The Long Hold Support Group

[[Ma...]]

Hey Baddove, be careful with that Tylenol! I recently listened to a podcast that was eye opening, about acetaminophen. It's on This American Life, and the episode is called Use Only As Directed, #505. It's crazy! Apparently acetaminophen kills more Americans than any other over the counter pain reliever, just one extra pill can be an overdose.

 

Especially if u drink......

Bad combo.....

[[To...]]

NJ,  I'm glad to hear you are doing better, and without the updose.  Just sleeping better makes a huge difference.  Is your nausea improved as well.

 

TMB,  you have so much on your plate with the need to move.  It can be done though.  One task at a time.  I find I must breakdown large jobs into little pieces or I'm so overwhelmed I fail to even make a start.  With the Ritalin helping control some symptoms it will be more doable.  Think of the relief in your stress load once you have downsized and your finances improve.  From my own experience, we are capable of much more than we think.  I'm so sorry life has been so rough for you and your wife.

 

BadDove,  I have to echo BG's concerns.  Appendicitis can begin with pain around the navel, so keep a watch.  If it is truly something serious it will not go away.  I have bloating and IBS sx since tapering too.  Just went through a very rough few weeks with it but my small updose has me back to normal.

 

I still have some sx that come up now and then, like anxiety and tingling feet but overall I'm much better.  I'm able to get things done and now feel confident I'll be able to handle the graduation next month and our family trip to the southeast.  How does everyone manage their dosing schedule when crossing to three time zones away?

Thanks, Gingermint. Getting started and fending off the intrusive anxious thoughts that dog me every step of the way will be keys to breaking it down into manageable pieces and accomplishing something. We're going to re-schedule the realtor. My wife has to lead since I am not currently able to handle the bigger issues like I always did in the past.

 

Glad to hear that you are better overall and able to get things done. Hope the time shift won't mess you up on your upcoming trip.

[[NJ...]]

So this is another middle of the night post from me. It's another bad "Sunday night insomnia," except for it's Monday night as it's the Memorial Day weekend.

 

I was doing really well last few days, even napped Friday and Saturday. And here I am again, it is 2 in the morning, I have to get up before 6 for work, haven't slept, have diarrhea and am dry heaving.

 

Obviously I need to do that updose as I am clearly not stable. I don't know if I am going to be able to make work or not tomorrow. The new job has been more stressful than I imagined and feel sometimes like this was a terrible mistake to take the job. I am really afraid that I am not going to be able to get this under control healthwise and that I may end up losing my job. At this point I would prefer not to work, but financially I don't see that as an option.

 

I did put in for my medical marijuana card but it will be at least two or three more weeks until I get that, which feels like a very long time and I don't know how much that will help me.

 

Ugh ... I really need a break from this craziness. I cannot have another week of no sleep/constant nausea. I just can't push through this anymore. I really can't.

[[St...]]

Hi NJ so sorry to hear that.You sound as though you are stressed about work perhaps that is why you suffer so much the night before you go back.l hope the script helps you.If l were you l would stop the taper until everything settles down.l don't think you need anymore stress at this time.l hope everything settles down for you.

    To everyone else l hope today is a steady day for you.

      Stut X

[[NJ...]]

Thanks stut. Just got sick again after taking more anti nausea meds just sent my boss an email to let her know I likely won’t be in today. This is a nightmare. I have not been this sick since my 20s when I cold turkeued  Libra’s which is a Benzo. I am terrified about losing my job if I cannot pull myself together. I do have 12 hours of sick time so can take the day today but if I don’t feel much better soon and miss more work not sure of the consequences. Like many I wish o had a real illness where I could share what is going on. The fear of possibly losing my job is making this worse. I think I need to talk to hr and figure this out. What if I need some more days. Also going to try to get more compazinenfrom the dr if she will prescribe it.bit I keep getting sick even with anti nausea meds on my system.

[[St...]]

