The Long Hold Support Group

[[Ol...]]

Have most of you healed in a hold that lasts three months?  And then able to reduce further without bad symptoms?

 

I read on this thread of a six-month hold before getting off the last 1 mg. of Valium.  And then reducing only .1 mg. Valium per month.

 

Someone else said that I could jump at 1 mg. Valium.

 

So the advice is conflicting. 

 

I appreciate this thread very much.  I healed from fatigue in my two-year hold; it took me a year and nine months of fatigue, but then it lifted.  So I was able to go pretty fast as I reduced from 4 mg.

 

Holds work.  It does get tedious, and it is hard to be patient in a hold.

 

Thank you for reading and reflecting on my questions.

 

This is obviously only my opinion and I don't think there is any real research.

 

I don't think you heal in a six month hold; but I think there is significant healing during that time. And, as you found from your two year hold, I think that long holds can get us to a place where we can taper again.

 

I am not near the end of my taper and not on V, but I would continue to taper down to ensure a smoother walk off, as others have advised.

 

Your story of your two year hold and others who have done really long holds may have me rethinking what I do next. I haven't updated my signature yet but updosed back to .4 mg of K from .35 on Tuesday. I seem to be having some reduction in the nausea, which may be coincidence, have to see. My plan was to hold here until mid-August but maybe longer does make sense. It is so hard not to push and rush, but every time I do that I get in trouble. And my life continues to be a tad more stressful than I would like right now. The transition to the new job has been bumpy. And, I am almost embarrassed to say this, but another company has started wooing me (they found me through LinkedIn, I am not applying to jobs anymore!), more money there, shorter commute .... I did a phone interview with them last week and have an in-person interview Monday. Life is messy sometime. And my mom's health continues to fail, and pre-menopause is not kind to me. So maybe a long hold and really, really tiny cuts when I start up again make sense.

 

Hope all the buddies have a good weekend.

 

More money and shorter commute sure sounds better, especially during w/d!!! I'm glad the updose worked and you are feeling a bit better. I suffer from nausea too so I have always appreciated your posts and hope it lifts soon. 

[[bl...]]

Hi buddies. Hope everyone ok today.

 

Greencup: have u tried setiva, earlier on, like 6:00? It is more of a high but then by bed time I am TIRED. Never felt the body high -indica-made me sleepy, just high and not in a way I necessarily liked. Abd no matter how little the, I feel it.

 

I had such a crush on my 10th grade chemistry teacher. If he could see me now! 

[[Ju...]]

TooManyBennies --

 

Everybody is different, but with Valium, 5 mg. three times a day for more than 40 years, I was able to reduce to 1.75 mg. in three years.  I got into trouble and up-dosed to 4 mg. to hold for two years.  In that two years, I had fatigue (my main symptom the whole time) for one year and nine months.  Then I think I was healed.

 

The fatigue did not get worse during those two years.  I did have increasing windows.  I was not struck with any bad surprises.

 

And I wish the best for you.  I think you are looking at a couple of years ahead, but with at least some windows as time goes by.

[[St...]]

Hi Chenka you are doing really well.If you had a signature that would help a lot.Long holds allow your brain to recover from cuts etc as well as allowing healing to take place.The length of time it takes varies and you will not feel 100% but you will feel a lot better than you do now.Holding isn't easy as you will get frustrated and you will want to cut as you will feel you are wasting your time but trust me you are not.l have taken this time to learn how to deal with the ebb and flow of withdrawal symptoms healing isn't linear so it is a good learning curve.Also l believe it will make the period after stopping benzos less acute.

    Regarding tolerance withdrawal l think we have all hit tolerance years ago and here they use that term to scare people into rushing their taper.What you will feel is withdrawal symptoms so don't worry about tolerance withdrawal and allow everything to settle down.

    Stut X

[[St...]]

TMB try not to look too far into the future.l know that is probably the hardest thing however we are all different and healing will happen when it happens.l hope you see some stability soon.You have got this.

