

 

I’m so disappointed because last evening I was being silly, had old rap songs popping into my head out of no where & was in good spirits. Thought I had some less sedation after my cut.

 

I took a different generic for my cut dose today, got blurry vision, then fell asleep.

 

Took evening dose an hour late. Could that have played into meltdown.

 

Is this how dry cut & hold tapers go? Do I sound too unstable to continue at this rate? I can’t break down in public like that.

 

Should I updose before I’m too much further along? Hold? Reinstate?

 

All experiences input appreciated...sorry for novel

 

Thank you

 

Feel better soon SS

 

Hi Scaredie, I'm sorry you are feeling bad. Could the generic K have anything to do with it? I have read on the fb forum that Teva has discontinued making Klonopin, do you know if this is true? Other people have mentioned that the generic is not treating them well. Sending you healing love.

[[St...]]

Hi all.SS l think 2 months definitely isn't enough.l think I held for about 6 weeks at a stage and it didn't make a bit of difference.Hopefully a longer hold will do the trick.It is so frustrating when this happens but l think you will find a longer hold does the trick.

    Hi Chenka you are not pissing anyone off trust me we have to all find our own way through this.Long holds are not easy they take a lot of patience and they can be very very frustrating.I will say this there are very few that have tapered slowly and reinstated generally people who have had to reinstate say their taper was too fast.That is only my opinion for what it is worth.

      Love Stut X

[[St...]]

Hi Scardie l am not going to give you advice on tapering k as l am not on it however l will say this l have read some of your posts and you seem to be very anxious about this taper.l think you must find ways to reduce your anxiety as anxiety heightens withdrawal symptoms.This site is a marvelous resource but it can also be terrifying so please don't read too much into the horror stories.

      Love Stut X

[[Sc...]]

Welp,

I discovered that holding for two months isn't enough.... :'( tried two days of DLMT at .001mg a day and I'm back in the thick of it. 

Not pea soup thick, but remembering what it feels like to feel like s--t all day....

Guess it's back to holding.

Dang I really expected things to be easier.....

That Beast! has really got his claws into me.

And I am pretty convinced that I am kindled -- that dreaded word.  When I look back at my hx I see there are numerous times that I was on a benzo or Z drug, some for very short periods of time.  Never have experienced anything like this.  Or maybe I did but put it down to something else.

I know for sure that I came down from a much higher dose of Xanax -- for VERY short periods of time -- to almost nothing very easily.

Feeling pretty discouraged today at the years it will take of measuring out that liquid and measuring the days in 3 hour increments...

But that's the road we're all on right?

SS

So sorry to hear suffering sixty. Maybe you’ll level out.?. I hope you feel better soon.

 

I’m thinking I’m definitely kindled too. I’ve just begun, decided to dry cut .25 from total 3.5 mg for past two days because I can’t stand the day time sedation, instead of dlmt, to get rid of sleepies sooner. Maybe I wasn’t stable enough to begin. I’ll copy/paste what I just wrote in klonopin club. Please anyone feel free to chime in. I’ve never done this before, but so want off.

 

Does any of the following sound like Normal benzo withdrawal? & so early?

 

Hi all,

I’m only on day two of cutting .25 from 12pm dose out of total of 3.5mg per day. I’m feeling really bad. Nauseous, headache, jaw ache, fatigue, then the worst of all, just broke down with sobbing depression out of the blue when someone just upset me, it was like the end of the world & I couldn’t calm down. I knew it was withdrawal depression or else I would’ve felt like I needed to check myself in somewhere.

 

I know they say you can cut more when your on a higher dose, & I’m wanting too, to be rid of this sedation, but this stuff is coming at me fast. That meltdown scared me, came out of no where & left as fast as it came? Like I’m bipolar or something.

 

I’m so disappointed because last evening I was being silly, had old rap songs popping into my head out of no where & was in good spirits. Thought I had some less sedation after my cut.

 

I took a different generic for my cut dose today, got blurry vision, then fell asleep.

 

Took evening dose an hour late. Could that have played into meltdown.