NJ have you saw the new doctor regarding your stomach.l think l remember you were going to see someone new.l think you better go and have a chat with her.l know you are really worried about losing your job so try to see if there is any wiggle regarding sick leave etc.

    Stut X

[[St...]]

Sorry meant see HR not her.

    Stut X

[[Ca...]]

NJ, Im real sorry to hear this...

I wish you every success in finding the place you can hold it all together from... You can do this...!!

 

 

[[bl...]]

NJ:

I know I am going to get clobbered for even saying this but have you thought about going back on lexapro to help you through benzo taper? I had never been on an ssri until 2 months ago when insomnia and anxiety became too much to work and function. It’s helped though since yesterday I am having vertigo which I suppose could be fro laxapro though I suspect it’s DLmT I began 2 weeks ago. Very scary and I don’t know but it sounds as if you are in a bad bad place and if u tolerated the lexapro and got off of it without too much trouble, might it be something to reconsider to get u throughthispatch? Please nobodycone after me. I’m just trying to help. I know it’s not party line on bb but everyone is different. In any event, hang in NJ. Very sorry to read this.

[[NJ...]]

NJ:

I know I am going to get clobbered for even saying this but have you thought about going back on lexapro to help you through benzo taper? I had never been on an ssri until 2 months ago when insomnia and anxiety became too much to work and function. It’s helped though since yesterday I am having vertigo which I suppose could be fro laxapro though I suspect it’s DLmT I began 2 weeks ago. Very scary and I don’t know but it sounds as if you are in a bad bad place and if u tolerated the lexapro and got off of it without too much trouble, might it be something to reconsider to get u throughthispatch? Please nobodycone after me. I’m just trying to help. I know it’s not party line on bb but everyone is different. In any event, hang in NJ. Very sorry to read this.

 

Thanks blue pill. I am on remeron which is an antidepressant. It helps (but not consistently) with sleep and nausea, so don't want to add lexapro to the mix. I may need to bump up remeron. Something to consider. I really sort of have no idea what to do. I had a good few days and totally do not understand why this keeps happening.

[[bl...]]

I hear you. Remeron did not help me as much for some reason and I think the higher you go the less it works for sleep. But not sure. Anyway, hope I didn’t offend with suggestion and I get not wanting to add anything. I was feeling a lot better with lexapro ibtil tve vertigo yesterday so thought I’d throw it out there. Hope u feel better soon.

[[...]]

Hello my dear friends, checking in .

Looks like some struggles happening, you are all such warriors! Keep hanging in there, Cant, OLive, NJ. LAura, Stut, TMB, bluepill. anyone else I've missed- sending  you all lots of love and prayers  for feeling better. 

and also to all my other buddies here :smitten:

 

I don't really know what I'm doing!!

But that's ok, I'm doing my micro micro taper, and some days are better than others. Over all I manage to stop myself from doing anything to drastic , though the temptation is always there. I will find my way like we all will.  this ever moving target it seems.

 

Where is our Valleyum? I'm sure he will surface at some point, but for how long he's been absent it sure looks like something must be going on with him that is too challenging for him to come on line.

 

even though I can't respond to everyone personally , I am thinking about you and with you on this journey .

 

love, MiYu

 

ps where are the animals you were all talking about ?

 

 

 

[[Gr...]]

MiYu !!!  :smitten:   Glad to hear from you.

 

NJStrength-  Oh, I'm so sorry you are suffering so much.  I don't know what, if anything could help.  Have you tried benadryl?  I know that anthistamine is a popular anti nausea med as well as for sleep or allergies.  I have been using flexeril and that might not be great, but I am doing it and I feel so much better after two nights of it.  I feel like it resets my sleep.  I know a lot of people are anti taking other meds and stuff but sometimes you need  a crutch to get you there. 

 

TMB-  Hang in there.  :smitten:

 

Gingermint-  That's great news that you are feeling better lately.  I hope you can enjoy the graduations and traveling with your family.  I usually just switch to the new time zone once I get there for dosing.  How many times a day do you dose?   