      Love Stut X.

[[St...]]

NJ l have to say no matter how bad you feel you must still be doing exceptional work if you are being head hunted.You are amazing.Sorry to hear about your mum.

    Greencup l hope your sleep improves.

        Hi to bluepill,Cant, Begood,Heath, Miyu,SS hope you all have a good weekend.

        Stut X

[[Ca...]]

Hi Guys...  Stut, some great advice going out, as always...

Though not the only one by any means... Am thinking about this as I have learnt a few new things the last couple of days... All of it supports what we aim to achieve here...

 

A better day again... Thats Two in a row..!! Fingers crossed..

 

I spent about 4hrs yesterday and 6hrs today on the backhoe picking out boulders for landscaping...

Bit like riding a mechanical bull..!! This is back to pre taper days...

 

My CNS is still all reved up, and anxiety is bad when I sit still...

I WILL have to rest a lot tomorrow regardless...

Just had a HOT epsom salt bath, so nice in winter..!!

If this is the end of this wave, then im GUESSING another month of good and its time to think about stepping off in some fashion...

 

To all those still in the trentches... Hold on..!!

 

 

[[Ma...]]

Hi Guys...  Stut, some great advice going out, as always...

Though not the only one by any means... Am thinking about this as I have learnt a few new things the last couple of days... All of it supports what we aim to achieve here...

 

A better day again... Thats Two in a row..!! Fingers crossed..

 

I spent about 4hrs yesterday and 6hrs today on the backhoe picking out boulders for landscaping...

Bit like riding a mechanical bull..!! This is back to pre taper days...

 

My CNS is still all reved up, and anxiety is bad when I sit still...

I WILL have to rest a lot tomorrow regardless...

Just had a HOT epsom salt bath, so nice in winter..!!

If this is the end of this wave, then im GUESSING another month of good and its time to think about stepping off in some fashion...

 

To all those still in the trentches... Hold on..!!

 

Good for u Cantfly, that sounds fun but I can see why an epsom bath would be called for

[[Ca...]]

Hi Guys...  Stut, some great advice going out, as always...

Though not the only one by any means... Am thinking about this as I have learnt a few new things the last couple of days... All of it supports what we aim to achieve here...

 

A better day again... Thats Two in a row..!! Fingers crossed..

 

I spent about 4hrs yesterday and 6hrs today on the backhoe picking out boulders for landscaping...

Bit like riding a mechanical bull..!! This is back to pre taper days...

 

My CNS is still all reved up, and anxiety is bad when I sit still...

I WILL have to rest a lot tomorrow regardless...

Just had a HOT epsom salt bath, so nice in winter..!!

If this is the end of this wave, then im GUESSING another month of good and its time to think about stepping off in some fashion...

 

To all those still in the trentches... Hold on..!!

 

Good for u Cantfly, that sounds fun but I can see why an epsom bath would be called for

Thanks Mary..

Actually it is my first epsom bath in a very long time... And I actually think it helped lots... more than a hot spa...

[[La...]]

Sorry I haven't been here to offer support. I with my sister most of the day

 

We are really struggling, that wave from 4/22 was horrible and hasn't lifted, maybe we got hit with more.

I can't believe this has happened. There were many times this year when we thought we were close to getting a settling.  Even though we got hit with waves in Feb and March, it mainly just made our evenings worse, but we were still getting pockets of calm in the rest of the day.  We had our best day 4/7, then 4/15 marked holding for 7 months, a week later 4/22 we got hit with this intense wave.  We are still shocked that something so intense could hit us after 7 months of holding.  We were hoping it would have settled by now, but it hasn't .  We're not sure what we are going to do. It's the bathroom phobia that is making things so hard.  I'm not asking for advice (we know what our options are), I guess I'm just posting to vent,. We are truly terrified that we won't make it out of this now. We have now been holding for 8 months--we thought we would be settled now. 