 

Is this how dry cut & hold tapers go? Do I sound too unstable to continue at this rate? I can’t break down in public like that.

 

Should I updose before I’m too much further along? Hold? Reinstate?

 

All experiences input appreciated...sorry for novel

 

Thank you

 

Feel better soon SS

 

Hi Scaredie, I'm sorry you are feeling bad. Could the generic K have anything to do with it? I have read on the fb forum that Teva has discontinued making Klonopin, do you know if this is true? Other people have mentioned that the generic is not treating them well. Sending you healing love.

Thank you olive kitty. Well yes teva that I’ve been taking everyday for 8 years is discontinued. But I’ve had some left. I took .25 of the new generic for my cut yesterday, which seemed to knock me out, so it may have played into yesterday’s meltdown, not sure, but I’ve had nausea since my first cut 2 days ago, well today will be day three. My prescription is for 4mg a day, but I’ve mostly remained at 3.5, but have also up/down dosed over the past months so not a stead 3.5 per day.

 

Could it be that I need to start from a more stable place? Like hold everything @3.5 total per day for a month. Then retry. Everyone says you should start from a stable place. I’m not sure what happens if you don’t? Maybe this? But am I setting self up to continue on unstable throughout?

 

I’m going to start therapy, but am on a waiting list for a month.

If one starts out nautilus does that go away?

Maybe I should reinstate while I figure out which new generic I’m going to go with & work on coping shills?

 

Thank you, Stut. Yes the stories do scare me & I am anxious about starting taper. But I had overcome that anxiety until I gat withdrawal sxs on only days 1 & 2 of starting. Perhaps I should try to reinstate & stabilize as I work on coping skills? Try to see which generic I’m going to go with.

Is it normal to start off with withdrawal on day one?

 

Thank you both not sure what to do

[[Gr...]]

SS - I totally understand. I have been holding two months as well, and so has Kristin, who is active on the under .125mg thread and she just tried the same thing as you and it also backfired for her.    I have now made the decision for me, to hold until July 7th.  It is sort of arbitrary but I have some thing in life coming up that I just want to be present for, so I'm holding off until then, at least.  I feel better just making the decision to not cut until then. 

 

I actually am so afraid to cut again.  I remember how awful I felt and I never want to feel that awful again. 

[[To...]]

SS - I totally understand. I have been holding two months as well, and so has Kristin, who is active on the under .125mg thread and she just tried the same thing as you and it also backfired for her.    I have now made the decision for me, to hold until July 7th.  It is sort of arbitrary but I have some thing in life coming up that I just want to be present for, so I'm holding off until then, at least.  I feel better just making the decision to not cut until then. 

 

I actually am so afraid to cut again.  I remember how awful I felt and I never want to feel that awful again.

Sounds like a good decision, GC. Get past the life event and see if your fear of the next cut is lessened or that you are in a better position to manage it.

[[Su...]]

Hi Scardie l am not going to give you advice on tapering k as l am not on it however l will say this l have read some of your posts and you seem to be very anxious about this taper.l think you must find ways to reduce your anxiety as anxiety heightens withdrawal symptoms.This site is a marvelous resource but it can also be terrifying so please don't read too much into the horror stories.

      Love Stut X

 

:thumbsup:

SS

[[Sc...]]

Welp,

I discovered that holding for two months isn't enough.... :'( tried two days of DLMT at .001mg a day and I'm back in the thick of it. 

Not pea soup thick, but remembering what it feels like to feel like s--t all day....

Guess it's back to holding.

Dang I really expected things to be easier.....

That Beast! has really got his claws into me.

And I am pretty convinced that I am kindled -- that dreaded word.  When I look back at my hx I see there are numerous times that I was on a benzo or Z drug, some for very short periods of time.  Never have experienced anything like this.  Or maybe I did but put it down to something else.

I know for sure that I came down from a much higher dose of Xanax -- for VERY short periods of time -- to almost nothing very easily.

Feeling pretty discouraged today at the years it will take of measuring out that liquid and measuring the days in 3 hour increments...