 

A few weeks ago, I was awoken by my husband asking me what I was doing.  I woke up and looked and I was shaking my hand, and it was asleep.  It was so weird to wake up like that.  I just had to share that, cause it was just another bizarre benzo tale, that my life is made up of right now. 

[[Gi...]]

GreenCup,  thanks for letting me know what you do when changing time zones.  I dose twice a day.  I've been altering my dose time each week so that when I'm at my destination my dose will be due at a reasonable hour.

 

NJ,  sorry your sx have returned with a vengence.  After a week long window I was slammed with a wave last night and still in it, nausea, head pressure and heart pounding anxiety and left neck pain.  What is up with that? I'm grateful for the relief I got but see a very long road ahead to get off what seems like a small amount.

    Going through some stressors too with my daughter moving 9 hours away and taking my precious granddaughter too, of course.  We've been close and I feel sad that I will rarely see them now.  In addition workman's comp is trying to close my claim even though my dr says it is unlikely I will be able to return to work, especially at my age.  And thirdly, just discovered the tree service who pruned and removed some trees broke a window.  I did not notice it before as it is quite high on the house and only the outer pane of the double paned window was broken.

 

Life goes merrily along for us all bringing blessings and challenges.  The challenges can seem insurmountable when in the midst of benzo withdrawal.

I'm very happy for those of us doing well and praying for those of us currently struggling.  This too shall pass, the sooner the better.

[[ga...]]

Hello, thread. Since I'm always telling people to come check out this group, I thought I ought to repost my Long Hold story. If anyone can find the "propaganda" (miss you, Valley!), it would be great to see that again, too.

 

Onward and upward!

Gard

 

My (Ongoing) Long Hold/Slow Taper Success

 

http://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/rescued-baby-sloths-conversation-fb__700-png.jpg

 

I started my taper off of Xanax at a rate dictated by my original doctor. He said I could get off completely in 4-6 months. After 6 weeks I crashed so badly I couldn't function to take care of myself and was so agoraphobic I could barely leave the house. My adult children had to help me take care of myself (get groceries, drive me to appointments, set up my meds, etc.). I felt a total failure. Life was daily horror.

 

I switched to a slow daily micro-taper which was gentler. My symptoms were better, but still intolerable. I very slowly crossed to Librium. I traded anxiety for depression. I could semi-function but life was misery.

 

My doctor left the practice. My new doctor told me to hold until I stabilized, so I did. It took 4 months to see improvement. It took 6 months to be able to function independently (especially set up my own meds without messing them up). It was nearly a year before I felt well enough to taper again. During this year, as I was able to do more and more on my own, I got my ducks in a row better (made better social connections, improved my coping techniques) so I was better prepared and less scared about tapering again.

 

I started tapering again. I began with just one micro-taper cut the first week. Then slowly increased to near 10% per month. When my symptoms went up, I held 3 weeks, then started slowly again. I gradually inched up to close to 10% again and am doing OK.

 

I am now tapering with much less pain. Yes, I still have symptoms. Yes, I still struggle. But I am not living in hell every day. When I have a wave, I know a window is coming. I am more independent and less leaning on my adult children. They are starting to worry less about me. That alone has made this all worth it.

 

When I was holding, I thought I was wasting time. I was not. I was healing. I was preparing my brain and my body for a successful taper. I believe I will step off without long-term damage. It's a long way away, but I have learned patience through all of this. I will be a stronger, more patient person when this is all done.

 

Gard

 

           

[[ay...]]

Hi. Pleased to meet you. What a long thread!

 

Im having a problem with Gabapentin. I have been on 3 x 300mg a day for about 4 years. About 2 months ago I took out the middle afternoon dose, and hardly felt a thing, so a month later I took out the morning dose leaving just 300mg at night. 2.5 weeks later my chronic inner thigh and buttock pain has returned rendering me unable to sit or stand in the same position which means I have to lie on the bed a lot. This is what I was given it for but It worked so well I've not felt all this for years just breakthrough pain here and there.