 

[[St...]]

Oh Laura l am so sorry you are still going through hell l was hoping that everything would have settled by now.l really don't know what to say other than l hope you and your family get some stability soon.

    Love Stut X

[[NJ...]]

Have most of you healed in a hold that lasts three months?  And then able to reduce further without bad symptoms?

 

I read on this thread of a six-month hold before getting off the last 1 mg. of Valium.  And then reducing only .1 mg. Valium per month.

 

Someone else said that I could jump at 1 mg. Valium.

 

So the advice is conflicting. 

 

I appreciate this thread very much.  I healed from fatigue in my two-year hold; it took me a year and nine months of fatigue, but then it lifted.  So I was able to go pretty fast as I reduced from 4 mg.

 

Holds work.  It does get tedious, and it is hard to be patient in a hold.

 

Thank you for reading and reflecting on my questions.

 

This is obviously only my opinion and I don't think there is any real research.

 

I don't think you heal in a six month hold; but I think there is significant healing during that time. And, as you found from your two year hold, I think that long holds can get us to a place where we can taper again.

 

I am not near the end of my taper and not on V, but I would continue to taper down to ensure a smoother walk off, as others have advised.

 

Your story of your two year hold and others who have done really long holds may have me rethinking what I do next. I haven't updated my signature yet but updosed back to .4 mg of K from .35 on Tuesday. I seem to be having some reduction in the nausea, which may be coincidence, have to see. My plan was to hold here until mid-August but maybe longer does make sense. It is so hard not to push and rush, but every time I do that I get in trouble. And my life continues to be a tad more stressful than I would like right now. The transition to the new job has been bumpy. And, I am almost embarrassed to say this, but another company has started wooing me (they found me through LinkedIn, I am not applying to jobs anymore!), more money there, shorter commute .... I did a phone interview with them last week and have an in-person interview Monday. Life is messy sometime. And my mom's health continues to fail, and pre-menopause is not kind to me. So maybe a long hold and really, really tiny cuts when I start up again make sense.

 

Hope all the buddies have a good weekend.

 

More money and shorter commute sure sounds better, especially during w/d!!! I'm glad the updose worked and you are feeling a bit better. I suffer from nausea too so I have always appreciated your posts and hope it lifts soon. 

 

OliveKitty: I see you are on phenergan, assume it is for the nausea? I really don't find it helps me. Yesterday I decided to go back to CBD oil and am going to try a low dose twice a day to see if that helps more with GI distress.

 

TMB: I think it is impossible to know how long it will take to heal, and I do think that many buddies who are doing well drop off BB, so we don't hear their stories. Hang in there!

[[St...]]

Thanks Cant has to be said massive improvement from last weekend to this.You'll feel it tomorrow.

    Love Stut X

[[La...]]

Oh Laura l am so sorry you are still going through hell l was hoping that everything would have settled by now.l really don't know what to say other than l hope you and your family get some stability soon.

    Love Stut X

 

Thanks Stut.  I'm crying right now, i can't believe this happened, We felt like we were getting close and then this horrible wave hit. Yesterday was our worst day (dramatically worse than day before, not sure why, did another wave hit?) and this morning is worse than normal too.  We are just devastated, there were so many times earlier in this year that we thought we were getting close to getting out of it. 

 

 

[[St...]]

Laura you will drive yourself mad trying to work it out.l just hope it settles down and to be honest with you Laura l can't see why it wouldn't.

      Love Stut X

[[Ca...]]

Sorry I haven't been here to offer support. I with my sister most of the day

 

We are really struggling, that wave from 4/22 was horrible and hasn't lifted, maybe we got hit with more.