But that's the road we're all on right?

SS

So sorry to hear suffering sixty. Maybe you’ll level out.?. I hope you feel better soon.

 

I’m thinking I’m definitely kindled too. I’ve just begun, decided to dry cut .25 from total 3.5 mg for past two days because I can’t stand the day time sedation, instead of dlmt, to get rid of sleepies sooner. Maybe I wasn’t stable enough to begin. I’ll copy/paste what I just wrote in klonopin club. Please anyone feel free to chime in. I’ve never done this before, but so want off.

 

Does any of the following sound like Normal benzo withdrawal? & so early?

 

Hi all,

I’m only on day two of cutting .25 from 12pm dose out of total of 3.5mg per day. I’m feeling really bad. Nauseous, headache, jaw ache, fatigue, then the worst of all, just broke down with sobbing depression out of the blue when someone just upset me, it was like the end of the world & I couldn’t calm down. I knew it was withdrawal depression or else I would’ve felt like I needed to check myself in somewhere.

 

I know they say you can cut more when your on a higher dose, & I’m wanting too, to be rid of this sedation, but this stuff is coming at me fast. That meltdown scared me, came out of no where & left as fast as it came? Like I’m bipolar or something.

 

I’m so disappointed because last evening I was being silly, had old rap songs popping into my head out of no where & was in good spirits. Thought I had some less sedation after my cut.

 

I took a different generic for my cut dose today, got blurry vision, then fell asleep.

 

Took evening dose an hour late. Could that have played into meltdown.

 

Is this how dry cut & hold tapers go? Do I sound too unstable to continue at this rate? I can’t break down in public like that.

 

Should I updose before I’m too much further along? Hold? Reinstate?

 

All experiences input appreciated...sorry for novel

 

Thank you

 

Feel better soon SS

 

Hi Scaredie, I'm sorry you are feeling bad. Could the generic K have anything to do with it? I have read on the fb forum that Teva has discontinued making Klonopin, do you know if this is true? Other people have mentioned that the generic is not treating them well. Sending you healing love.

Hi olive kitty what is the name of the Facebook forum? Maybe I can find out more about a suitable teva substitute for clonazapam there. Thank you

[[Su...]]

SS - I totally understand. I have been holding two months as well, and so has Kristin, who is active on the under .125mg thread and she just tried the same thing as you and it also backfired for her.    I have now made the decision for me, to hold until July 7th.  It is sort of arbitrary but I have some thing in life coming up that I just want to be present for, so I'm holding off until then, at least.  I feel better just making the decision to not cut until then. 

 

I actually am so afraid to cut again.  I remember how awful I felt and I never want to feel that awful again.

Hi GC,

Yes it's good to know that others' have had the same response -- not that i wish sxs on anyone!!

There is that fear of cutting that is creeping in and that is bound to affect this whole thing for me as well.  I did hold last night -- of course-- and today can feel a bit better and at least say to myself I'm down .002mg -- that's something!

 

Good plan to stave off cutting until after the life event.  I sure plan my cuts and tapers around that kind of thing when I can.

Thanks for it all GC!

SS

[[Ol...]]

Hi Scaredie,

The fb forum is called Benzodiazepine Recovery. I recently joined and I'm still not sure about it. There are a lot of very desperate people there and it moves a lot quicker than here, I think for anyone with high anxiety it might not be the best platform. At least turn off notifications for posts because people pot there A LOT.

[[Sc...]]

Thank you Olive kitty. And for the heads up about how it is too.

[[Sc...]]

Well I’m not in this group, but poking around everywhere about teva clonazapam alternative.

 

Update-holding @3.25 my first ‘real’, I’m gonna stick with it cut

 

Does anyone who teva clonazapam agreed with have any ideas of a comparable generic?

 

All experiences/input welcome, I realize we’re all different.

 

I’d really like to know what I’m going to be able to commence this taper with & my tevas are almost gone.

 

TEVA ALTERNATIVE EQUIVALENT?

 

Hope all are well!

 

THANK YOU