 

So I reinstated back to 3 x 300mg 4 days ago in panick. Also because I've woken every morning except one burning on my trunk, arms, and shoulders. It is a very strong burning and has scared me stupid especially upon waking. Still now 4 days on 3 x 300 and no improvement. I'm fearing they have stopped working and that I will be stuck like this.

 

I darent see a Dr as Im scared they'll say taper off, and too quickly or they might not even believe in Gabapentin withdrawal as apparently most drs don't. In a bit of a tizz overall. Someone said it takes 4 days for the dose to settle down and a bit longer for the brain to register it. I underestimated the power of this drug and should have been more careful.

[[ba...]]

Hello, thread. Since I'm always telling people to come check out this group, I thought I ought to repost my Long Hold story. If anyone can find the "propaganda" (miss you, Valley!), it would be great to see that again, too.

 

Onward and upward!

Gard

 

My (Ongoing) Long Hold/Slow Taper Success

 

http://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/rescued-baby-sloths-conversation-fb__700-png.jpg

 

I started my taper off of Xanax at a rate dictated by my original doctor. He said I could get off completely in 4-6 months. After 6 weeks I crashed so badly I couldn't function to take care of myself and was so agoraphobic I could barely leave the house. My adult children had to help me take care of myself (get groceries, drive me to appointments, set up my meds, etc.). I felt a total failure. Life was daily horror.

 

I switched to a slow daily micro-taper which was gentler. My symptoms were better, but still intolerable. I very slowly crossed to Librium. I traded anxiety for depression. I could semi-function but life was misery.

 

My doctor left the practice. My new doctor told me to hold until I stabilized, so I did. It took 4 months to see improvement. It took 6 months to be able to function independently (especially set up my own meds without messing them up). It was nearly a year before I felt well enough to taper again. During this year, as I was able to do more and more on my own, I got my ducks in a row better (made better social connections, improved my coping techniques) so I was better prepared and less scared about tapering again.

 

I started tapering again. I began with just one micro-taper cut the first week. Then slowly increased to near 10% per month. When my symptoms went up, I held 3 weeks, then started slowly again. I gradually inched up to close to 10% again and am doing OK.

 

I am now tapering with much less pain. Yes, I still have symptoms. Yes, I still struggle. But I am not living in hell every day. When I have a wave, I know a window is coming. I am more independent and less leaning on my adult children. They are starting to worry less about me. That alone has made this all worth it.

 

When I was holding, I thought I was wasting time. I was not. I was healing. I was preparing my brain and my body for a successful taper. I believe I will step off without long-term damage. It's a long way away, but I have learned patience through all of this. I will be a stronger, more patient person when this is all done.

 

Gard

 

         

 

I held for a year as well on doctors advice to get stable.

 

 

[[Ma...]]

Hello, thread. Since I'm always telling people to come check out this group, I thought I ought to repost my Long Hold story. If anyone can find the "propaganda" (miss you, Valley!), it would be great to see that again, too.

 

Onward and upward!

Gard

 

My (Ongoing) Long Hold/Slow Taper Success

 

http://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/rescued-baby-sloths-conversation-fb__700-png.jpg

 

I started my taper off of Xanax at a rate dictated by my original doctor. He said I could get off completely in 4-6 months. After 6 weeks I crashed so badly I couldn't function to take care of myself and was so agoraphobic I could barely leave the house. My adult children had to help me take care of myself (get groceries, drive me to appointments, set up my meds, etc.). I felt a total failure. Life was daily horror.

 

I switched to a slow daily micro-taper which was gentler. My symptoms were better, but still intolerable. I very slowly crossed to Librium. I traded anxiety for depression. I could semi-function but life was misery.