I can't believe this has happened. There were many times this year when we thought we were close to getting a settling.  Even though we got hit with waves in Feb and March, it mainly just made our evenings worse, but we were still getting pockets of calm in the rest of the day.  We had our best day 4/7, then 4/15 marked holding for 7 months, a week later 4/22 we got hit with this intense wave.  We are still shocked that something so intense could hit us after 7 months of holding.  We were hoping it would have settled by now, but it hasn't .  We're not sure what we are going to do. It's the bathroom phobia that is making things so hard.  I'm not asking for advice (we know what our options are), I guess I'm just posting to vent,. We are truly terrified that we won't make it out of this now. We have now been holding for 8 months--we thought we would be settled now.

Hi there Laura..

Was just thinking of you Guys yesterday..!!

I wish this was easier for you, You have put in such an effort, and I would like to think the rewards are close...

All I can say is that my last wave post cut is the worst... -which doesnt help much as I never know untill after the fact... It just helps me not to panic when things are bad...

 

I wish you every strength through this journey... Stay strong and look after yourself too..

-Thanks for posting..

 

[[La...]]

Sorry I haven't been here to offer support. I with my sister most of the day

 

We are really struggling, that wave from 4/22 was horrible and hasn't lifted, maybe we got hit with more.

I can't believe this has happened. There were many times this year when we thought we were close to getting a settling.  Even though we got hit with waves in Feb and March, it mainly just made our evenings worse, but we were still getting pockets of calm in the rest of the day.  We had our best day 4/7, then 4/15 marked holding for 7 months, a week later 4/22 we got hit with this intense wave.  We are still shocked that something so intense could hit us after 7 months of holding.  We were hoping it would have settled by now, but it hasn't .  We're not sure what we are going to do. It's the bathroom phobia that is making things so hard.  I'm not asking for advice (we know what our options are), I guess I'm just posting to vent,. We are truly terrified that we won't make it out of this now. We have now been holding for 8 months--we thought we would be settled now.

Hi there Laura..

Was just thinking of you Guys yesterday..!!

I wish this was easier for you, You have put in such an effort, and I would like to think the rewards are close...

All I can say is that my last wave post cut is the worst... -which doesnt help much as I never know untill after the fact... It just helps me not to panic when things are bad...

 

I wish you every strength through this journey... Stay strong and look after yourself too..

-Thanks for posting..

 

Can't - Thanks so much for your support.  We've tried so hard to go slow and make this hellish process as gentle as possible.  We truly thought we were on our way to a settling, we are shocked that something this intense could just roll in like this.  And my sister has already been through so much--IBS/SIBO, CFS, Fibromyalgia, then Lyme, and those were all horrible, and we got rid of all of them, but they were a cakewalk compared to this. 

[[Kg...]]

TMB - To answer your question- I think that when you read the posts of people who have jumped (other than success stories) you are reading posts from the % of people who are having issues.  Most of us who jumped, and are doing fine,  no longer come here or post.  I sometimes stop by to check on some of my buddies and read the 'new replies to my posts' to see what is going on but not much anymore.  I know most of the people that jumped around the same time as me don't post at all or very infrequently.  We are all back to living our lives and not thinking about benzos anymore.  We keep in touch through other means now and not BB.

 

You will be fine!!

 

 

 

 

[[Ma...]]

Hi Guys...  Stut, some great advice going out, as always...

Though not the only one by any means... Am thinking about this as I have learnt a few new things the last couple of days... All of it supports what we aim to achieve here...

 

A better day again... Thats Two in a row..!! Fingers crossed..

 

I spent about 4hrs yesterday and 6hrs today on the backhoe picking out boulders for landscaping...

Bit like riding a mechanical bull..!! This is back to pre taper days...

 

My CNS is still all reved up, and anxiety is bad when I sit still...

I WILL have to rest a lot tomorrow regardless...

Just had a HOT epsom salt bath, so nice in winter..!!

If this is the end of this wave, then im GUESSING another month of good and its time to think about stepping off in some fashion...

 

To all those still in the trentches... Hold on..!!

 

Good for u Cantfly, that sounds fun but I can see why an epsom bath would be called for

Thanks Mary..

Actually it is my first epsom bath in a very long time... And I actually think it helped lots... more than a hot spa...