 

My doctor left the practice. My new doctor told me to hold until I stabilized, so I did. It took 4 months to see improvement. It took 6 months to be able to function independently (especially set up my own meds without messing them up). It was nearly a year before I felt well enough to taper again. During this year, as I was able to do more and more on my own, I got my ducks in a row better (made better social connections, improved my coping techniques) so I was better prepared and less scared about tapering again.

 

I started tapering again. I began with just one micro-taper cut the first week. Then slowly increased to near 10% per month. When my symptoms went up, I held 3 weeks, then started slowly again. I gradually inched up to close to 10% again and am doing OK.

 

I am now tapering with much less pain. Yes, I still have symptoms. Yes, I still struggle. But I am not living in hell every day. When I have a wave, I know a window is coming. I am more independent and less leaning on my adult children. They are starting to worry less about me. That alone has made this all worth it.

 

When I was holding, I thought I was wasting time. I was not. I was healing. I was preparing my brain and my body for a successful taper. I believe I will step off without long-term damage. It's a long way away, but I have learned patience through all of this. I will be a stronger, more patient person when this is all done.

 

Gard

 

         

 

I held for a year as well on doctors advice to get stable.

 

 

Hello, thread. Since I'm always telling people to come check out this group, I thought I ought to repost my Long Hold story. If anyone can find the "propaganda" (miss you, Valley!), it would be great to see that again, too.

 

Onward and upward!

Gard

 

My (Ongoing) Long Hold/Slow Taper Success

 

http://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/rescued-baby-sloths-conversation-fb__700-png.jpg

 

I started my taper off of Xanax at a rate dictated by my original doctor. He said I could get off completely in 4-6 months. After 6 weeks I crashed so badly I couldn't function to take care of myself and was so agoraphobic I could barely leave the house. My adult children had to help me take care of myself (get groceries, drive me to appointments, set up my meds, etc.). I felt a total failure. Life was daily horror.

 

I switched to a slow daily micro-taper which was gentler. My symptoms were better, but still intolerable. I very slowly crossed to Librium. I traded anxiety for depression. I could semi-function but life was misery.

 

My doctor left the practice. My new doctor told me to hold until I stabilized, so I did. It took 4 months to see improvement. It took 6 months to be able to function independently (especially set up my own meds without messing them up). It was nearly a year before I felt well enough to taper again. During this year, as I was able to do more and more on my own, I got my ducks in a row better (made better social connections, improved my coping techniques) so I was better prepared and less scared about tapering again.

 

I started tapering again. I began with just one micro-taper cut the first week. Then slowly increased to near 10% per month. When my symptoms went up, I held 3 weeks, then started slowly again. I gradually inched up to close to 10% again and am doing OK.

 

I am now tapering with much less pain. Yes, I still have symptoms. Yes, I still struggle. But I am not living in hell every day. When I have a wave, I know a window is coming. I am more independent and less leaning on my adult children. They are starting to worry less about me. That alone has made this all worth it.

 

When I was holding, I thought I was wasting time. I was not. I was healing. I was preparing my brain and my body for a successful taper. I believe I will step off without long-term damage. It's a long way away, but I have learned patience through all of this. I will be a stronger, more patient person when this is all done.

 

Gard

 

         

 

I held for a year as well on doctors advice to get stable.

 

 

I love that picture, it makes me smile every time I see it

[[...]]

Hi. Pleased to meet you. What a long thread!

 

Im having a problem with Gabapentin. I have been on 3 x 300mg a day for about 4 years. About 2 months ago I took out the middle afternoon dose, and hardly felt a thing, so a month later I took out the morning dose leaving just 300mg at night. 2.5 weeks later my chronic inner thigh and buttock pain has returned rendering me unable to sit or stand in the same position which means I have to lie on the bed a lot. This is what I was given it for but It worked so well I've not felt all this for years just breakthrough pain here and there.

 

So I reinstated back to 3 x 300mg 4 days ago in panick. Also because I've woken every morning except one burning on my trunk, arms, and shoulders. It is a very strong burning and has scared me stupid especially upon waking. Still now 4 days on 3 x 300 and no improvement. I'm fearing they have stopped working and that I will be stuck like this.