 

Good any relief we get is wonderful 

[[To...]]

Thanks everyone who responded to my question (NJ, Kgirl, Juliann, Stut) about post jump recovery timeline. Sleep is starting to degrade again (which isn't saying much since it had peaked at just a little more than 4 hours), and I am hoping I don't hit another bottom like Feb and March.

 

A window would have been nice to at least be a sign of healing. I guess I am still too early in the process for that.

 

Going to try and get something done today. Head is sleep-deprived foggy, so it won't be much, but maybe something constructive. A hopefully great day to all.

[[Su...]]

Hi Guys...  Stut, some great advice going out, as always...

Though not the only one by any means... Am thinking about this as I have learnt a few new things the last couple of days... All of it supports what we aim to achieve here...

 

A better day again... Thats Two in a row..!! Fingers crossed..

 

I spent about 4hrs yesterday and 6hrs today on the backhoe picking out boulders for landscaping...

Bit like riding a mechanical bull..!! This is back to pre taper days...

 

My CNS is still all reved up, and anxiety is bad when I sit still...

I WILL have to rest a lot tomorrow regardless...

Just had a HOT epsom salt bath, so nice in winter..!!

If this is the end of this wave, then im GUESSING another month of good and its time to think about stepping off in some fashion...

 

To all those still in the trentches... Hold on..!!

 

Good for u Cantfly, that sounds fun but I can see why an epsom bath would be called for

Thanks Mary..

Actually it is my first epsom bath in a very long time... And I actually think it helped lots... more than a hot spa...

Epsom salt baths are my go to when I just can't stand another minute.... and then everything looks a bit brighter.

They are pure magnesium I've been told....

Whatever -- they work!

[[Gr...]]

I finally slept.  It wasn't completely a normal sleep but it was deeper than the other nights and I woke up feeling like I did actually sleep.  Last night I did combine the indica and the cbd.  Bluepill- I was doing the sativa before and I had a few anxious times with in, but now I realize that I will probably always risk some level of anxiety with anything but low thc. But I do think the thc is somehow the main helper for sleep, or maybe it is the wearing off of it?  I am not certain.

 

I still had that super light sleep where I am dreaming, but I think I am just thinking.  I feel like I have started being in some weird new type of consciousness.  Where I am aware of the thoughts in my dream and able to judge them as I would when I am awake, but I am actually asleep.  It is super strange.

 

Lately it has been one night of okay/good sleep and then two nights off.  I hope it gets better.

 

Laura- I'm so sorry things are still rough for you guys. 

 

Canfly- Hope you had a good bath.  It's too hot here for me to even think about baths.

 

TMB- have you been in a wave since you jumped in January? 

 

 

 

[[To...]]

I finally slept.  It wasn't completely a normal sleep but it was deeper than the other nights and I woke up feeling like I did actually sleep.

...

 

Lately it has been one night of okay/good sleep and then two nights off.  I hope it gets better.

 

...

 

TMB- have you been in a wave since you jumped in January?

GC, that is fantastic news that you got some good sleep. Hope tonight you get to make it two in a row!

 

As for your question about my wave, I've crawled up from the bottom somewhat since, but it has been one continuous wave since the end of January with no let up.

[[La...]]

Greencup- Thanks for the sympathy. Things are a little better today (thankfully).  Great to hear you got some sleep. We've been having some good luck with unisom sleep tabs

 

TooManyBennies- So sorry for all you have been going through.  These poisons are unreal. Hope you get some relief soon

[[To...]]

Greencup- Thanks for the sympathy. Things are a little better today (thankfully).  Great to hear you got some sleep. We've been having some good luck with unisom sleep tabs

 

TooManyBennies- So sorry for all you have been going through.  These poisons are unreal. Hope you get some relief soon

Thank you, Laura. I know you are dealing with a horrific wave that your sister is experiencing. I so hope that she comes out of it soon.