 

I darent see a Dr as Im scared they'll say taper off, and too quickly or they might not even believe in Gabapentin withdrawal as apparently most drs don't. In a bit of a tizz overall. Someone said it takes 4 days for the dose to settle down and a bit longer for the brain to register it. I underestimated the power of this drug and should have been more careful.

 

Hi Ayley, Welcome to a great group 

I was just wondering , as you did ok with the first drop of 300mgs , why you couldn't just go back up to 600 ? YOu could wait there for a while and see what happens, and then decide if you want to go back up to the 900 mg dose.

 

I was on 900 mgs of GPN , I've VERY gradually reduced my dose, at forst I was able to drop 100, then 50, then 30. Now if I drop any , which i haven;t in a while , I only drop 5-10 mgs . I feel even that much . I suspect your bigger drop off 300 mgs was too much this last time.

 

so , if it were me , I;d try teh 600 mgs and wait there for a while , for the withdrawals to settle from the big cut you made, and then if you feel you can , you could very slowly decrease and do a symptoms based taper , like most of us here in this group are doing with benzos.

 

I hope this helps. Are you on any other meds?

 

MiYu

 

[[...]]

MiYu !!!  :smitten:   Glad to hear from you.

 

NJStrength-  Oh, I'm so sorry you are suffering so much.  I don't know what, if anything could help.  Have you tried benadryl?  I know that anthistamine is a popular anti nausea med as well as for sleep or allergies.  I have been using flexeril and that might not be great, but I am doing it and I feel so much better after two nights of it.  I feel like it resets my sleep.  I know a lot of people are anti taking other meds and stuff but sometimes you need  a crutch to get you there. 

 

TMB-  Hang in there.  :smitten:

 

Gingermint-  That's great news that you are feeling better lately.  I hope you can enjoy the graduations and traveling with your family.  I usually just switch to the new time zone once I get there for dosing.  How many times a day do you dose?   

 

A few weeks ago, I was awoken by my husband asking me what I was doing.  I woke up and looked and I was shaking my hand, and it was asleep.  It was so weird to wake up like that.  I just had to share that, cause it was just another bizarre benzo tale, that my life is made up of right now.

 

Hi Greencup! and gingermint! :smitten:

[[ga...]]

Hi, ayley!

[[ga...]]

 

http://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/rescued-baby-sloths-conversation-fb__700-png.jpg

 

I love that picture, it makes me smile every time I see it

 

Me, too!

[[bl...]]

Hi Miyu!!!!

 

Gard: Glad u r doing better. I responded a thanks to your post in dizziness but, I guess I got dizzy and lost it! Anyway, thanks for response..

 

Hope everyone doing okay. Rough couple of days--

xo

[[...]]

 

http://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/rescued-baby-sloths-conversation-fb__700-png.jpg

 

I love that picture, it makes me smile every time I see it

 

Me, too!

 

hi Gard  :smitten:

Thanks for your great post and for stopping by 

Your story is always inspiring  and encouraging fro me to hear ...I'm glad you have been able to increase your taper rate , gives me hope ! I need to get really stable though somehow . Probably should be leaving well alone as far as any taper goes right now , but I do think my "wd normal"has improved some . Did you see that quote on WD normal? From surviving antidepressants website originally and posed by tNTD here.

 

I don't have it to look for the long hold propaganda, but I remember it was posted  on April 1 st , remember because it was April fools day!  if anyone wants to find it .....?

 

Love, miyu 

 

 

 

[[...]]

Hi Miyu!!!!

 

Gard: Glad u r doing better. I responded a thanks to your post in dizziness but, I guess I got dizzy and lost it! Anyway, thanks for response..

 

Hope everyone doing okay. Rough couple of days--

xo

 

Hi Bluepill! 

Sorry you've had rough days....me too l had a horrible week , today a little better , 

 

Hope things improve for you ,love ,

Miyu